Focus Statements

FOCUS STATEMENTS (also called “transition sentences”)

These are the 2-5 sentences that go between your "grabber" and your "thesis statement". Each sentence gradually gets more specific until, eventually, you reach your thesis statement--the most specific sentence of your introduction.

Focus statements appear in your introductory paragraph. They are the 2-5 sentences that appear between your "hook" and your thesis statement. Each sentence gradually gets more specific until, eventually, you reach your thesis statement--the most specific sentence of your introduction.

The introductory paragraph below starts with a quote by Aldous Huxley about dogs. The thesis statement asserts that dogs are the most rewarding pet a family could ever own. Notice how the focus statements start off broad and gradually become more specific as they get closer to the thesis statement.

SAMPLE INTRODUCTION

The author Aldous Huxley once said, "To his dog, every man is Napoleon." Huxley recognized the unconditional love that dogs have for their owners. This unique bond is why dogs have always been the most popular pet in America. Although they require a great amount time and dedication, dogs are the most rewarding pet a family could ever own.

Tips:

• Write your thesis statement before you write your introduction.

After you have written your thesis statement, think about the BIG issues that revolve around your thesis. Let these big issues inspire your introduction.

For example:

Thesis: "Although they are still used in a great number of schools in America, school uniforms are detrimental to students' long-term productivity and success."

Big issues = personal freedoms, personal expression, individual rights, contradiction of educational messages ("students need to learn to think for themselves" vs conformity of uniforms)

Introduction:

Viktor Frankl once said, "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing; the last of the human freedoms—to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way." Some of the most important lessons we as students learn can't be found in any book. While the academic lessons we learn on a daily basis are a vital part of our future as responsible and productive members of society, the opportunity to learn about ourselves is far more important. We learn these lessons in the hallways, in the cafeteria, and on our way to the parking lot. We learn how to interact, we learn how to form relationships, and we learn, as Frankl said, how to choose our attitudes. Learning how to express ourselves is a lesson that we will take with us no matter where we find ourselves in the future. Finding our identity is something that schools should encourage and at no point stifle with frivolous rules. Although still used in a great number of schools in America, school uniforms are detrimental to students' long-term productivity and success.