Ward 42

Ewan Povey MA Scriptwriting Ward 42 Pg1

1 int. red lit bedroom night

ALAN A young man in his early twenties applies eye shadow, then a studded collar. His hair is dyed black and combed up in a wave. He looks at two tickets, to see the Manic Street Preachers. He takes out his mobile phone and dials.

ALAN

Alright Sally. Where are we meeting? What do you mean you’re not coming? What fireman? The Verve! What the fuck do you wanna go see the Verve for? Tell you what, don’t even bother!

He slams down his mobile.

ALAN

She’s fucking ditched me for a fireman.

JOHN, Alan’s flatmate, knocks at the door.

JOHN

Wasup?

ALAN

The bitch!

John rocks his head back and grins.

ALAN

Wha’ am I gonna do? I fuckin’ love ‘er.

JOHN

You don’t love her. You think you do, but really it’s just infatuation.

ALAN

John. We’ve been shagging for six months. I don’t call that infatuation.

John just shrugs.

2 int. off licence night

Alan buys a two litre bottle of cider.

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3 ext. Oxford Road night

Alan walks down the road swigging from a half drunk bottle of cider, listening to his stereo. He starts to sing.

ALAN

We don’t talk about love!

A passing Scally takes offence.

SCALLY

Shut the fuck up, div’, before I give ya a fuckin’ smack

ALAN

That’s just temporary man.

SCALLY

What the fuck’re you getting’ at?

ALAN

Nothing…

SCALLY

Yeah, we’ll keep it that way!

He struts off. Alan pulls a face and has a swig.

4 ext. Trinity Way night

Alan squats down by a road sign indicating Salford Precinct. He holds his bottle upside down, proving it is empty.

ALAN

Bitch!

He slaps his forehead, then his eyes narrow.

ALAN

Fireman, eh?

He giggles an impish, pissed up laugh.

5 ext. derelict tower block night

A sign telling people not to enter for their own safety is torn down as Alan breaks open one of the boarded up windows of the tower block.

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    1. cont.

Inside is a lot of accumulated rubbish. Alan squirts lighter fluid over it all and lights a match.

6 ext. Churchill Way night

The tower burns while fire crews fight the blaze. Alan dances round and round with his eyes closed till he bumps into a policeman.

7 int. ward reception night

Two policemen flank Alan, while a nurse, TONY, interviews him. Alan is rather wild looking. Dressed in jeans and a brown jacket, he looks as if he hasn’t eaten in some time. Tony is a spry man in his thirties. He would be good looking were it not for too much alcohol and too many late shifts.

TONY

Name?

ALAN

Alan.

TONY

Surname?

ALAN

KING!

The policeman to the left puts his hand on Alan’s shoulder.

TONY

Next of kin?

ALAN

Joanne King.

TONY

Age?

ALAN

Twenty an’ a half.

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7 cont.

TONY

Religion?

ALAN

The bicycle!

8 int. smoking room night

TONY

You can smoke in here. Say hello to Alan, everyone!

Everyone says hello. Everyone being Jesus, Satan, Stalin, Tutankhamun, etc. Literally

JESUS

My son.

As Jesus speaks, a bell chimes and the air is filled with flowers, composed of b/w flowers. He is Irish.

SATAN

I’ll get you in the end.

STALIN

Comrade!

TUTANKHAMUN

May the Sun always bless your Nile! That’s Medea. She killed her children to spite her husband. A Hieroglyph.

He indicates a glowingly beautiful woman who is staring into space, caressing her teeth with her tongue. They go back to their cigarettes. Alan settles uncomfortably into a seat. His attention wanders to the television in the corner.

NEWSREADER

You! Yes, you! They’ll eat you alive in here.

Tony pops his head in.

TONY

Everyone alright?

NEWSREADER

Well, cats will be cats.

The screen shows a fireman up a tree.

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8 cont.

ALAN

Er, yeah.

TONY

Nice one.

Tony leaves as discreetly as he came.

NEWSREADER

ALIVE…

Alan gets out a bar of chocolate.

STALIN

Ooh! He has choklaat.

JESUS

I’d give some to Medea if I were you. Then she might not kill you in your sleep.

Mid lounge Medea fixes Alan with a look.

ALAN

I’ll leave it there.

9 int. toilet night

Alan steps into the cubicle with a cardboard hat-shaped thing. Tony is hot on his heels.

ALAN

Do you mind?

TONY

Uh?

ALAN

DO YOU MIND?

TONY

Oh. Right.

Tony takes a step back .

ALAN

Are you still there?

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9 cont.

