21_Emotional intelligence
Now let’s take a look at some ways in which we can increase the levels of our own emotional intelligence so that employers will be fighting over us! [laughter]The first step is to label our own feelings rather than labelling situations or other people. We should say things like “I feel angry” instead of “This is a ridiculous situation”.Secondly, it is very important to know the difference between a thought and a feeling. In terms of language we express thoughts by saying “I feel like” or “I feel as if” but for feelings we say “I feel” and then a feeling word, an adjective – happy, angry, frustrated.Next – and this is a crucial point – we should take more responsibility for our feelings. Instead of saying “You are making me jealous” we ought to say “I feel jealous”.After this we need to learn how to use our feelings to help us make decisions. Ask yourselves “How will I feel if I do this?” or “How will I feel if I don’t?” Another important issue here is respect. We have to respect the feelings of others. We should ask ourselves questions like “How will this person feel if I do this?”And of course it isn’t enough to just respect the feelings of others. We have to show others that we care. We do this through empathy and understanding. And we should accept people’s feelings. They are just as valid as our own. Then we come to energy. We need to turn anger into energy and use it to take action – productive action, that is.Finally, after getting used to understanding and analysing our emotions, we should practise getting a positive value from them. Ask yourselves “How do I feel and what could help me feel better?” and don’t forget those around you – “How do you feel?” and “What would help you feel better?”To sum up I am going to leave you with two pieces of advice. Don’t criticise, advise, control or lecture others. Just listen with empathy and in a non-judgemental way.And what about people who invalidate you? Easy – avoid them. And when it isn’t possible to avoid them altogether, try to spend less time with them and don’t let them get to you.Follow this advice and I am sure that you will soon increase your EQ level. You will feel happier and more positive and hopefully this will rub off on those around you.

22_eBay
Lecturer: Welcome everybody to today’s seminar. If I remember correctly, David, you’ll be leading the seminarDavid: Yes, that’s right ...Presenter: Fine. And how about questions – shall we keep these to the end or would you like people to interrupt during your presentation?David: Thanks, ehm , if anyone has a question just ask straight away ...Lecturer: Fine, let’s go then ...David: Right, ehm ... eBay is an enormously successful company; it’s a household word in several countries; in 2005 it had a turnover of $4.55 billion and it employed 11,600 people – it’s achieved all of this in just 11 years. What’s the secret of eBay’s success? I think the key issue here is that eBay couldn’t exist without the internet. You know, there aren’t many examples of companies like this – take Amazon, for example. If you don’t feel like switching your computer on you can always go round to the nearest bookshop. But if you want to sell your old magazines to somebody in Germany, eBay’s the only way to do it. Without the net’s ability to bring buyers and sellers together from different locations there would be no eBay. So this is big point number one. Now, let’s move on to point two, the founders of eBay. Meg Whitman, the CEO, like all of the senior staff, already had a successful business background – she brought in an experienced management team. They had a great idea but it had to be a great profitable idea. Around this – the importance of profitability – they built their business model. Let’s move on to point three, sound business management. Did you hear of eBay during the dotcom boom years?  Not a lot – they were busy building their customer base and making money, they didn’t feature in stories headlining the excesses of the dotcom boom years ... Actually, I’ll add another point, point four. eBay doesn’t produce, sell or ship anything itself, it provides the online marketplace for other people to do this. This gives it enormous financial power ...Student: David, can I ask a question?David: Sure ...Student: What difference does that make – the point about eBay not making anything itself ...?David: Well, this means that they can use their capital very effectively – you know, their capital isn’t tied up in buildings, factories, warehouses, that sort of thing. Again, their capital isn’t tied up in things that are waiting to be sold, they haven’t got shops all over the world with sales assistants in them – all this costs – see what I mean?Student: Sure, I get it now ...David: Great, now ... The only problem they’ve run into – actually, that’s not true, they’ve had a couple of major problems – anyway, the first problem, they arrived in a couple of key markets too late. This happened in Japan and Hong Kong, where Yahoo’s online marketplace had a head start. The other problem – well, it’s the sort of thing we’ve all heard about – buyers receiving stolen goods, or a product different from the one they thought they’d bought, or no product at all, sellers putting in false bids to increase the price just before an auction finishes. eBay admits this happens, but says that this sort of thing accounts for a very small percentage of all sales. OK , now I’d like to have a look at just how the company has expanded over the last 11 years ... 

23_Managing conflict
Mike: OK, Craig and Gavin, I realise that there have been some problems between you recently, and I’d like to try and sort them out right now. Gavin, can you tell me why you think this problem has arisen now?Gavin: You’re asking me!? I really have no idea. I mean, I came into this job a year ago with a special project to do … I had a very positive attitude, I was excited about it and Craig’s just blocked me all along …Craig: Well, that’s not fair at all, that’s just not true!Mike: OK, OK, one second. Can everyone speak one at a time, please! Gavin, go on …Gavin: Well, that’s about it really. I’ve never felt as if I’ve been welcomed here. I mean, when I walk into the office, the others don’t even say hello to me …Craig: That’s just not true! It’s you who doesn’t say hello!Mike: Craig, please! Gavin, can you tell me why you think this situation may have arisen?Gavin: Well, as I said, I’ve really no idea. Perhaps it’s just my style – I’m very positive, energetic and outgoing, while everyone else here seems to be half-asleep …Mike: Erm, listen, I don’t think that personal, judgemental comments like that help. Can we just stick to facts rather than opinions?Gavin: OK. Well, I could see right away that some changes needed making here, so I set about making those changes …Mike: And was that part of your job description?Gavin: Job description! Job description! That’s all I ever hear round here …That’s the problem with this place … there’s no initiative, no energy …Mike: Hmm, OK. Craig, would you like to tell us what you feel the problem is?Craig: Well, I think it’s quite clear isn’t it? Him! That’s it!Mike: OK, as I said, can we keep away from personal comments here, and stick to talking about the workplace …Craig: Well, I am talking about the workplace! He doesn’t respect the limits of what he’s supposed to do … He came in here for a one-year project, but has then tried to change the way everyone else works as well …Mike: Gavin? Can you respond to that?Gavin: Well, my project involved everyone else. It was impossible to do what I had to do without getting other people to rethink the way they work.Mike: OK, I think that personality issues are crucial here.Gavin/Craig: (murmurs of agreement)Mike: Personality issues are the most difficult thing to change. Perhaps we’ll never be able to resolve them. You are different people with different personalities and different ways of working.Gavin: And so?Mike: Well, that doesn’t mean the problem can’t be solved. We have to be flexible, accept change and be tolerant of difference.Craig: Easy to say!Mike: Well, yes, it is easy to say … but difficult to do! I don’t deny that. However, what we need to do is review your project, and look at everyone’s roles and responsibilities in the project and in this organisation as a whole. If everyone sticks to and respects other people’s roles and responsibilities, then we can at least settle on a good, constructive working atmosphere.
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