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alexmasonlong@gmail.com
My name is Alex Long, I just found out about your Empathy Training project through the NVC reddit page and I'm excited to hear about it! Most of my exposure to empathy-type ideas comes from NVC. I've read the NVC book as well as watched some of Marshall Rosenberg's conference videos on YouTube, and have found it really fulfilling to learn about and apply to my life. I've also struggled with it quite a bit though as in the heat of the moment I've found it difficult to stay empathic. I'm very interested in participating in a group like yours in which I can actively practice empathizing with myself and others to build some better "empathy muscles and habits".
I also love the idea of just putting up an empathy tent for people to come by and talk about whatever is going on for them at the moment. It seems like such a simple thing but I imagine that it could be incredibly valuable for people having a bad day or going through something hard.
I've added myself to your "Listening Well" schedule doc. Team 2's time is perfect for me so I'd love to join that if possible. I'm also available for a Skype call to talk more so please let me know when would would work for you to do that. My job is remote so my schedule is flexible, but some time in the morning (PST) would be best for me.
What is your metaphor of empathy?
Also explain how and why it is a metaphor of empathy.
I’m not super confident about this metaphor but I see the process of empathising as sort of “clearing out cobwebs”. So basically, when people first begin a discussion, or maybe an argument, there’s just a lot of stuff in between them that’s kind of clogging up the view and the connection.
You or the other person might not be expressing yourself very clearly - you might be expressing your feelings with very indirect queues, like, fear might be expressed as a judgemental statement about someone. And also, if people are triggered they may have a lot of thoughts and emotions coming up that sort of cloud their ability to hear the other person.
So in my metaphor, the misdirection people use to hide how they’re truly feeling and the emotions from triggers are the “cobwebs”. And emphasizing is the process of clearing them out, and getting to a point where both people are more honestly revealed to each other and have a connection to one another with less baggage attached.
What questions do you have about the empathy training project and MOOC?
Not exactly a question but I’m curious how to make a “practical” argument for Empathy Training, like would the MOOC be something that we’d try to get companies to sign up their employees for?
And if so, what are some success stories or metrics for making it appeal to management and people working at those companies? And also, how would you introduce it to companies that are relatively “stiff” and not engaging in any kind of real empathy at the moment. Seems like it could be a big stretch for some people to do some of this stuff.
How to make the case for empathy?
A practical sell.
The marketing for the training.
For the small teams he works in they don’t want to talk about emotions.
For each components, would there be interactive elements into it? For the structure to be more substantial.
Will there be interactive elements. Forum
Can we have a UI. help with feelings.
What do you appreciate about yourself and why do you appreciate it?
I appreciate my unorthodox upbringing - being exposed to all sorts of “cutting edge” psychology/emotional ideas and philosophies - it generally gave me a tolerance for that kind of stuff, as well as a more adventurous spirit and hunger to continue to grow in those ways.
List the specific skills that you see that are part of an empathic way of being (ie. attitude - mindset - heartset - consciousness)?
Which of these skills do you most want to get better at?
I’m thinking that while skills are important, the biggest part of empathy might actually just be the willingness to take on someone else’s position and emotion - and that in general empathy is not a very “skillful” process. But some skills I do see as valuable are:
Empathising under less than ideal circumstances, like when someone isn’t cooperative with it
Taking care of yourself so that you can continue to empathise
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