Interview with Mr Michael Lambert, unemployed

Present: Michael Lambert [ML], DS Anna Davenport [AD], DC Andrew Lepage [AL], Justin Osgood LLB [JO] (Duty Solicitor)

AD: For the tape: you are Mr Michael Lambert, currently living in the homeless hostel on Woodstock Road – is that correct?

MS: Yes.

AD: This afternoon you were involved in an incident in the University Parks. I want you to tell me, in your own words, what happened.

MS: I was just sitting there minding my own business when this bird comes along, teetering on her high heels and tapping away on her phone. She isn’t looking where she’s going. I’m not surprised when she falls over and the phone goes flying. She was lying there, right in front of me, so I get down beside her to help her up. That’s all I was doing – trying to help. She starts screaming and hitting me and then some big beefy blokes start running up and shouting at me and I think it’s time I was out of there. So I run off. I hadn’t done nothing – I just wanted to get away before they beat me up.

AD: I see. You say the woman fell over right in front of you. Did you see what made her fall?

MS: Like I said, she wasn’t looking where she was going.

AD: Do you mean that she tripped over something?

MS: Yeah … I suppose so.

AL: Your foot maybe?

MS: No! I never touched her. She just fell.

AD: OK. Never mind about that. You said you got down to help her. Did you say anything to her to let her know that was what you were doing?

MS: Can’t remember. I think I said, ‘want a hand?’ or something like that.

AD: She had a bag over her shoulder. Did you notice that?

MS: No. And I didn’t take nothing out of it neither.

AD: If you were only trying to help, why did you run off when the two men came up?

MS: She was screaming and hitting me. I wanted to get away. No-one would of believed me. You don’t either, do you?

AD: I’m trying to, Michael. But we can’t help you if you don’t answer our questions.

SILENCE

AD: Tell me what happened next, Michael.

MS: Like I said, I run off. And these bloke come after me and knocked me down and dragged me back to where the bird was sitting, with all these people standing round her yacking. And then Gav Hughes, he come up and arrested me. But I ain’t done nothing.

AD: We have witnesses who saw you throw something away as you ran. What was it?

MS: It weren’t nothing. I never threw nothing. They’re lying.

AL: You’re sure about that? You didn’t have anything in your hand when you ran off – I don’t know, a sandwich that you were eating, maybe?

MS: I told you – I didn’t throw nothing in no bushes. I know that’s where you found the bird’s purse, but I never threw it there. I never took it.

AD: We didn’t say you did, Michael. We’re just trying to find out what happened. Now, please think again. What was it that you threw away as you ran?

PAUSE WHILE THE SUSPECT CONFERS WITH THE DUTY SOLICITOR

AD: Are you ready to tell us what it was that you threw into the bushes by the path?

MS: It wasn’t the bird’s purse – or anything else of hers – and I don’t have to tell you what it was.

AL: But you admit that you did throw away something?

AD: For the benefit of the tape, Michael Lambert is nodding. Now, Michael, don’t you think it would make things easier for all of us if you just told us what it was that you threw away?

MS: I already told you: it’s got nothing to do with that bird or her things. I’m not saying any more than that. It’s not your business.

AL: If you didn’t take the purse, how do you account for it being found next to the path where you ran away in more or less the same place as witnesses saw you throw this thing whatever it was?

MS: That’s not for me to say. That’s you job. All I know is I didn’t take it and I didn’t throw it in them bushes.

AL: It’s a bit of a coincidence though, isn’t it?

MS: Mmm. Maybe. That’s your problem though, isn’t it? It’s nothing to do with me. All I did was to try to help the bleeding bird when she fell over. And this is all the fucking thanks I get!

Back Next Chapter