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Mon Dec 10 16:21:13 2012
To: All ( Taliena Imm Religion )
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There was, not too long ago, a pair of discussions on virtue and sin,
respectively. The latter continues to linger in my mind. Perhaps it was
the presence of Kantillies and his warning of the plagues that crystallized
the memory for me. Perhaps the subject of "sin" provoked questions from
some recess of my own heart. I cannot say for certain, I can only continue
asking questions.
I will be producing a series of short essays over the next several days on
what I consider "Obstructions" upon the heart's path: Desire, aversion,
sloth, restlessness and doubt. During my exploration of these Obstructions
I will avoid words like "sin" or "virtue," and I will avoid coloring my
thoughts in terms of Light and Dark. Though I write these words on my own
path to Taliena, I invite anyone, regardless of creed or political
affiliation, to consider them.
A few quick notes:
Throughout my essays I will inevitably use language specific to Taliena's
faithful. One phrase I have used already, "the heart's path" is one I
borrow from Her prophet, Elrei. It is based upon a particularly simple, yet
infinitely profound request that She lays upon her followers: "Follow your
heart." If talk of hearts or of love is something that upsets you, feel
free to leave it behind where these essays are concerned. I would not have
religious talk distract from the meaning. By "the heart's path" I mean only
that simple calling from within. Whether it is something you are born with
or something you discover through the many trials and errors of life, each
of us has some small purpose on this mortal plane. To "follow your heart"
is to realize that purpose.
When one first sets out on their heart's path, they will likely find that
the task is not so simple as the phrase itself. Whether it is the quest for
spiritual fulfillment, political advancement, the cultivation of some skill
or perhaps a pursuit of the arts, one will quickly discover a resistance to
that path. A hindrance. An obstruction from within.
These Obstructions--desire, aversion, sloth, restlessness and doubt--are not
cosmic forces that sway us in a particular direction. They are not the
domain of the gods. They are inanimate, impartial, impersonal and immensely
specific to every individual who carries them. They are not things to be
purged or attacked. They are a part of us. They are things to study.
Things to understand. Things to navigate.
I do not wish to make the case, for example, that it is inherently wrong to
have desire. Nor is it a personal failing to feel angry, or tired, or
ill-at-ease. They are not sins in and of themselves. They are only
dangerous insofar as they prevent us from seeing ourselves and our world
clearly--and in so doing, they bar us from our path.
These essays are the results of my own investigations. I do not expect them
to serve as a map for anyone else, but I do hope they may help others to
more clearly see their own paths and the obstructions that lay upon them.
To see oneself clearly and honestly is a beautiful thing. It is how we
adjust and adapt to whatever paths we choose in life. It is how we bring
those blessings to the world that only we, in our own individual ways, can
provide.
Go forth, then, and know thyself.
--Sister Leema--
Healer of the Gray Church
Deacon of Taliena
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Sat Dec 15 20:25:20 2012
To: All ( Taliena Imm Religion )
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Like many of the world's paths, the heart's path has many forks,
diversions, and detours. In this case, "Obstruction" may not be the best
word as Desire is often our greatest catalyst for motion.
When it comes to desire, people's views can get fairly extreme. Some
consider indulging in every passing desire to be the ultimate goal of life,
regardless of the cost. Others may consider desires to be "sinful" burdens
that, when indulged, corrupt the soul. Both of these views, as with any
extreme perspective, are quite limiting.
To avoid dwelling too much on the negatives, I would first like to consider
the benefits of desire.
There are many noble desires. The desire to protect one's family, kingdom
or clan. There is also the desire to pursue a spiritual path, or to express
oneself in the arts. Even seeking to establish oneself with a degree of
security or even influence in a community can stem from perfectly noble
desires. It is a good thing to be motivated, and those desires that start
us on and see us through our paths are things to be remembered and
appreciated.
But as with any path, there are many others that spring off and away from
it--often carrying its follower backwards, into dangers, or to nowhere at
all. The desires of the senses that can do this most easily.
Sensory pleasure is not necessarily a bad thing. The beauty of sunrise, the
smell of a rose, the embrace of a lover, good food or a favorite song--these
things bring texture and joy into our lives. They bring us in to fully
experience the present moment with deep clarity and appreciation. A
fragrant cup of tea, for example, can be quite meditative when enjoyed
mindfully. And it is hardly a coincidence that Taliena's shrines are both
excellent for peaceful reflection and extraordinarily beautiful.
