I-Messages

Using I-Messages...

Allows for students to express their feelings in a constructive format
Provides a sentence stem to support resolving student conflict
Initiates a conversation on how others have been impacted by choices made

Implementation

Overview

- Use standardized I-Message format to help student verbally expression or write their emotions
- An I- Message is used for peer to peer or peer to adult interactions
- It is used when confronting someone who harmed you.
- Share how you feel
- Don't blame or deflect onto the other person.
- The formula
- I feel ________ when you _______ because ________. Next time please ___________.

Core Components

- A shared value of participating in the use of I-messages to resolve conflict
- Practice with sentence stems to create the procedure
- Opportunities and systems to support the use of the structure
- Provide both parties with the opportunity to share and respond

Proactive Implementation

- Creating I-message graphic organizers such as business cards or posters with the I-message sentence stems around the room can help support the use. This should also be combined with time taken on teaching students what I-messages are and how to use them in conflict.

Responsive Implementation

- When conflict occurs between two or more students then the supervising adult may give the students I-message cards or prompt them to use the I-message resources to solve the conflict. This can be facilitated by the adult or a peer.

Bucket Fits

Connection

If the need is connection then the process should include time for both students to follow up on what the other person said they felt without becoming defensive.

Skills Training

If the need is skill building then sentence stems can be provided and instruction on perspective taking/empathy may be given.

Awareness

If the need is awareness then an emphasis on listening should be used. Active listening to understand what the other person truly is saying.

Emotional Regulation

If the need is regulation then the I-messaging may occur after one or both of the students have had time to regulate themselves using a strategy.

Considerations & Adaptations

Understanding Adaptations

Consider Factors Prior to Start

- Student factors-

Gender, race, function, topography, family dynamics, interpersonal relationships

- Contextual factors -

Resource availability, classroom instruction, physical space, time, technology

Intensifying or Fading During

- Duration
- Frequency
- Feedback
- Reinforcement
- Goals

REMINDER

- Make a note to document when you're starting this intervention.
- After 10 consecutive school days of implementation, use collected data to determine the intervention's effectiveness.