We are only a few short hours from home and I am beginning to understand some of the new lessons and realities that have crossed my path through these days and miles of “search”:

· that cactus grows in western Oklahoma acorn grass

· that a deer can appear magical, firm and confident, imbued with the kind of sentinel strength to allow a person to pass on, early morn New Mexico mesa homeland

· that sometimes should something not feel right at the moment, deciding to persevere may lead on to an alternative and better path

· that the road can be the loneliest room on earth when no one’s there to propose confusing questions to

· that “confusion” is my most difficult feeling to deal with though I have learned it is the first step toward enlightenment

· that often the wisest choice to avoid the “courageous path” comes from the fear to deal with one’s real feelings

· that many difficulties occur between people due to poor communication, and that it is essential to come to grips with what one is feeling first about a thought or situation and then with that clearer perspective rationally decide what it is you wish

· that another person cannot “make you feel” anything! it is one's soul which ultimately does the “feeling”

· that “empathy” is perhaps the most poignant word in the English language, and that being empathetic toward another means putting aside one's feelings and wants and

see things from the other person’s perspective

· that when you love another you are really loving some part of yourself

· that when two people compromise they are actually agreeing to repress a small part of their own feelings and wants

· that each time I light a cigarette I may be repressing a true human feeling to "touch" someone

· that preparing my car’s engine for a valve job is within my realm of possibilities

· that if I “miss” something or someone it means I am not really satisfied with what I am into at the present time

· that the worst detriment to growth is to judge a situation before it actually runs its cycle

· that everyone deserves to be listened to, especially the wind

· that having joyful visions based on my observations is something to strive for again

· that “pleasure is [indeed] a lonely thing”

· that in my head there’s a big microphone where all my rational and irrational feelings and thoughts try to outtalk each other, compete, and that when I’m afraid or confused it’s only those bad guys dominating the airtime, grabbing the mic, and even if one of my positive feelings or thoughts tries to tell me something to build on, the bullies are just waiting to knock him out of the box

· and that presenting someone a bouquet of yellow and orange flowers is a different manner of making love

1968

NJ TPK Rest Stop