This week reminded me of the past experiences of organizing events in a short amount of time. I felt the same sense of responsibility, feeling that there is not enough time, overcoming the language barrier while communicating with all the festival artists, the sense of the upcoming uncertainty before leaving Barcelona to Pineda del Mar. As I was not alone anymore, getting to know new colleagues and being conscious of the fact that I will need to coordinate the Cultural Management team put me in a state of expectation of a change that I could feel. 

Changes cannot be really prepared in advance, changes come like an avalanche of snow in the mountain, when you are not far enough to get out of its way. This is what these days have brought me, tons of information, events, people, impressions, all crushing over my head in a short amount of time.

Arriving to Pineda del Mar after the agitation of Barcelona was  like honey for the ears. The silence in the evening, only the sound of the waves in the night, eating together, washing the plates together with people who I just met, all combined with working outside the office atmosphere made our stay there more than enjoyable. Even though the girls in my team, Donatella and Silvia, were just learning about the work in TUDANZAS, they did a great job of adjusting themselves to the amount of work we had to accomplish together. They were a real support for me, and I hope that I was a good teacher as well. 

Also, going to Radio Ramblas together with Ana and Margherita was an experience in itself, we were discussing quantum physics and choreography, spirituality and the meaning of working together.

Overall, all this experience was like a smooth introduction into the process of togetherness in a new environment, outside in nature, doing yoga in the morning and dance in the noon, rediscovering ourselves as individuals and team mates. A conundrum in the end, all this life is mysterious.

Leaving Pineda del Mar was not easy. We layed on the grass, listening to sound of the Tibetan Bowl, not knowing what is awaiting for us in the future. We enjoyed the sun and the sound of the wind, our skin filled with the breeze of the sea, before leaving to Barcelona, where life was meant to surprise us. 

As we left behind the silence and jumped straight into noise of the big city, everything had to be restructured. Our attitudes, our way of working, even the daily habits. The fact that we were all together before in a different environment really helped to not lose our balance. 

The preparations for our collective performance brought up many feelings to the surface, not all of us were used to being exposed in such a way, to overcome such struggles. After some culminating moments, we had to go further as a group. As we studied the way that birds and other animals in nature are flocking, we learned to follow each other, feel each other. So we did, meeting even in the middle of the city unexpectedly. 

Then the festival was an experience in itself. I was personally overwhelmed in some moments, but I am very proud of the volunteer team, who managed to face all the challenges without leaving anyone behind.

We did it, we pulled through, and the festival finished with a huge Supermoon in Scorpio, reflected in the window of Casal de Barri, with Inka (from Finland) playing the piano in the middle of the night, with everyone flocking around her and listening mesmerized.

In the end, it was worth it.

So, we did it! We finished! All the people are still here, but the festival is done. This feeling is like the Purgatorium, something in the middle, between states, between the shores of river Styx. 

Not yet back to the reality, the "normal" life, but already with a big cycle left behind. Splitting my time between trying to get some type of rest, and being present with the people from the group. Also, the highlight of this week was definitely climbing the peak in Montserrat mountains : 1234 m - very symbolic, as all this path which was going up and up, and on top we had a release moment. A time of looking al the roads from above, and contemplating all the potentials that are ahead of us. We went just 4 people, more than enough to enjoy each other and the silence of the forest and the cliffs. 

We listened to Pink Floyd, (Wish you were here), right before descending, and in that moment I said goodbye to this experience inside of my heart. 

Will leave some of the lyrics here, as a reminder of that magical instant :

"So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell? Blue skies from pain? Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil? Do you think you can tell? Did they get you to trade your heroes for ghosts? Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze? Cold comfort for change? Did you exchange A walk-on part in the war For a lead role in a cage?"

Can we really tell? When I was younger I thought I could, no I am not so sure anymore. But as long as there are other souls somewhere around who wish the same, I know that I can forget, but later be reminded.

This week has brought me opposite things. On one side, a 2nd degree burn made by mistake in a second, with long-lasting consequences, and most probably a scar that will always remind me of this experience. It also brought some unexpected truths, an online on-arrival training that lasted 4 days, work from home and a visit to the emergency hospital, where I had the chance to witness how the Spanish healthcare system is working. 

The general atmosphere was of quiet, as I almost didn't go out of my room - I was told by the doctor that I should move as little as possible. While I was figuring out by myself how the insurance system works, after checking 2 other emergency rooms in the neighborhood with two blisters full of water, I was reminded again that if you are out of the European Union, there is no access to basic human things, as a simple consultancy by a medical specialist. In the end, after I solved the bureaucratic aspects of the insurance, I found out that the cost of my visit is that of 330 euros, which I am very grateful that I will not need to pay. The irony was the we were discussing about Cigna in the training right when I was dealing with these things, so it was literally a "Learning by Doing" experience. 

The online formation training was very nice, people were warm and friendly, and I managed to listen about the experience of other volunteers in various projects around Spain. It provided a wider perspective on what ESC is about, and how it is done in other associations. Overall, I am grateful for being lucky enough and having some time to review my activity, although it came with the price of burnt skin and an overall state of unwellness.