Daleko u nama #22
Serbo-Croatian Poetry Translation got involved in a Translation Game together with Ricarda Vidal, to explore the meanings of translation, interpretation, illustration and response. See some of the interesting, beautiful and unexpected results below. And enjoy!
P.S. Translation Games struck again, this time at the University of Lancaster, with more interpretations and reinterpretations of Popa's poem - see the latest here.
Danka Dimitrijevic's explanation behind her translation from the original poem into photography:
"Above all, it’s important to note that the photo came about in a Parisian flea market where old items are endowed with the energy of their former owners; where on the stands (or “In shop windows”) objects mingle with history. Then there’s Paris, questionably itself a symbol of love. Furthermore, the quality of the photo does not conform to today’s standards but suggests a more distant past.The mere title of the poem “Far Within Us” permeates the various elements of the photo. These are very archetypal – especially the knowledge that deep within ourselves we are all children. Yet some of the objects are intended for personal use and may carry sentimental value, like the framed photo or the little box with a mirror.The two children in the photo represent the two parts of the green apple, one part boy and one part girl. The girl directs her gaze at us while the boy amuses himself with other things. The cold tone of the scene mirrors the “blind sun”.
The apparent forced distance (“torn-apart hug”) and lack of communication (“I don’t hear you”) are reflected by the objects in the photo which are deaf to one another, although still together create a harmony of composition. Similarly, the disconnection between the girl and the boy suggests “deaf air” between them.
In the first part of the poem, the children (who will become adults) play the main part and the photo captures the symbolism of the two sexes caught in their eternal misapprehension.
The second part of the poem, then, relates to the wedding dress as a symbol of realised love, though in this case something unrealised: the dress hangs lifeless and without a corresponding male suit, hung like a judgement and without hope of realisation of a happy dream. Indeed, “I gave you my hand” alludes directly to a marriage proposal and the desire to be with someone."
22
Naš dan je zelena jabuka
Na dvoje presečena
Gledam te
Ti me ne vidiš
Između nas je slepo sunce
Na stepenicama
Zagrljaj naš rastrgnut
Zoveš me
Ja te ne čujem
Između nas je gluhi vazduh
Po izlozima
Usne moje traže
Tvoj osmeh
Na raskrsnici
Poljubac naš pregažen
Ruku sam ti dao
Ti je ne osećaš
Praznina te je zagrlila
Po trgovima
Suza tvoja traži
Moje oči
Uveče se dan moj mrtav
S mrtvim tvojim danom sastane
Samo u snu
Istim predelom hodamo
Ricarda Vidal’s translation from the English translation into German:
Weit in uns #22
Unser Tag ist ein grüner Apfel
Zweigeteilt
Ich schau dich an
Du siehst mich nicht
Zwischen uns steht eine blinde Sonne
Auf der Treppe
Unsere zerrissene Umarmung
Du rufst mich
Ich hör dich nicht
Zwischen uns steht taube Luft
In den Schaufenstern
Suchen meine Lippen
Dein Lächeln
Auf der Kreuzung
Unser überfahrener Kuss
Ich gab dir meine Hand
Du fühlst sie nicht
Die Leere hat dich umarmt
Auf den Stadtplätzen
Sucht deine Träne
Meine Augen
Am Abend trifft mein toter Tag
Deinen toten Tag
Nur im Traum
Laufen wir durch dieselben Felder
(übersetzten von Ricarda Vidal)
Pietro Reviglio's translation from Danka Dimitrijevic and Vasko Popa:
Snapshots of the participants' translations
Translation of Pietro’s image
by Anna Mace:
Shepard’s Scale
Shy of the sound of the Kijimuna’s ancient song,
Mars conversed inaudibly with the moon.
You could feel past darkening deep,
the light criss-crossing, encoding
the shadows, in whispers. On,
on and up, so high, it was
an endless ladder
to the sky, and I
step forward, witnessing worlds there, halfway
down. Watch old man Hiro, grey and black,
bent double, a question mark
against the earth, refract
the perfect symmetry of
yin and yang. His trembling
hand, in static time, feeds the park wild cats,
whilst the crows seem to float, like musical notes
on telephone
wires; caw prophetically.
You stole answers from prints
on pages, pivoting our rose-tinted
memories between the staves. Fingers
smear possibility into fact, the way we read
these lines like tea leaves. Or track flight patterns
of migratory birds, so sure we can compose this all ourselves.
An excerpt from an email by Anna talking about her translation:
“It was a challenging image to translate, as the piece was so abstract but I thoroughly enjoyed it. As I was travelling around Okinawa for the last week or so, this did have some influence on the poem (i.e. the Kijimuna spirits who live in the Banyan trees on the island). I was also keen to create a very symmetrical form for the poem as this was so distinctive in the images for me – I think the black and white imagery and the balance of form was also strongly evident and lent itself to symbolic ideas like the ‘yin and yang’ and metaphorical imagery such as the ‘crows’ as well as abstract imagery including; musical notation (staves), patterns and flight, amongst others.”
Translation of Pietro’s image
by Matt Cooper:
Far away
We walk you and I
under a far-away sky
Through knee-length grass
With pinpricks of dew
Dappling our boots
Past the carcasses of trees
Reclined and spent
Hedgerows distressed and bent
riven with the first shards of sun
like scratches on glass
Our laughter Staccato
Like the beat of a drum
Until we stop. Stare in silence
At a landscape cussed and bare
The only sound wind
Like an undulating sigh
Hidden away, entombed, you and I
...email us (SC.POETRYTRANSLATION@GMAIL.COM) to submit further translations and translations of translations!