TM4T Stress Armoury 38 - Cultivating Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence does not, in itself, offer any protection from stress.

It is, however, a pre-requisite of several key techniques in our armoury. You cannot, for example, deal with difficult people in a low-stress way unless you have the emotional intelligence to understand and disarm their intentions.

The fact is that the staffroom is a complicated place, and that we teachers are so used to dealing with adolescents that we sometimes forget the complex mechanics involved in adult interaction. It's worth understanding the behavioural processes at work here...

Human adults are preconditioned to both compete and cooperate with each another, so peaceful staffroom coexistence has always required a delicate balance to be struck.

In a school, we are in a complex social hierarchy, with cramped conditions; social stress is therefore inevitable. With lots of adults in a small space, the statistical odds of encountering difficult people are increased.

As with all modern bureaucracies, our dealings with other people, including difficult people, have been extended and strained by technology, which has made us easily accessible. It is no longer easy to get a quiet moment alone.

Dealing with difficult people is stressful, and under stress our reflexive response is one of fight-or-flight; but neither is an acceptable strategy in the staffroom. Instead of deploying our instinctive responses, we need to manage relationships better, if we want to avoid social stress. And that, dear reader, means emotional intelligence.

1. There are plenty of good websites dealing with EI, but here is a summary of what skills you need to develop:

2. The ability to name and identify our own emotions; in other words, to know and say what you are feeling.

3. The ability to exercise self-control and to distinguish between one’s emotions, thoughts, and actions; in other words to be able to choose what you do, rather than to simply act based on how you feel.

4. The ability to be self-aware; in other words to be able to monitor what you are feeling

5. The ability to modify your responses and behaviour, in particular to respond in a way not entirely driven by your mood.

6. The ability to read others emotional states from their communication (verbal and non-verbal); to interpret others emotional states in terms of likely causation; and to influence other people’s emotional states through your own behaviour and communication.

7. The ability to use language (and accompanying nonverbal communication) to express emotions appropriately.

8. The ability to sustain satisfactory interpersonal relationships over a period of time, without unnecessary stress.

 The Wikipedia page is here

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