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By Valentina Omotosho ('23)
Toxic masculinity is a behavioral standard created by society to conform men to carry themselves in a certain way, the notions of toxic masculinity are harmful to men, women, and society in general as they lead to the glorification and acceptance of behavioral characteristics such as violence which affects everyone in society. There are various aspects of toxic masculinity such as toughness: the notion that men are to be physically, emotionally, and behaviourally strong; anti-feminist: the idea that men are to be against all forms of feminism be it the right to contraception or women’s participation in politics and the workplace; and power: the notion that men’s sole purpose in life is to obtain power and status to gain respect.
In society today, the word toxic masculinity is often used to address traditional masculine behaviors such as dominance, strength, and the likes which are often glorified and praised.
The exaggerated concept of masculinity oftentimes is based on the following behavioral characteristics:
Excessive desire to always win
Never show weakness
Hide all signs of Pain and emotions
Be independent and have no needs
Strength and power
Never reach out when in need
Oppose feminism
Dominance over others
This issue surrounds us every day in our day-to-day lives as we often hear phrases such as “boys don’t cry,'' “be a man,” “man up,” “you run like a girl,” and so on are used frequently and not paid attention to as most deem it normal to say. However, what we fail to realize the most is that all of these phrases push forward the idea and notions of toxic masculinity. Phrases such as those above convey the message that males are to act a certain way and if not they are considered non-masculine or a failure which oftentimes leads to harmful behavioral characteristics such as:
Glorifying violence
Over-aggressiveness
Keeping to oneself
Sexism
Lack of awareness towards other needs
The notions of toxic masculinity, therefore, need to be addressed as there are countless harmful consequences such as the ones mentioned above to everyone in our society.
For instance, popular artists and musicians such as Harry Styles combat the notions of toxic masculinity which hold the idea that men are not to dress in traditional feminine style by wearing a dress or getting a manicure. Similarly, artists such as Bad Bunny are regularly spotted with manicures as he recently showed up to the Latin Grammy Award Show with neon green hair and stiletto nails to match. Furthermore, K-pop artists such as BTS challenge this notion as they redefine masculinity and express their fashion through traditional feminine styles. Even people we see in our day-to-day lives combat the ideas of toxic masculinity in their own ways by gravitating toward change and not conforming to society’s standards.
With all of this taken into consideration, I set out to look into the thoughts of other NR students.
What are your thoughts on Toxic Masculinity?
Rosanny Rosario ('22) (they/them) expresses their ideas that, “Men should be able to embrace themselves, both their masculine and feminine side included.” One should “learn to be comfortable with themselves.” Rosanny hints at the impact of antifeminism, which discourages men from embracing their feminine side and prevents them from embracing any form of femininity that could be deemed as non-masculine.
What measures do you think need to be taken to combat toxic masculinity?
Aiden Hoey ('21) (he/him) provides measures one could take to combat toxic masculinity as he states that “if you just think to yourself and realize that there is no set person you have to be, you could just do whatever you want.” He believes that if people just begin to accept themselves for who they are, that would contribute to combating toxic masculinity. Bryonna Lent Rivera ('23) (she/her) adds on, Bryonna feels that to combat toxic masculinity, “we need to support one another.” She feels that a lot of people lack confidence because they don’t have a support system. Therefore, people supporting and helping each other during tough times such as when they are coming out or still figuring themselves out is a great step that is needed in combating toxic masculinity. Bryonna explained that she didn’t have a lot of family support behind her and got lots of homophobic comments, saying that she was weird and that there wasn’t a need for an entire month to celebrate Pride as they only needed a couple of days.
Do you have any words of consolation for those who have been affected in any means by toxic masculinity?
Bryonna Lent Rivera ('23) (she/her) advises those who have been affected by toxic masculinity to not “pay mind to people who are against what you want to be, as long as it's not hurting anyone, then it's totally fine to be whoever you want.” She advises people to not let the opinions of others hinder them from being their true self as a judgment from people who do not accept you for you should be disregarded. Aiden Hoey adds on, stating, "other peoples' perception of you isn’t the end all be all of who you are as if you think about that and let that part of you go, you just have a much better time.”
If not addressed, toxic masculinity could also be a cause of other issues we see today such as bullying, assault, domestic violence, and physical and/or mental health issues. Students and faculty need to take on these actions not only as members of North Rockland High School, but also as members of the community to combat the issue, foster change, and create a better environment where people can be themselves without having to conform to any societal standard and ideology.
So, now that you've learned about toxic masculinity, how can you combat it?
WAYS TO COMBAT TOXIC MASCULINITY
To combat toxic masculinity, the concept of masculinity needs to be revised. Although there are various ways to combat the issue of toxic masculinity, words aren’t enough to push forward change which is why effective actions such as:
Cautioning oneself to stay away from using phrases that push the message of Toxic masculinity.
Avoid passing on the ideas and notions of toxic masculinity.
Educating oneself by listening to Ted Talks on the issue such as the one given by Justin Baldoni Justin Baldoni's Ted Talk.
Intervene and offer to help when you notice behavioral patterns relating to toxic masculinity manifesting.
Respecting people’s pronouns.
Photos courtesy of arre.co.in, Mashable, Albanhuber, Yeoja-Mag, CiTR Radio, and Metro Style, top to bottom.
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