20 Ways to Cut Clutter
20 Ways to Cut Clutter from Your Writing
Give things the dignity of their own names.
Call a large white dog with black spots a Dalmatian. Call someone frequently under the influence of alcohol a drunk. Call a janitor a janitor, not an environmental maintenance engineer. Don't pad your sentences simply to be polite or politically correct. Be straightforward; be honest; be accurate.
Don't draw excessive attention to the writer.
Avoid using expressions such as "I noticed," "I spotted," "I saw," "I observed," "I could see" because they take the reader's attention away from the thing, place, or person being "noticed," "spotted," "observed," etc.
Don't use verbs that require helping verbs if a simpler form will do.
Be especially suspicious of forms of "be" and "would" when they precede an action verb.
Instead of "When everything would go wrong, Sara would take all the criticism," say, "When everything went wrong, Sara took all the criticism."
Instead of "Jose was slaughtering the dragon," say, "Jose slaughtered the dragon."
Never start an independent clause with the word "There."
When you do, you usually end up with a helping verb most commonly a form of "be"immediately after "there." Consider this sentence: "There was a rhinoceros charging across the road." We could, of course, just eliminate "there" and then move the verb "was": "A rhinoceros was charging across the road." However, if we apply #3 above, we can improve the sentence even more: A rhinoceros charged across the road.
Never start an independent clause with the word "It."
If you do, you'll usually find that a linking verb"seems," "appeared," or a form of "be"follows. Try to use action verbs or more concise ways of saying the same thing. Instead of "It was a cold night when the cows broke out," write, "On a cold night the cows broke out." Instead of "It's too bad they lost in overtime," write, "Unfortunately they lost in overtime."
Don't use two or more action verbs when only one is needed to make your meaning clear.
Usually when students write sentences like this"Nate began to cry when his collie died"they don't realize that the moment at which Nate began to cry isn't important; as long as the reader understands he cried, the reader will know that at some point he began. Consequently, the writer could use just one action verb (cried) instead of two (began, cry): "Nate cried when his collie died."
Cut the adverb implied in the verb.
Often students mistakenly assume that adverbs produce better description; however, choosing active, precise verbs often eliminates the need for an adverb. For example, "ran rapidly" can be revised to the more precise verb "sprinted," "walked slowly" to "trudged" or "ambled," and "convincingly demonstrated" to "proved."
Cut the adjective that's implied in the noun.
Students also often think that adjectives produce better description. However, one accurate noun often does the work of both an adjective and a noun. Consider this sentence: "They stared at the tall skyscrapers." Obviously, the noun "skyscrapers" doesn't need the adjective "tall" since by definition that's what skyscrapers are. The same principle applies to these sentences (the unnecessary adjectives are inside brackets): "He was lost in the [confusing] maze of alleys, doorways, and dead-ends" "The [young] juveniles threw [hard] stones at the [glass] windows."
Use the short word rather than the long one when they mean the same thing.
Instead of "numerous," say, "many"; instead of "facilitate, say, "ease"; instead of "remainder," say, "rest"; instead of "initial," say, "first"; instead of "sufficient," say, "enough"; instead of "attempt," say, "try."
Don't explain what you intend to do; just do it.
Rather than saying, "In this paper, I hope to describe," simply be descriptive. Rather than saying, "It should be pointed out," simply point it out. Rather than saying, "In conclusion," simply conclude.
Always be suspicious of "that."
Whenever you use the word "that," try reading the sentence without it; if the sentence still makes sense, cut it. Instead of "He thought that he was late," say, "He thought he was late." Instead of "I'm certain that she went home," say, "I'm certain she went home."
Use the active voice rather than the passive.
Whenever the verb shows the subject of the sentence doing something, the sentence is in active voice: "Kate swept the porch." Whenever the subject does not act but is acted upon, the sentence is in passive voice: "The porch was swept by Kate." Notice that in the active voice we can say exactly what we said in the passive voice and use two fewer words.
Cut details that are evident from other information in the sentence.
In the sentence, "She has a smile on her face," the phrase "on her face" is unnecessary because people can't have smiles anywhere else. Similarly, in this sentence"He raised up his glass and proposed a toast"the word "up" is unnecessary since raising is an upward motion.
Cut the noun implied in the adjective.
Students will sometimes write sentences like this: "Her eyes were a blue color." However, in this context, "blue" couldn't be anything other than a color, so we can revise it like this"Her eyes were blue"and better yet add an action verb: "Her blue eyes sparkled." Similar changes can be made to these sentences: "The old man's stomach was [a] round [shape] and covered with white hair" (or if we make it active, "White hair covered the old man's round stomach") and "His boss couldn't understand why he arrived [at such a] late [time]."
Don't use phrases that add words, not meaning.
Instead of "due to the fact that," write "because." Instead of "in the event that," write, "if." Instead of "with the possible exception of," write, "except." Instead of "at the present time," write, "now." Instead of "That having been said," write, "Therefore."
Don't use two or more prepositions when one will do.
Instead of "We sat over on the other side," write, "We sat on the other side." Not "She forced her way out of the door" but "She forced her way out the door."
Avoid using qualifiers.
Qualifiers are adverbs that make distinctions in quality, quantity, or degree. For example, in this sentence"Troy was very tired""very" explains to what degree Troy was tired. However, distinctions made by qualifiers usually are either (a) unnecessary or (b) necessary but wordy. If a is true for the above sentence, write this instead: "Troy was tired." If b is true, write, "Troy was exhausted."
If in other cases the distinction is necessary, make similar revisions to tighten the sentences. Instead of "extremely smart," write "brilliant." Instead of "pretty good looking," write "handsome" or "beautiful." Instead of "quite rude," write "obnoxious" or "impolite." Instead of "rather hungry," write "famished" or "starved."
State your opinions and beliefs directly and without labelling them as belonging to you.
Since you are the writer, it will be apparent that any opinions or beliefs you stateunless you identify a sourcedo, in fact, belong to you. Therefore, don't write, "I think...," "I feel...," "I believe...," I realize...," "I've concluded...," "I assert...," "It is my opinion...," "I am convinced...," or "I recognize..."
Avoid unnecessary repetition and redundancy.
Repeating words or ideas usually is a clear indication the writer needs to cut clutter or combine sentences. Instead of "Dr. Blake lived in Laramie and worked in Laramie, too," write, "Dr. Blake both lived and worked in Laramie." Instead of "The reason he quit is because...," write "He quit because..."
Don't become overly attached to your own words.
Never believe that the first thing you write is the best thing you can write. Revise, revise, revise.