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I don’t want to see people hurting each other anymore.
Watching everything that has happened so far, I kept my feelings in check, thinking that somehow it would all pass, and continued to work hard with the members as I always have. However, just watching these situations and hoping the fire will die down is no longer an option. I feel that I can no longer stay silent for all my colleagues who are working hard even at this moment, my fans, my members, my people who are getting hurt.
This might seem like meddling to some and like a hasty post to others, but I am still mustering up courage. Being a celebrity is a job I chose, and while there are parts I must endure because I receive a lot of love, I don’t think it is a job where we have to endure to the point of self-destruction, getting hurt until the brink of death.
I just wanted to do my best and show responsibility for the given tasks, to repay the fans who love me, and to share the good energy I can give in various ways. So it is true that the burden, the pressure, and the physical and mental fatigue are indescribably immense.
Even so, we must carry on at this moment. Some look at it rationally, some smile positively, and some, though it is difficult, adapt and somehow endure because we chose it and we have to endure it, but today, that reason feels particularly harsh and cruel.
Just as some days are sunny and some are cloudy, today is very cloudy for me. I, too, have days when I try to overcome with positivity. I, too, have days when I try to smile no matter what. But today, that is not easy, and I feel sorry for those who are getting hurt at this moment. It also upsets me that I can’t embrace them all.
I wonder if my hasty and clumsy words can resonate with someone, if they can be a comfort to anyone. Including our members, the colleagues and friends I know who are working hard in the big industry of K-pop are people who genuinely love this work purely.
Because they are so sincere, they also get hurt, and because they love so much, they sometimes feel empty, but still, they live each day giving and receiving love for themselves, their members, their families, and their fans.
What I want to convey clearly is that we are not people who have been working so easily and smoothly that we can be judged lightly. We have experienced enough pain, fallen apart, and somehow overcome it, putting in tenacious effort to show our best on stage for our fans. I hope people don’t take idols lightly.
You don’t have the right to easily intrude on our narrative. Not just us, but other artists as well, we are not your items. I hope you don’t think you can use and enjoy us as you please.
All our physical energy is drained even just from one week of music show promotions. Despite also handling advertisements, events, performances, and other scheduled activities meanwhile, there are many colleagues these days who greet me warmly with a smile even more than I do. Whenever that happens, I smile and greet them back. This is all I can do for them.
When they greet me with a bright smile, that single moment is precious and grateful, and even a seemingly formal greeting followed by a single line of a colleague’s message written in the album they give me provides me strength when I’m exhausted. I just hope everyone can work without getting hurt and stay healthy.
I also like the challenge culture. Whether we are close or not, creating a challenge video together, dancing to each other’s songs in a place other than the stage, is beautiful when we are in the prime of our youth, creating even a small memory together. It’s even better if fans enjoy watching it. Even if we don’t know each other, I like that we can exchange a small word of encouragement to each other saying, “Hwaiting (gain strength) for promotions,” within the awkward and embarrassing atmosphere at the end of the shoot.
Meeting with respect and being able to help even a little is meaningful and something to be thankful for.
I need to make an effort first, but I hope we can all be a little warmer. Watching with warmth, supporting, loving, if we treat each other warmly, maybe things might get a little better. I really don’t want to see anyone breaking down and eventually giving up. I sincerely hope we stop giving wounds we can’t take responsibility for. I don’t want to see my members, all my colleagues who are working hard right now, the staff who have sincerely worked for us, and our fans getting hurt anymore. To the fans who are loving us warmly even at this moment, I want to say I’m sorry and I love you.
Handwritten letter from Haewon (NMIXX):
I believe that there is nothing more challenging and meaningful than bringing laughter and joy to people.
In that sense, you seem to share countless gifts with people both as an artist and also with your appearances on variety shows.
Your music in particular has had a significant impact on me.
It has been a source of motivation, empathy, memories, and also comfort at times.
This was possible because you approached everything with genuine sincerity. I hope to grow to the point where I can also share my sincerity with someone one day. Please watch over me until then.
Thank you.
From Haewon to Boo Seungkwan sunbaenim
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