Daleko u nama #22

Serbo-Croatian Poetry Translation got involved in a Translation Game together with Ricarda Vidal, to explore the meanings of translation, interpretation, illustration and response. See some of the interesting, beautiful and unexpected results below. And enjoy! 

P.S. Translation Games struck again, this time at the University of Lancaster, with more interpretations and reinterpretations of Popa's poem - see the latest here

Danka Dimitrijevic's explanation behind her translation from the original poem into photography: 

"Above all, it’s important to note that the photo came about in a Parisian flea market where old items are endowed with the energy of their former owners; where on the stands (or “In shop windows”) objects mingle with history. Then there’s Paris, questionably itself a symbol of love. Furthermore, the quality of the photo does not conform to today’s standards but suggests a more distant past.The mere title of the poem “Far Within Us” permeates the various elements of the photo. These are very archetypal – especially the knowledge that deep within ourselves we are all children. Yet some of the objects are intended for personal use and may carry sentimental value, like the framed photo or the little box with a mirror.The two children in the photo represent the two parts of the green apple, one part boy and one part girl. The girl directs her gaze at us while the boy amuses himself with other things. The cold tone of the scene mirrors the “blind sun”.

The apparent forced distance (“torn-apart hug”) and lack of communication (“I don’t hear you”) are reflected by the objects in the photo which are deaf to one another, although still together create a harmony of composition. Similarly, the disconnection between the girl and the boy suggests “deaf air” between them.

In the first part of the poem, the children (who will become adults) play the main part and the photo captures the symbolism of the two sexes caught in their eternal misapprehension.

The second part of the poem, then, relates to the wedding dress as a symbol of realised love, though in this case something unrealised: the dress hangs lifeless and without a corresponding male suit, hung like a judgement and without hope of realisation of a happy dream. Indeed, “I gave you my hand” alludes directly to a marriage proposal and the desire to be with someone."

22

Naš dan je zelena jabuka 

Na dvoje presečena 

Gledam te 

Ti me ne vidiš 

Između nas je slepo sunce 

Na stepenicama 

Zagrljaj naš rastrgnut 

Zoveš me 

Ja te ne čujem 

Između nas je gluhi vazduh 

Po izlozima 

Usne moje traže 

Tvoj osmeh 

Na raskrsnici 

Poljubac naš pregažen 

Ruku sam ti dao 

Ti je ne osećaš 

Praznina te je zagrlila 

Po trgovima 

Suza tvoja traži 

Moje oči 

Uveče se dan moj mrtav 

S mrtvim tvojim danom sastane 

Samo u snu 

Istim predelom hodamo

Ricarda Vidal’s translation from the English translation into German:

Weit in uns #22

Unser Tag ist ein grüner Apfel

Zweigeteilt

Ich schau dich an

Du siehst mich nicht

Zwischen uns steht eine blinde Sonne

Auf der Treppe

Unsere zerrissene Umarmung

Du rufst mich

Ich hör dich nicht

Zwischen uns steht taube Luft

In den Schaufenstern

Suchen meine Lippen

Dein Lächeln

Auf der Kreuzung

Unser überfahrener Kuss

Ich gab dir meine Hand

Du fühlst sie nicht

Die Leere hat dich umarmt

Auf den Stadtplätzen

Sucht deine Träne

Meine Augen

Am Abend trifft mein toter Tag

Deinen toten Tag

Nur im Traum

Laufen wir durch dieselben Felder

(übersetzten von Ricarda Vidal)

Pietro Reviglio's translation from Danka Dimitrijevic and Vasko Popa:

Snapshots of the participants' translations

Translation of Pietro’s image 

by Anna Mace:

Shepard’s Scale

Shy of the sound of the Kijimuna’s ancient song,

Mars conversed inaudibly with the moon.

You could feel past darkening deep,

the light criss-crossing, encoding

the shadows, in whispers. On,

on and up, so high, it was

an endless ladder

to the sky, and I

step forward, witnessing worlds there, halfway

down. Watch old man Hiro, grey and black,

bent double, a question mark

against the earth, refract

the perfect symmetry of

yin and yang. His trembling

hand, in static time, feeds the park wild cats,

whilst the crows seem to float, like musical notes

on telephone

wires; caw prophetically.

You stole answers from prints

on pages, pivoting our rose-tinted

memories between the staves. Fingers

smear possibility into fact, the way we read

these lines like tea leaves. Or track flight patterns

of migratory birds, so sure we can compose this all ourselves.

An excerpt from an email by Anna talking about her translation:

“It was a challenging image to translate, as the piece was so abstract but I thoroughly enjoyed it. As I was travelling around Okinawa for the last week or so, this did have some influence on the poem (i.e. the Kijimuna spirits who live in the Banyan trees on the island). I was also keen to create a very symmetrical form for the poem as this was so distinctive in the images for me – I think the black and white imagery and the balance of form was also strongly evident and lent itself to symbolic ideas like the ‘yin and yang’ and metaphorical imagery such as the ‘crows’ as well as abstract imagery including; musical notation (staves), patterns and flight, amongst others.”

Translation of Pietro’s image

by Matt Cooper:

Far away

We walk you and I

under a far-away sky

Through knee-length grass

With pinpricks of dew

Dappling our boots

Past the carcasses of trees

Reclined and spent

Hedgerows distressed and bent

riven with the first shards of sun

like scratches on glass

Our laughter Staccato

Like the beat of a drum

Until we stop. Stare in silence

At a landscape cussed and bare

The only sound wind

Like an undulating sigh

Hidden away, entombed, you and I

...email us (SC.POETRYTRANSLATION@GMAIL.COM) to submit further translations and translations of translations!