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Read: Chapter 9. Diving Deeper

Empathy Design Team 3: Empathy Circle

ON ARRIVAL QUESTION: What struggles or challenges do you have with empathic listening and what would you like to improve?

Edwin

• • I’m wanting to get better and deeper at the listening. That seems to be about becoming better at identifying feelings in others as they speak and naming them, and making feeling ‘guesses’. Also to follow the trail of feelings as they lead to the deeper feelings people desire, (ie values, needs)

  • Also, to identify the feelings in myself and express them. Identifying the feelings that come up in myself in response to what others say.

  • I’m desiring more exploration of the empathic listening process. For example,

    • what would happen if we had a 8 hour empathic listening circle session?

    • What if we only shared feelings in our circle- (similar to focusing)

    • Etc

  • When listening there is a felt experience, within it I can feel general stresses and anxieties and they cloud my listening. Challenge is how to be more grounded.

Dimitra

• • I think that we should try to pay more attention to our facial expressions, body language the tone of the voice because these are elements that make us seem and sound more real. Also, I would like to see how empathic listening would work when a real disagreement takes place. Will we be in a position to practise it when we are confronted with bitter comments or disrespectful attitudes? I would like to acquire more experience in how the circles of empathy work in real life situations.

  • Our circle is away from real life situation.. Appreciate Stephen's story.

  • (edwin notes: empathy circles being educational, scholarly or personal. )

  • Concern about how to translate the practice to real life settings?

  • How can I be empathic in a conflict/disagreement where I am part. It is different when I am involved than when being a mediator.

Stephan

• • Having professional conflictul dialogues. Feeling attacked, defensive, angry, disappointed. A conflict that escalates The challenge of empathic listening in professional environments.

  • (Edwin note: requesting an empathy circle. Having the practice and processes, and culture in advanced. Implement the empathy circle in advance and have an agreement in place to use empathic listening.)

Nancy

• • I think my greatest challenges right now are listening for and understanding the deeper meanings and then reflecting them back to the speaker.

  • I’m so new at this so I have many areas to improve upon including: listening for feeling, meaning and behavior (Covey); and expanding my vocabulary and choosing the right words when reflecting feelings, meanings and behaviors.

  • Do feel some tension and stress with listening.

  • A major challenge is identifying and naming the feelings. (self and other) There are so many feelings. Maybe I have small feelings vocabulary.

  • Edwin - expectations of self. May be Causing tension for Edwin.

Ingrid

• • Recognizing when I have been triggered and then either giving myself self-empathy or let the person whom I am listening to know that I have been triggered which makes it is hard for me to listen at this time.

  • Reflecting back in ways that connect - cognitively and emotionally - with the speaker.

  • Just being the silent listener I feel very relaxed as compared to when I have to talk or listen to others..

LESSON AGENDA

Administrative: (HEADINGS) (Stop-Watch)

Meeting Prep

• • Read: Chapter 9. Diving Deeper

Roles

• • Facilitator(s): Edwin

  • Facilitator(s): steps 1 and 2: Dimitra

  • Time Keeper:

  • NOTE TAKER: take and prepare notes of team progress to share with other teams so as to keep everyone up to date.

0. Write 'ON ARRIVAL QUESTION’ below: Page 2

(Before or on arrival to the meeting write an answer to this question below)

• 1. RECORDING: Start (Time: 30 Sec)

  2. INTENTION SETTING: Opening (Time: 30 Sec) Building a culture of empathy:

  3. MIRRORING FEELINGS: Self Empathy, check-in, mirrored feeling. (Time: 5 min)

  4. Project notes

     1. Last week's comments and insights. Have been noted and documented.

     2. Stephan submitted 8 hour workshop proposal the psychiatrist convention - SF

  5. QUESTION ON ARRIVAL: and move into empathy circle.

  6. EMPATHY CIRCLE:

• • 1. Topic: Chapter 9. Diving Deeper

• 7. HOUSEHOLD

• • 1. Next week Read:

    2. Task Assignments.

    3. Meeting Report: Write a short report of the meeting to document the meeting and to share with other teams.

• 8. MIRRORING FEELINGS

  9. INTENTION SETTING: Closing

  10. End: RECORDING

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