“Slow?”

“No, Fast!”

"Come on… while the sun is setting!"

then let's dance each other silly

spilling ice cubes and drinks

through these bottomless glasses.

let's dance shoeless

hailing Pharaoh and his drunken armies,

let's dance barefoot

pretending we are free.

let's dance in the wind

like windmills declaring power,

dance together on top of those suspicious ghosts

haunting this house.

let's dance together for all the mirrors

we have smashed,

dance enfolded in each other's arms

ignoring those temptations

that no one else

save you and i

could understand.

and let's dance in the moonlight

so there’s just enough silence to hear the echoes of our feet...

...for I have betrayed this woman who prepares my rice each night.

I have betrayed this teacher who taught me “cool”.

I have betrayed the hallucinogens that showed me possibilities exist outside the inside and inside the outside.

for I have betrayed Albion Moonlight who has taught me more about myself than any human friend could.

for I have betrayed those armies who surrendered to the void when there was nothing left to fight for.

for I am a coward, my love,

looking past my dance partner into the crowds of the hungry.

it is wretched when the sea has splashed over the moon,

her children forever wanting without her.

oh solitude!

oh static in my brain!

feeling too much this dusk,

hearing whispers that punish me,

that tempt me

to anger.

still, I reach for those dancing voices,

touch the jazz separating the upbeat of discord:

two people

alone

a woman and a man

drinking coffee

waiting for planted flowers to bloom

hoping for an early spring

hoping for a voice to call them out from their winter cave.

two lovers

now strangers

using a telephone

one name

one echo lost

in the wind

lost inside a chord

and one emerges calling out for the final solution:

I call out for the ovens to at last burn away

my stubborn courage.

I call out for the Zen masters to remind me there is

no way no where no thing.

I call out for the 29^th st whores to restore my resiliency.

I call on the fbi to burst through my door

deport me to Russia.

I call out for the buzzards to begin

pecking away at this shell

I carry on my back.

I call out for the French

come teach me surrender.

I call out for the oceans of the uncaring to teach me silence.

I call out for some comedian revive my smile once more.

I call out for my neighbor to trick me with his Sufi wisdom.

I call out for the highways of America to again stretch out their asphalt before these exhausted eyes.

I call out for the bass player to lay down the lows

the violinist to stretch out the highs of human suffering.

I call on you to dissect me to uncover this cancer gnawing away at my psyche.

I call on you to abandon me so I might hear restraint.

I call on you to surround me with your breasts so that I might know the pleasures of a suckling child.

I call on you to smile at me for I have become dizzy by your grief.

I call on you to settle my will for I am dying.

I call on you to bring me your ashes for I long to discover the truth.

and I need you to sop up these tears for the rains pound away throughout my nights.

I need you to save yourself from me for I have become your worst enemy.

I need you to put down your weapons for I have quit the fight.

I need you be silent for I am growing deaf like Beethoven.

I need you to stop considering my fears for you have too many of your own.

I need you to be brave for I have stopped listening to the Mother Ocean.

I need you to respect yourself for my own struggle can not suffice.

I need you to love yourself for my love has slowly eroded.

I need you to celebrate alone for I am growing cold from too many mornings of despair.

I need you to drink my blood for though it is tired it remains pure.

and I want you to test yourself

so others may see you are goddess

you are naked

you are complete

and at last insulated

inside this foolish dancing heart.

NYC

1987