Tony steps out of the cubicle, but holds the door open.

ALAN

If you’re that fucking keen, do it your fucking self.

10 int. smoking room night

ALAN

I need a fag.

He breaks one out and lights it. He starts to sing in a guttural voice.

ALAN

Poison gas and bulldozers!

Tony motions to Alan.

TONY

Alan! Could I have a word?

11 int. corridor night

TONY

Look. About, about the urine sample.

ALAN

Look. Fuck off!! If you’re not ready to apologise, fuck off!

TONY

Calm down, Alan.

ALAN

Don’t fucking tell me to calm down! I hope you die. I hope your mother dies. I hope everyone you care about dies.

Suddenly the hall fills with nurses. They pounce on Alan and hold him down.

TONY

50ccs of Pytreodactylizine and Tyrannadone.

ALAN

Rapists!

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1 cont.

They pull down Alan’s jeans and stick two needles in his backside. This done, they let go of Alan and stand back. Alan walks along the row of them, pointing his finger in their faces.

ALAN

Rapist! Rapist! Rapist!

They look uncomfortable.

ALAN

Can I use the phone?

TONY

Sure.

Alan fishes out a pound, puts it in the pay phone and dials.

ALAN

Mum. I’m in a mental hospital. … What do you mean, you could have guessed? Listen! Tell this lot that they’re rapists.

Alan hands the phone to Tony and stalks off. Before he has taken a few steps he sinks to the floor and passes out.

12 int. shadow world night

Alan staggers through a world of shadows, of people with no faces. He hears the deep, masculine voice of DR TAURUS.

DR TAURUS

Hello, Alan. My name is Dr Taurus. I am the consultant here. You’ve already met Tony, the staff nurse and of course, your mother, Joanne King. You do recognise your mother, don’t you, Alan? Well, we are here to tell you that you have been sectioned. In this instance, that means you will be kept here for observation for up to six months. Do you understand?

13 int. dormitory day

Alan wakes, somewhat groggy. He climbs out of bed and gets dressed. Satan, who has extremely red skin and is wearing an equally red Adidas tracksuit top skips up and down on his hooves, over to Alan

SATAN

Psst1 Want some tickets?

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13 cont.

ALAN

Let’s have a look! What are they?

SATAN

Wait a minute! We’ve got to agree a price.

ALAN

Price? I don’t even know what they are yet. Wait a minute! Those are

my Manics tickets. You shit!

Satan skips off on his goat-like legs, laughing. Alan sets off in pursuit but soon finds himself dragged to earth, as if by an irresistible force. He pursues Satan on his hands and knees. Satan continues to skip around him, laughing hysterically.

ALAN

Mad, fucking bastard!

SATAN

Mad? I’m not the one walking like a dog!

Tony pops his head around the door.

TONY

So, you’re getting Parkinsonisms I see, Alan. We’ll have to fix you up with some Brontosauradine.for that.

ALAN

Uh?

13a int. smoking room day

Alan is desperately trying to roll a cigarette. Medea levitates her way into a chair.

MEDEA

Why are you fighting?

ALAN

I really need a smoke.

MEDEA

The nurses

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13A cont.

ALAN

I need to get out. My girlfriend’s run off with a fireman.

MEDEA

I know. But you’ll never get out of here. It doesn’t matter how brilliant you are at pretending to be well. Look at Zeus! He’s a god, for Christ’s sake.

She indicates a corpulent figure in a toga, who is gaping blankly at the wall.

MEDEA

I’ve got my eye on you. You’re the heroic type. I have a thing about heroes.

She licks her lips and glowers coldly. Alan shivers in horror.

14 int. interview room day

This tiny room contains three chairs, around a desk.

TONY

Try to sit still, Alan.

ALAN

Can’t.

TONY

Dr Taurus will prescribe you something for it.

ALAN

He’d better.

TONY

Try not to be so…

ALAN

What?

TONY

…confrontational.

ALAN

I’ll be how I fuckin’

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14 cont.

Alan is stunned into silence by the appearance of Dr Taurus, who despite wearing a shirt and tie, is in fact a fully grown bull, who walks on two feet, with a ring through his nose.

DR TAUNUS

Good Afternoon.

ALAN

Fuckin’ Bull…

TONY

That’s not very nice, Alan.

ALAN

No! He’s a fuckin’ bull.

TONY

That’s not a very nice thing to say about someone with a weight problem.

DR TAURUS

That’s alright, Tony. Let’s forget about it and get down to business. Now Alan, how are you feeling?

ALAN

I need to get out of here. I’ve got to see my girlfriend. She’s running off with a fireman.

