Meeting 14 (07-26)

Meeting Prep

- Read: Chapter 12 Listening Well in Relationships

Roles

- Facilitator: Edwin
- Exercise Facilitator: Cielja
- Time Keeper: Bill
- NOTE TAKING:

0. Write 'ON ARRIVAL QUESTION’ below:

(Before or on arrival to the meeting write an answer to this question below) page 2

1. RECORDING: Start (Time: 30 Sec)
2. INTENTION SETTING: Opening (Time: 30 Sec)
3. Building a culture of empathy: To create a feeling of mutual authentic expression, mutual listening, constructive dialogue and collaborative action.
4. MIRRORING FEELINGS: Self Empathy, check-in, mirrored feeling. (Time: 5 min)
5. QUESTION ON ARRIVAL:
6. EMPATHY CIRCLE:
  1. Topic: Chapter 12 or “What is Alive in You” or “Strong Feelings”
7. Exercise: *12 Try It
8. HOUSEHOLD

- 1. Next week Read: 13. Empathic Understanding in close Relationships
  2. Task Assignments.
  3. Meeting Report: Write a short report of the meeting to document the meeting and to share with other teams.

1. MIRRORING FEELINGS
2. INTENTION SETTING: Closing
3. End: RECORDING

( ) Post Meeting Harvesting - (Copy-Sort Material)

( ) Text posted to Participants page

( ) Text Posted to Topics pages

( ) Video Processed and Uploaded

( ) Posted to ???

ON ARRIVAL QUESTION:

How do you think reflective listening compares to our everyday conversation?

Edwin

Everyday conversation:

- Each person will experience it differently.
- Can be competitive, full of empathy blocks. Each of these blocks may have visceral feelings of discomfort for the listeners and speakers.
- Most extroverted person may get the most attention.

Reflective listening:

- Each person will experience it differently.
- For the speaker, they may feel more deeply heard, without the stress of competition.
- Can have more positive feelings, of openness, creativity, etc.

Thinking about this question, a more effective question maybe:

- How do you personally experience the difference of reflective listening as compared to everyday conversation in your life?
- How do you feel reflective listening compares to everyday conversation in your personal experience?

Bill Reflective listening focuses on the art of understanding what the speaker is saying in the deepest possible way. Everyday conversation has a number of possible objectives. From my reading of the chapter and my experience, reflective listening enriches my everyday conversation, and makes me a more effective communicator. I find this to be so because experiencing what the other person is feeling gives me insight as to what I say and how I say it will be received.

Peter

Reflective listening for me is my entering the place where I focus on letting go of all the other things I hold onto in my mind so that I can really focus in on what the person is saying. Focus is the difference for me, in exactly what is said, and making sure I don’t make of it what I want.

Cielja

Focus is the thing for me.. Shifting focusing from yourself to others and back again.

In everyday conversation I let it go. I use you messages..

I’m happy EL is a skill with me.

For example. I started defending

Chapter - Empathic Listening NOTES

Edwin

- In our training more move into the relational empathy right way.
- We have a different structure.
  - His training starts with an individual..
- Put your fears into the circle.
- Peters story and how it relates to fear.

Bill

- Like this chapter.. Applies RL to the world as a whole.. To relationships. Helps relationships. Has a real world scene. Listen to what people really need. Appreciate applied to real relationships.
- Our experience together gives a bigger picture
- We need to incorporate the other into our own self and for personal growth.
- Put your problems into the circle. Who is the person observing the circle.
- RL you see you are more than you think you are. Don’t have to be a slave to the problems.

Peter

- Hearing Cielja - 33 I may feel I’m a full adult. Noticing, thinking about.… I realize how the little moments during my life could have made my life very different. If someone had listened to me.
- At the intersection of those events. Being listened to may have helped in a big way.
- I did have a lot of people that listened to me.. There could have been more. My life could have been very different. The transformative power of really listening to people.
- EL can really impact people's lives very positivly.

Cielja

- What is in the here and now is more important.. Have to let go of thoughts about the person.
- RL: is more about being in the here and now. With less mental interference.
- Step away from self but be aware of self. Sounds contradictory
- Stay focused on your body work and felt experience.

Relationships - talking with my husband. Electromagnetic field.