¡Hola! Soy Rita. Graduada en Sociología, me gusta mirar al mundo con curiosidad y creatividad. Me encanta la idea de explorar y experimentar con la creatividad como expresión de la condición humana colectivamente, en comunidad. 

¿Y tu, danzas?

This week I was more in tune with my ideas and abstract thoughts - and less with words. So I am going to use this space as a way to translate this week into phrases. I failed all of my morning pages - and, worst, didn't felt bad about it. It is, indeed, a part of the Artist's Way coursebook - but just like any course, not everything is doable and applicable to everyone. Nevertheless, I admire the discipline - and will focus on how to work with it, not against it. 

Today, my Co-star daily message was "Try not to kill any brain cells today" - and that is, translated into words, how I am trying to approach my personal projects. I am finally doing something I love, something that is bigger than me - working in an association - and, at the same time, having time to create my own projects. So I simply can't stop feeling fullfilled, both professionally and personally - because this is who I am, this is my identity, my values - and they are represented into every aspect of my life now, not just my life outside work. I am feeling very excited to share with everyone what I am working on - and what I plan to continue to work with the Creative Meetings.

At the same time, I can be an workaholic, I don't take much time without not putting an idea into the world - because my ethic is to do what I proposed myself to do and to do it in the best possible way - and I know that this a part of my life that will have pros and cons. Like being here, in Barcelona, is a surreal experience for me, sometimes, how can a city so big make me feel at home? And, at the same, I came here with a purpose, with a mission - which I am discovering still, along with TUDANZAS - that I know that it implies being far away from the people that saw me growing up that won't be here too long, they are waiting for me there. 

How do you deal with saudade? Does it get better with age? Or we just get so busy into our lives that we forget about people that aren't side by side with us, daily? 

Ricordare:

La vita è breve

(...)

Devi ballare.

~

Fine del primo atto.

I began reading Vaclav Havel - I think theatre is where I can fully understand words. I don't have many to spare for now on, but I feel like a fish outside of the sea. Like I had an ephiphany of happiness - and now it's gone, it's a bit of water in a desert. Walking here, now, feels like walking in between of strangers - not in between of potential friends. What am I doing here?

This week has been more expansive; I feel that I can breathe in sync with the universe, not against it.

This week's highlights have been all over the place: Spain won the European Football Finals and no one could sleep; I came back to the Hortet; I joined the first Grupo Motor meeting; went to new places like Tinta Roja and hiking in Martorell; bought high-heels, a very out of personality object for me. Also, I'm finishing the TouchDesigner classes - and I have so many ideas to do visually, also with Creative Meetings, I think I am just lacking the structure for it. But the work needs to start somewhere. Maybe underneath a full moon.

Inside Tudanzas, I'm learning a lot with the two new volunteers that just joined us from Bamos. I am gaining more mental organization to delegate taks, which is, for itself, a task for me. I'm not sure if I'm the person to delegate work to others - because for me work needs to be proactive; if there's a task, let's collectively do it. But since we all work differently, I recognize its' importance to the work balance for a team. 

Here are some visual diaries for this past week.

With love,

Rita

How to make a week:

1. A cute, distinguished, bird.

2. A relatable box.

3 & 4. The last exhibition I went - a Reality Immersive show. Amazing. Claustrophobic a bit.

5. A pretty street I felt cozy at, when I was running into a live show in a bar - and then decided that I felt like walking.

6. A chicken!! In the barri!! She's named Gina. 

7. Remotely helping my friends moving out - and finding out how their childhood was. In Portuguese, I'd say "Tropeço de ternura por estes momentos" - in English, wholesome.

I (re)learnt two things this week: we are all seeking for love in different ways and it doesn't need to be any specific of embodiement love. It can just mean a hug from a stranger. The second was that Agnès Varda sent a letter to Salvador Dalí to ask to do a photoshoot - and they did - in a time where there was no internet, so people would be famous and knew each other/ each other's work in a different way. For me, this was just a confirmation that we always can try; no is always guaranteed. 

We always tend to think about well-know people's achievements as an ongoing; but they are a compilation of both sucess and failures. This gave me motivation. 

Ah, see you in September - for the third act. 

This week I returned back here, from Lisbon. I have been absent for about 1 month and a half - and still, when people ask me how being in Portugal was, I just answer with a simple "It was good". There were so many waves to process, in between friends, relationships, family, carreer, goals, purposes. Nothing makes that much of sense right now, I believe it is a common feeling for those who experience the non-sense of the world. Eventually, everything burns, like an apocalyptic-show. And then we will have an interval - until the shows begins again.

