Characters
Premise
an ascended hero gets to reshape the world... when his attempts at saving mankind fail, he has a little fun
NEW Story
open with the actual ascension of the hero, where he learns that he is different and has the power to change things
Act 1: he tries to save people
he tries to show people he's ascended ... but they think he's crazy, or they go crazy / fanatical
he tries to 'fix' people's problems ... they abuse what they are given
he tries to 'fix' the world's problems ... it swings to maintain the balance
eventually he "gives up" and "gets selfish"
he materializes a fifth of whiskey... after downing the bottle he realizes he can't get drunk
he materializes some cash and goes gambling... the first couple wins are exciting, but after he wins too much they ask him to leave the casino
a cabbie lures him into his cab to take him to a 'good place', with 'pretty girls'. (and drops him at a strip club)
he thanks the cabbie, who is a 'genius', and gives him his whole bag of casino chips as a tip
they ask him for a cover, but he waves his hand and they usher him in
a mediocre looking dancer comes up to him and he waves her off, looking around the room for a knockout, but can't find one
frustrated, he realizes he can make them all knockouts, but why stop there. he lets all the women in the world look like whatever they want to look like.
suddenly, all the dancers in the club are gorgeous, incredibly stacked, and noticeably taller.
another dancer approaches to get him a drink. he declines, but asks her to dance for him, somewhere more private
she leads him off to the vip section, and sits him down in a booth, drawing the drapes
then she sits on his lap and starts her routine, chatting him up
he asks her name... she gives him a fake stripper name. 'no, your real name. i want your real name, and you're real story. I want to hear what you really think, no lies'.
'okay, well, my name is Cindy. I started stripping to make money during college, and then liked the money much more than my classes, so I dropped out. Eight years later here I am, grinding on jerk after jerk to pay the bills. Ohh my god, I'm sorry. I don't know why I said that."
"it's okay, Cindy.
OLD Story
Act 1 : "ascension" of the main character begins...
...the event seems like the ascension, but it's really the beginning of the process...
self-awareness brings self-confidence 'unity' and 'messages' from the universe
this brings him in touch with powers of manifest-destiny, to will things to happen
but now the universe knows of him, and starts to test him
he starts to see the "test" as he's tempted by the seven deadly sins (gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, pride, lust)
he temporarily draws the wrong conclusion, and ... "pride" and "lust" get ahold of him...
he usurps some of his own manifest-destiny by creating a seductive projection of his own ego
Act 2 : each attempt to get away from the pride+lust results in escalating manifestations, mentors try to help him through it..
he tries to 'prove' ascension to others, but this is just pride - they don't see what he sees and think he's crazy
he tries to 'do good', saving individuals from themselves, "fixing" their perceived problems.. they abuse what they are given
he tries to 'fix', re-shaping society to correct imbalance.. it swings further out of balance
he tries to 'help others ascend', turns out to be just pride and greed - they think he's crazy
Act 3 : he finally realizes the "truth", what is just is...
first he acts resigned to failure, as if he's given up
however, he's really just resigned not to resign. (neo-esq "you're right. you were always right.")
Evolution of his 'power'?
first he projects illusion into his own perception
Act 1 : "ascension" of the main character...
Our main character is on a meditation retreat, mixes in some drugs, and has an "awakening". It feels amazing, but he heeds the caution not to tell anyone about his awakening experience. He hears meaning in the world, and starts to search for the truth.
He sees messages about the 'true connection' he's looking for in everything. He starts to notice some 'odd' behavior in the world.. sounds he shouldn't hear. Vibrating motion around him. He becomes aware of more 'messages', taunting, almost goading him to "make a choice, make his mark".
This all starts to give him a strange form of confidence, like he's exactly where he's supposed to be. Things are just in 'flow'. He makes an 'impulsive choice' and steps into a dangerous situation only to be saved by an improbable chain of events. It gives him a strange form of confidence.
(gluttony) he sits down to eat, and has an amazing experience. the food tastes astounding. he has an urge to bury himself in it, but holds back. He savors one more bite, and then stops, gets up, and ends the meal.
(pride) In doing routine stuff, people are paying too much attention to him. He starts to "see through" them, saying cryptic things that cause them to breakdown, cry, and feel reborn. He takes joy in the results. Someone tries to give him credit for it, claim that he is some kind of prophet. He insists no, he is just a man. The person ups their game, trying to make a spectacle. He slips out the side door and disappears.
His sense of flow, ease, and confidence is increasing. Yet he sees something more, a hidden meaning. He can't quite put his finger on it.
(envy/greed) An outrageously pretty girl unexpectedly stops him and asks a question. After a couple minutes of banter, she's flirting openly. She gives him her number just in time for her boyfriend to come out and start a fight with her about it. He politely apologizes, that they were just talking. That he meant no harm. He compliments the man on defending his beautiful girlfriend, for you never know who is out there. He excuses himself, and shakes both of their hands, leaving the crumpled paper phone number back in her hand.
