Defensiveness is a way to protect our ego and a fragile self-esteem. Our self esteem is considered fragile when our failures, mistakes, and imperections decrease our self-worth.

• Brene Brown Atlas of the Heart p. 196

In order to try to limit our exposure to information that differs from how we think of ourselves, we get defensive and overjustify, make excuses, minimize, blame, discredit, discount, refute and reinterpret. Defensiveness blocks us from hearing feedback and evaluating if we want to make meaningful changes in our thinking or behavior based on input from others.

Brene Brown Atlas of the Heart p. 196

The Heart is Open