TM4T Stress Armoury 33 - Coping with emotional labour

One of the difficult aspects of being a teacher is the need to suppress displays of emotion. Now don't tell the kids, but I have been known to swear occasionally... But not in school. At home, I get irritated and display other emotions... But not in school. In school, when I phone parents I use a script so that I am consistent and complete and objective in what I say. I am always sympathetic when students have problems, and I try never to show negative emotions like frustration or exasperation... Unless, of course, I deliberately try to do so - telling Beyonce-Rae in 7C how cross I am, or tapping my watch with a frown when 10J traipse in late.

Of course, this is part of being a teacher, but there are a lot of other jobs which require you to suppress or tailor your emotions: the welcoming flight attendant, the caring nurse, the cheerful waiter. None of them is allowed to have a grumpy day either. In fact, the majority of jobs these days are emotionally demanding: office workers are expected to be team players and keep their upsets to themselves and leave their issues at home. There are even studies which show that professional debt collectors are trained to be irritable and impatient...

There are, however, consequences to this emotional labour. After an emotionally demanding day, most of use feel drained, both physically and mentally, fed up with our jobs, unable to focus or to think creatively; awash with feelings like irritability and frustration, which we've bottled up for ten hours.

If your role strains your emotions regularly, you might also begin to feel emotionally disengaged and become more distant from family and friends - a sign of burnout.

With all of this, there is a clear risk of stress, and a clear risk to your health and well-being; so, better consider how to reduce the risk...

Working Effectively as Emotional Labour

This is a big topic, which is largely outside the blinkered scope of TM4T. More info here  and here.

1. Take emotional breaks

Regular breaks are important in any job, but especially so if you're in an emotionally-loaded role. If you are going through an emotionally-stretching time at school, you need a little time to express your own emotions. This can be taken too far, of course, and a staff room filled with coffee fuelled teachers letting off steam is not a nice place to be. However, you can sensibly express (sometimes called venting) without causing too much stress for your colleagues.

2. Exercise

Light exercise is an excellent antidote to emotional demands. This involves something like a stroll in a quiet place (outside, ideally), not a punishing session at the gym. Alternatively, walking round a quiet part of the school taking deep breaths is helpful. Physical relaxation, meditation, even just sitting in a peaceful place: all have the same calming effect.

3. The empathy thing

Empathy is a useful tool when you are dealing with emotional situations. Seeing those situations consistently from the other person's point of view (their little Darren wouldn't hurt a fly) is a useful way to make your own emotional role more comfortable (based on the information we have from the hospital, Darren is now suspended).

Empathy isn't always easy, especially when you're facing parents in denial, or colleagues with Victorian values, but when you are able to disregard their negativity and appreciate why they are feeling the way that they are, then you can play your own role more realistically.

4. The authenticity thing

Some business gurus talk about a 'climate of authenticity' in successful companies. This means that the people in that company tolerate, support or encourage genuine expressions of emotion within a group of colleagues. In a school this would mean that - as long as there are no students, governors or parents around - it would be OK to say what you really feel ('feel' implying your emotions, not just your ideas) in the staffroom.

In business, this climate is believed to be important in reducing stress in emotional-loaded roles. In schools, well I'm not sure it's been tried enough to say...

At the risk of stating the obvious: this is not a technique that you can introduce unilaterally; if you suddenly start 'sharing' your emotions, this is not guaranteed to induce empathy in your colleagues. It's also worth pointing out that this technique contradicts the ideas elsewhere in TM4T. Regularly venting emotions like despair, anger, or frustration is likely to be regarded as unprofessional and does not exactly lighten the overall mood in the staffroom.

In times of emotional stress, however, it can be helpful to discuss a kind of amnesty on professional courtesies and agree to express your emotions openly within a group of peers.

There are more formal versions of this technique in use in business, involving group discussions, in which each colleague is given a minute to externalise their emotions and vent their frustrations.

5. Emotional intelligence

The topic of emotional intelligence is covered extensively and helpfully on the Web, so we don't intend to repeat that here.

More info here.

These are standard skills which are a pre-requisite for most teachers. Why they are not covered in some teacher training is a mystery to us at TM4T.

If you can develop high emotional intelligence, this will help you to distance yourself from emotional demands and emotional over-loading, and allow you to take a more objective perspective of each situation.

This is not something you can do overnight, but you can start to practice straight away. Each time you become aware of an emotional reaction, pause mentally, and - quite mechanically and objectively - look at the situation you are in. Ask yourself why you are feeling the way that you are feeling. Try to make your view more balanced: if the situation looks entirely negative and is making you frustrated and angry, try to see at least one positive aspect of what is going on.

6. Remind yourself why you chose this job

Just occasionally, reminding yourself of what education is about and why you became a teacher, can help to balance your emotional loading; revisiting the deeper significance of your work can help you to cope with your role's demands and deal with others who do not appreciate its importance.