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By The Blanketed Bed-Lover
Our education system has been around since the time of the original thirteen colonies. In 1635, the Boston Latin School was established, signifying the… okay this is totally lame. If you are still reading my article, and you haven’t already died of boredom, then you are most likely familiar with the experience of school. And you, like most other students, have probably also been trapped behind a screen for over six months of classes. But all of that may change now, as rumor has it that North Rockland schools might completely reopen… for good. Ugh, I know; me too.
If that is so, then students better prepare themselves for the horrors that come with it. If school was to go back to normal, terrible things would happen. For example:
Some students would forget how to use a pen (Side note: If you use a pencil for anything other than math or science, you’re weird).
The number of bad hair days would skyrocket.
Gym class would be taken seriously again. Can you imagine?
School lunch (need I say more?).
Of course, there are also many positive things that would happen if we go back to in-person classes. For example:
Everyone’s social lives would go back to normal, since I’m willing to bet that you’ve forgotten how to, you know, actually talk to other students (Break-out rooms don’t count. No one ever talks in those).
Students would finally be able to learn what they need to know without any distractions (yay…right?).
Workloads may get smaller too, as teachers can’t hide behind their screens and give out homework like candy on Halloween (what happened to that whole “no homework” policy?).
Gabby Ceconi ('22) prepares for her important first day back!
Here we have a 100% accurate, certified (by Harbard, obviously) depiction of every NRHS student when they found out school was going to be in-person for good.
Video courtesy of BUZZ L on YouTube. | Banner courtesy of The Lion's TaleAlthough there are benefits and drawbacks, there is no doubt that everyone’s schedules would be significantly changed. That means no more sleeping during science, no more eating during math, no more getting a case of the “ceiling camera”, no more “microphone problems” or “wifi issues”, etc. Students would actually have to get out of bed and DO their work. How labor-intensive! However, on the positive side, if that new “no homework” policy goes back into effect, then students might be able to catch a break from work after those seven long hours of school. But don’t worry, I’m sure the teachers will give you plenty of classwork and tests to make up for it. How kind of them!
And don’t forget about the COVID-19 regulations. When you first get to the building, prepare yourself for an all-knowing temperature check, in which you could get kicked out for being 1 degree over the limit, but if you are somehow chilling at a solid 83 degrees, they would welcome you right in. Don’t worry, it’s still safe. The last time I checked, hypothermia was normal.
Once you're in, be careful to obey the guiding arrows on the floor that even the staff doesn’t care about. Because everyone knows that the best way to avoid getting COVID-19 is to follow little arrows on the floor that will take you halfway around the school just to get to a class two rooms away! Oh, but in all seriousness, definitely don’t forget your mask. I know that sounds a little out of place, but whatever.
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