He feels like he's being tested. Like there is a challenge out there from the universe. He's not sure what the challenge is.
--- bar chapter
It's the evening, and he goes to a crowed bar to think. He picks a space off to the side, trying not to interact with anyone. He orders a drink. He thinks as he watches people. He notices an incredibly attractive tall brunette with some friends. A gentleman politely interrupts him to ask if he can move to another booth, they have a large happy hour party coming in. He agrees, no problem. He gets up, and heads to another booth. Just as he's about to sit down, his waitress interrupts him, asking if he'd like another drink. He agrees, turns, and as he slips down into the booth, he finds the pretty girl already sitting in the booth staring at him.
She introduces herself (i noticed you noticing me. i hope it's already for me to come say hello) He's a bit taken aback, but easily strikes up a conversation with her. The waitress brings two drinks, supposedly a "mistake" but the girl takes the second. He's asking himself if he's being tested again, wondering how he would know. He somehow works in some awkward questions to make sure she's not married, not spoken for, a free agent of her own accord, has no ulterior movies.
That last question triggers a sassy response. "who doesn't have an ulterior motive? Just a moment ago I wanted a free drink. Is that wrong? Do you normally interrogate every pretty girl you meet?" They laugh, but it creates an awkward silence. She concludes that he's been through something. Something that changed him. She claims to be uncomplicated. Something about him caught her attention. They are both here to find something. Is that enough? He nods, relaxed. (So, tell me what about me caught your eye? Was it my pre-law fixation? Does it show?)
They both laugh again. He pauses for a moment, and then decides he's safe, there is no test. He lets his guard down, and his confidence washes back over him. He looks at her hair, and starts to describe what he likes about her in paradoxically gushing yet earnest language. It leads to an almost trance like flow of words which covers the beauty of her whole body and being (her blouse, her curve, her stance, her gaze, her eyes, and finally her wit). When he finishes she's breathing a bit heavy and leaning towards him. After a brief silence, she shakes her head, and shakes herself out of the trance.
("I feel like I should be the one checking to see if you are married. Are you? Or maybe you're just a serial Casanova. If you keep talking like that, I don't even care. Where have you been all my life?") An awkward moment of silence, then she started to slide towards him. ("Sorry. I'll just try to get you to forget I said that with a good look down my blouse.") If her suggestion wasn't enough, the way she loosened a button and tugged open a gaping view of cleavage forced him to stare longer than he intended. When he finally dragged his eyes back under his own control, she just smiled.
"I'm sorry, what we were talking about?" They both laughed. "I have never met anyone like you, XXX."
She's listening to his every complementary suggestion, including his mental suggestions. With each complement her behavior becomes exaggerated. He loves how she flirts. Loves her open blouse. Loves her teasing. ("you like that? you have not seen anything yet.")
Another pretty girl briefly catches his eye, which his flirting partner notices. She gives him trouble about it, but then admits she's hot. He imagines her coming over. Then something weird happens. XXX gets real serious, straddles his lap, then gets him to swear himself to her for the night.. just for the night.
Her language is a little peculiar and poetic, but also seductive. She agrees to be his fantasy. He feels something odd happening, but he wants it too badly, and agrees. The new "pretty girl" comes over in a huff, thinking he was her ex-bf already into another girl. She apologizes and makes to leave. XXX flatters, bonds with her, and convinces her to stay.
After a short while the two of them are practically worshiping him, trying to get him to take them home, telling him what they'd like to do to him in private.
A different waitress comes by. He's startled by her unusual appearance. She's a paradox of built, slim, busty, and feminine. He complements her immediately, which she responds skeptically to. He comes back stronger, extolling her virtues, looking to XXX for 'backup'. It's kind of bugging the new-girl, and so XXX defends her. The waitress expresses guarded flattery, confessing that most guys are not into her physique.
When she walks away, the girls taunt him for flirting with the waitress when he has them. He challenges her, doesn't she envy the woman's appearance? the strength? the beauty?
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?
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They seductively demonstrate their own beauty, and then head to the dance floor together to entertain themselves until he clears his head and decides to take them home.
When the waitress comes back with the drinks, she asks where the girl went, and he explains what happened. She's surprised, and finally convinced, and blushes at the continued flattery. He flatters her further, and pours it on. She flirts back. He imagines her coming home with him, and invites her to have a drink. She refuses because she's working. He tries to get her number, but she refuses, and instead tells him which days she works. He likes that she's hard to get, but it shakes his ascension confidence.
The two girls drift back off the dance floor, fawning over him. Seducing him so hard that he can't help but give in.
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When they get home, they are "too easy". They strip, and throw themselves at him. Playing out his previous wishes for them of