5.11 Regime Change

Sharing Jonah’s care with Nathan worked out fine for a while, but it wasn’t long before the cracks began to show. As Margaret had foreseen only too well, Jonah found being cared for by Nathan somewhat trying – which was sad, because they are both wonderful people and it ought to be possible for them to get along. In fact, it isn’t a matter of not getting along; it’s just that Nathan is a bit too conscientious and tried too hard. He also worries too much about what might happen to his dad if he were to be left with nobody keeping an eye on him. Jonah did his best not to complain; he knew that his son was only being over-protective because he cared about him. However, I’m sure he sometimes felt that Nathan was being rather patronising.

Nathan for his part did his best not to get angry with Jonah for taking unnecessary risks and refusing to accept his limitations. I really feel for the boy, because it must be hard in his situation to know what to say when his father insists on doing some of the really ridiculous things that Jonah does sometimes do. It’s much easier for me, being seven years older than him and having been his senior officer, back in the day. I do sometimes have to pull Jonah up about not taking proper care of himself, which I think I have a perfect right to do because, if he makes himself ill, we’ll all suffer.

Secondly, there was Nathan’s romance with Georgia, which provided a distraction from caring for his dad and a reason for him wanting to spend more time in London and less in rural Oxfordshire. She’s another young would-be barrister at his chambers. Her father is a solicitor with a practice in Hertfordshire.

Georgia was – and still is – very understanding about Nathan’s role, and never tried to prevent him from going home at weekends, but you could see that he was thinking about her – and about getting back to her – all the time he was with Jonah. It’s better now that they’re engaged, so that Georgia feels that she’s part of the family and can help instead of just keeping out of the way and not complaining about Nathan’s time being taken up with caring for his father. She’s Jewish, which may explain why she’s so understanding of the concept of duty towards one’s family – or is that just me revealing my own prejudices and repeating an ethnic stereotype?

Nevertheless, his love life, coupled with the demands of his work, which sometimes required attendance at evening meetings or legal dinners and sometimes involved travelling to see clients in other parts of the country, meant that Nathan occasionally had to ask us to keep Jonah at our house over the weekend as well as during the week. We were happy to have him and he enjoyed begin able to watch Lucy playing in her football team, which often had matches on a Saturday afternoon and joining in with our ‘Saturday night cabaret’, where we get a few friends round and have a singsong. I don’t like to boast about our family life, but I think it was all a bit of a contrast with Jonah and Nathan sitting at home trying to make conversation!

Then, there was the garden. I think I mentioned that Jonah had always been a keen gardener. Of course, he was no longer in a position to take care of the large garden at his family home and Nathan did not have either the skill or the time to do so. They paid someone to come in regularly to mow the lawns and cut the hedges, but nothing more than routine maintenance. We could see that Jonah was frustrated at seeing the garden that he had designed and developed over so many years going into a decline, but we didn’t have the time to help either.

To cut a long story short, we all agreed that it would be better for Jonah to move in with us full-time and to sell the family home in South Oxfordshire. Nathan and Georgia still help out – when we want to go away for a few days, for example – but he doesn’t need to feel obliged to keep every weekend free to look after his dad. The house sale has put money in the bank for the future – disabled living doesn’t come cheap! – as well as enabling us to buy some equipment to improve Jonah’s quality of life now. I also believe that it’s better for Jonah not to be staying in the house where he’d been happy with Margaret and constantly being reminded of her. I remember how difficult it was for me after Angie died, always half-expecting her to come out of the kitchen or the bedroom and join me.

So, here we are, a family of four: Bernie, Lucy, Jonah and me!

Next Chapter.