But we most always be wary of the dangers of excess. When we allow our
actions to be controlled by desire, we lose our ability to see ourselves and
our path clearly. Desire can tint our vision, making its object
irresistibly appealing in the short term. Very quickly we can forget the
long-term consequences of our actions. Important work goes undone,
addictions deepen, dependency grows. Freedom is lost as we become slave to
our own fleeting whims. In extreme cases, intemperate desire can cause
hearts to break and trust to be irretrievably lost as a person's reliability
is lost to a spiral of unfulfilled need.
So be mindful of your desires. Enjoy life, but do not be controlled by every
pang of want. Understand your boundaries and find your own freedom. It is
good to know what you want. It is far better to understand why.
--Sister Leema--
Healer of the Gray Church
Deacon of Taliena
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Fri Jan 4 12:18:23 2013
To: All ( Taliena Imm Religion )
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We all make enemies, if I may generalize. Even if only within ourselves.
Those of the light call it corruption. Those of the darkness call it
weakness. Each and every one of us has experienced a deep (sometimes
soul-deep) resistance to someone or something, either internal or external.
Left unchecked, this feeling of resistance grows and spreads like a
sickness. Anger, hatred, rage. These are extreme manifestations of the
Obstruction of Aversion.
It is important to distinguish this point: Aversion is not, in itself, a bad
thing. It is, in fact, a perfectly natural thing. We are a world of people
with our own individual hearts, minds, ambitions and desires. It is
perfectly understandable that our own individual will would be challenged,
and it is perfectly normal to meet that challenge with some aversion, some
resistance. The simple fact is, in this world, there are just some things
we do not like.
One must not be complacent. There are always things that can be changed for
the better. There will always be people one wishes to protect. My warning
here is a simple one: Do not let your aversions obstruct you.
In following that desire for change, it can become very easy to justify a
certain unhealthy hostility. There is a compulsive hatred that can grow
from our displeasure which limits us and hurts others, sometimes in very
deep ways. In the throes of anger things can be said, hurts can be made,
that one cannot take back. There is an old expression that rings quite
true: "It can take years to build up a trusting friendship, and only moments
to destroy it."
I know there are some who hold the passion of rage sacred. I do not. Some
will defend anger as something that gives them strength, perhaps because the
way strength arises in the body feels quite similar to anger. There is a
certain power in anger, but it is my personal belief that extreme emotions,
like rage or hatred (or even infatuation,) do not sustain themselves well.
Unsustainable emotions, at some point or another, become limiting, and it
can become very easy to create a division, an animosity, within and towards
oneself. The result is always suffering.
Consider the cost. Consider the consequences. Investigate your aversions
with wise discernment. As anger arises, consider why it is there and how it
arises. Consider the way it shapes your attitudes and actions. Consider
the way it affects your path.
Sister Leema
Healer of the Gray Church
Deacon of Taliena
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Thu Jan 10 17:45:42 2013
To: All ( Taliena Imm Religion )
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Sloth, as an Obstruction, presents some fairly unique, yet incredibly
commonplace challenges to our daily lives. Also known as laziness,
complacency, apathy, listlessness, and a myriad other synonyms, the
Obstruction of Sloth is particularly difficult because it often comes in to
stop us just as we are beginning our path, and will persistently return
throughout.
It is something you can feel in your body. A creeping muddiness that saps
motivation, passion and enthusiasm for anything that takes even the smallest
effort to enjoy. While there is much to be said for gentle and relaxed
quiet, I doubt there is anyone in the world who would advocate feeling
useless.
The more interesting question about Sloth, then, is not how it obstructs us,
but how it may be overcome. There are many good methods worth mentioning,
but I think my favorite is thus: Energy begets energy. Through even the
simplest forward action of getting out of bed in the morning, one sets in
motion a sort of momentum for the rest of their day. In finding ways to
express oneself more effectively, whether in the mastery of a skill or just
day-to-day duties, a person can find the motivation to constantly push
themselves towards a deeper understanding and involvement with the world
around and within them.
Of course, this is not always a satisfying solution for someone already
deeply entrenched in Sloth. "Where," one might ask, "does one find that
initial push to act? To which I suggest, "start simple." Physical activity
is one of the greatest possible places to start. Gentle stretches, a short
walk, tugging on your earlobes... Even forcing yourself to sit up with a
little more alertness when you rest can affect body in a profound way. If
the problem is a sleepiness of the mind, try actively contemplating the
subtleties of your own internal world--of your thoughts and your body.
As with all the Obstructions, the best thing a person can do is study it.
Know the way your Sloth feels in your body. Know the way it suffocates your
thinking mind. Know it so well that you could write volumes upon volumes on
the nature of your own personal expressions of laziness. Know it without
judgment. Know it for what it is. Know it with wisdom. It will dissolve
before your very eyes.