DR TAURUS

Well, I’m afraid we can’t let you leave here until we’re sure that you’re safe to be left on your own and on the road to recovery. Now, tell me, do you hear voices?

15 int. smoking room day

Alan sits dejectedly smoking a roll-up.

STALIN

Comrade.

Alan grunts. All around Stalin is in black and white. Like an old photo.

STALIN

You cannot let this Gulag crush your proletarian spirit.

Ewan Povey MA Scriptwriting WARD 42 Pg11

ALAN

What’re you on about.

STALIN

In the Gulags I created, men were truly crushed. Yet when the news reached them of my death, they still could throw their hats in the air in celebration.

ALAN

So?

STALIN

You’re very impatient. Reminding me of Revisionist Trotsky. Let me get ice pick.

ALAN

I’m sorry. Go on!

STALIN

Blood boiling…must control self, Stalin. Only if you get out can you crush your enemies. To get out you must stay calm and get well…

ALAN

You were talking about Gulags…

STALIN

Korekt, Komrade.

ALAN

The point was?

STALIN

There is only one way into Siberia and one way out. That is to crush the system.

ALAN

You’re not making much sense.

STALIN

Apologies. It’s the vodka.

ALAN

You have vodka?

STALIN

Only for leader of Revolution. You want vodka? You prove yourself to the working class.

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15 cont.

Alan is crestfallen, but perks up suddenly.

ALAN

Yeah! The working class. These wankers have been shitting on us for too long. It’s time somebody stood up and was counted.

STALIN

Da! Da! Da!

Alan stands up and sits back down again, breathless, due to his medication.

ALAN

Yeah! It’s like this medication business. Who are they to tell us what drugs we can and can’t take?

STALIN

Da!

Jesus speaks with an Irish accent and gives off psychedelic colours.

JESUS

Hell ? Sorry Father.

God speaks from above. He sounds like JB.

GOD

You are forgiven my son. Huh!

TUTANKHAMUN

How horribly true.

Tutankhamun has a honeyed voice and gestures with his slender hands. The air around him dances with hieroglyphs.

ALAN

I will start a resistance to these Fascists.

STALIN

Counter-revolutionaries.

ALAN

Yeah. What he said.

JESUS

How’re you going to do it, Alan?

TUTANKHAMUN

Yes, dear boy, are you going to humble these brutes?

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15 cont.

ALAN

I’m going to strike fear into their hearts. I’m going to hit them where it hurts. I’m going straight to the ballot box.

16 int. corridor day

Alan steps along the corridor, pacing from one end to the other. Tony passes by, looking over some notes.

TONY

Asphasia, Alan?

ALAN

Uh?

TONY

Restless.

ALAN

Yup!

TONY

Well, give it time.

Medea glides into the corridor, her feet not touching the ground. Her hair is red, black and voluminous, as is her makeup. Her voice is less of a purr and more of a growl.

MEDEA

You’re my hero.

ALAN

Thanks.

MEDEA

I hate heroes.

ALAN

Oh!

Medea licks her lips.

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17 int. dormitory night

Stalin and Alan have made a tent on Alan’s bed. Under the covers and by torchlight they hold council.

STALIN

Forget about ballot. Use bullet.

ALAN

But there’s so many of them, and I’m only slender.

STALIN

They are few. We are many. If we all spit together, they vill drown.

ALAN

So, if I can get everyone going.

STALIN

Da!

ALAN

How do I do that?

STALIN

Komrade Lenin, when he coughs, we had Revolution in Russia. We made lots of noise and soon everyone follow us.

ALAN

What happened then?

Stalin becomes flustered.

STALIN

Vell, let’s cross this bridge ven ve come to it.

18 int. dining room day

Everyone is eating their chocolate sponge and custard. Alan sidles in and looks from side to side, shiftily. Tony, who is stood in one corner, looking at his nails, narrows his eyes and looks at Alan.

ALAN

Help! Help!

People look up reluctantly.

ALAN

Help! Help! I’ve been robbed.

18 Cont WARD 42 pg15

Chairs squeak as everyone turns.

ALAN

Robbed of my dignity by the Mental Health System.

He pounds his fist into his hand.

ALAN

I say to you people, how long are we going to stand for them running our lives?

MEDEA

They like having their lives run.

ALAN

Eh?

MEDEA

They like it. They don’t want to look after themselves.

ALAN

Look. If you don’t mind.

TONY

Calm down Alan.

Alan skulks away.

CUT TO:

19 INT DORMITORY NIGHT

ALAN

Will I ever get out of here or is this to be continued.

CUT TO BLACK