For today, I choose to bring art, bars, friends and the pain of seeing an animal being treated as an object. As usually, I feel like this place - this tiny digital piece available on the internet - is a safe one to share my abstract thoughts, sometimes with no connection in between them. I've been in between home, Rambla de la Muntanya, - what is a home? - reading, and rediscovering this city, hopefully with a pair of fresh eyes. Gaia has arrived - and we all know how the process of rediscovering the place with someone who is brand new to this city is a different one, we are brought the tiny details of the hidden life in between buildings, streets, bars, interactions that we usually end up forgetting and normalizing. The first image, for me, represents it, my need to create multiple versions of something in order to delay their process of becoming boring.

As the Mercè festivities began, I met some portuguese people - curious how we all end up attached to the same place that we ran from - and I had the opportunity to enjoy CosmoCaixa, a museum I have been wanting to go for months. It was interactive, similar to Ciudad de las Artes y Ciencias in Valencia,  but had a diversity of live animals, from Amazonia, that hurted me to see, as long as my selfish wish to see them live had been realized. They were in a relatevily small space, and had been treated as non-human beings, as a static museum piece, as if, for us, humans, the only way to become closer to animals and nature is to possess it. 

Donde vás, realmente?

This days were filled with the Nexes training, so most of my sightseeings were from my room. This training was better than I expected, I was expecting a lecture and then received a week of discovering myself through strangers eye, at the same time being able to meet new people. 

It is beautiful indeed the human condition, we feel better when we meet people in the same situation as us; as if it were a human need to feel our life relatable by the same species.

Apart from that, I saw Victoria performing and shining - I hope she performs again and I am able to see it. I had the worst anxiety attack after that, but all is good. It was a good - dismantling ego - lonely cry.

My questions for this week are: 

How to make time for everything when there is no time? 

How can we speak our truth when the world revolves through lies?

What should we do to prevent the colapse while not collapsing?

Does the feeling of not knowing your full self get better with age, as it isnt static, and you never stop learning new things from your identity?

How is love, emotions, for us: how do we notice this non-rational world, this wave of non-palpable existance that cuts deeper than words, that sucks the air of a ballon, that can dry or pressure an atmosphere so much it rises the air's density?

How can we ressamble nature to art in a non-invasive way?

List of events that happened this week in order to process the world:

• Floodings;

• Halloween;

• Antonie Tapies' exhibition;

• In Lisbon, lots of women are speaking up about their sexual abuses;

• Trump won;

• 4th (or if we count the unofficial one, 5th) Creative Meeting

This week has been so intense, I lack the words to describe it. Personally, having the ability to know about everything whenever we want - or most of the times, we don't get the chance to choose it, it justs pops in our devices - is destroying my ability to process whatever is going on, because there is always something new happening. I don't know if we should just pretend that nothing's happening or just feel everything, the density of the air that is brought by what's happening, but I feel very sad, anxious, heartbroken - and I don't even feel like I feel like this since I'm not drowning in floods, my family's alive and well and I can be home whenever I want. I feel so much pain for the world that we are living in - why do we all need to pass this, in order to change the route of the future? Life keeps going with or without us - o show tem que continuar. I feel that what is keeping me with a hope in the future are the people around me: I know that they are doing beautiful things and I'm proud of them. Everyday, they try to make their world a better place, and I know it, even if sometimes they think no one is seeing it. 

“I think of myself as a complete mystery. To myself.”

                                                                                                     — Sun Ra

Veinte semanas han pasado - y parece que empezó ayer. Siento mucho cariño por todas las personas de Tudanzas y quería mucho dedicar este último espacio, este pequeño lugar de este multiverso de Internet, a eso. Mucho ha pasado - y tanto hubo altos como bajos. Pude aprender bastante - y las tareas que hice no contabilizan para este aprendizaje del que hablo. Aprender el valor de la amistad, el valor y el peso que la autoridad tiene en mi concepción de jefe y poder deconstruirlo, pensar en otra forma de vida fuera de la vida que conocí. Validar la locura que tengo, pero también ser responsable de ella. Poder aceptar que soy diferente y que no necesito entrar en algo que no me sirve. Tengo bastante amor para dar y quiero gritarlo a los cuatro vientos; a extraños; a las personas que amo; a la naturaleza. Gracias por darme esperanza en un mundo mejor.