an unresolved Paterson expedition

an unresolved expedition from the heart

across resilient bridges we pulsate along,

elongate through miles of supposed Meadowlands,

straight ahead Hudson County urban streets,

drive-in Friday night movies.

Jersey hustles along

full court presses on

crackling with photographic images,

of Allen’s ironic cantorial voice divulging Paterson secret gardens,

of Lou Costello’s wholehearted waves to Larry Doby Little League kids

parading down Broadway past my father’s Bob’s Smoke Shop,

past Uncles Morris and Harry's textile mills spinning,

the prolific worms upstairs

copulating all through the night,

of Paterson, our home town biorhythms pumping,

unbounded, flawless.

and we learned

Teterboro is the only eastcoast airport

where no one has ever been observed boarding a plane,

learned Prospect Park still plants willow trees,

discovered young salesgirls vomit secretly into crumbled lunch bags

10 pounds to fit into Sophia’s wedding dresses.

and we watched

Don Juan Matos pedaling his runaway bike through dusky Eastside Park,

cycling for all it’s worth directly from his brujo heart

in time for the Eastside High School reunion,

his handlebar desert antics

bottlenecking the Friday night Rt 46 rush hour traffic,

the innocent grinning of it,

the nefarious wink of this curandero’s eye

right back at us magically roadblocking our world.

this life may be an unresolved expedition

where we were taught to battle stagnation,

counseled that patterns should not be permitted

inside the boundaries of an innocent life lived.

once I was afraid to say “no”-

once I remained predictable-

once I sat so still

my head merged with my hands

like a kidnapper waiting to be sentenced.

once change came easy

now restraint makes a better friend,

once when magnificent dreams could be savored

now there is only surrendering to sleep,

once I played the part of the erudite man

now my vanishing youth gazes down at me from a skyscraper

slouching to tighten my weathered shoes,

once I dove headfirst for obvious rainbows

now I dismiss visions entrusted to my world.

here along our unresolved hometown expedition

 we live under this same pregnant sky,

hopeful to embrace one another in delight,

to carry one comfortably wrapped in each other’s arms,

far sequestered from the grim maddening crowds.

6/20/78

New York City