Meet 02: 2018-06-18
Preparation
Read Chapter 02 Accurate Empathy
Agenda
Write On Arrival Questions:
Introductions, (Name, Where From, Work, How feeling now?)
Share On Arrival Questions
(Keep it simple for first meetings)
Review How-To Empathy Circle (need to develop slideshow and video)
Use Empathy Circle Process to discuss; Chapter 2, Training Design Project or whatever is alive for you.
Show Chapter 02 Summary
Close
On Arrival Question:
Before or on arrival to the zoom meeting. Write down your answer to the question.
PROBLEMS SOLVE What are one or two personal and/or social problems that you feel empathy can solve, and why?
Edwin - Problems:
Painful feelings of conflict, disconnection, loneliness, alienation, depression, anger, numbness, stress, anxiety, fear, etc etc can be transformed into enjoyable feelings.
Also, when feelings are disjointed, disconnected, chaotic or blocked, - empathy can be a powerful agent to integrate them.
Presently the social political polarization is something I have been working on addressing with empathy. I see that empathy can heal the divide.
Dimitra - Problems
I think that relationship problems like poor communication, misunderstandings, emotional violence
Ingrid - Problems
I am not sure if empathy “alone” can solve problems; however, being empathic definitely helps to solve problems. Based on my own experience, empathy has helped me resolve interpersonal problems. I’ve noticed that it works for me because I can really hear and understand the other person’s perspective, my defensiveness softens, and I become aware of my own judgments as well as other ways that I may block empathy.
Cathy - Problems
feeling misunderstood and as if what is being said is not important; the belief that I have nothing in common with a person who seems different from me, particularly in the hot political arena.
EMPATHY BENEFITS What do you see as one or two of the main benefits of empathy?
Edwin
Solves Problems
* I’ve heard someone say that empathy is like a universal solvent. That any problem immersed in empathy becomes dissolved and transformed.
Feels Good
* Also, for me it feels really good. Carl Rogers says, ‘It feels Damn Good.’
Dimitra
Better connection
Better connection with others, feel more lovable and i think this feeling of serenity affects our health too- because we sleep better, we smile more we experience a sense of peacefulness in our bodies, lower heart rate
Ingrid
Better connection and understanding
The main benefit is that it fosters connection and an understanding of others.
Lisa
Better Communication
miscommunication; the “unknown,” meaning there is so much unknown in relationships
Lisa
Better Communication
assisting with communication efforts in many settings, to personally help me to better communicate in my personal and work relationships; equity in relationships
Cathy
Deepening relationships and trust
Feels Good: Mental massage!!!!
the opportunity to work on putting myself and my beliefs to the side to truly listen and try to understand the other; deepening of relationship and trust that happens when I am heard and accepted….unconditional positive regard. A mental massage!!!!
Meeting Notes Area
Everyone has empathy - but what about accurate empathy
People miss the mark.
accurate empathy Training is a challenge.
Parroting
Some people adding to what is said. Energetically - put them own lens on it
People are tentative on picking up on the deeper underlying emotion
Even if it is not accurate it is still accurate.
Will take practice for me to be more empathic.
Feel a concern. How do i express myself accurately.
How to speak empathically.
Feel am empathic but Question my empathy?
Edwin
How to reflect accurately the energy
Each chapter of the book addresses how to do the empathic listening better.
We can ela
Learn by watching others.
Learn by being listened to by others.
How to nurture a listening presence.
Intention of creating a space for the person to move forward in their experience.
Empathy becomes who you are:
Need to make time to listen to others and to express oneones.
Annoyed by people who don’t have time
Strong relationships take time
It becomes a way of being.
How to become empathic in our digital relationships
Struggle with being empathic conversation on facebook, social media, phone, at starbucks
Big interest of empathy in the digital world.
May be hurt by opening up and being vulnerable. The connection you get is good.
Objectives - Task to do
become familiar with and practice the empathy circle process.
Begin doing mutual empathic listening.
Benefits
A foundational skills
Parreting
Parreting can work.. Feels uncomfortable.
How does it come across
Some people like to have their words used, others don’t
Each person will be different
Being present: speaking from the head lends itself to parreting.
We can get immersed in the dialogue.
