Teaist Manifesto
Betty's of Harrogate: Teaism, Class & T'Revolution.
(A response to a question by Alis Kay)
Comrade. Your question was so serious and crucial to our struggle that it required greater reflection than the moment allowed. I felt that an ill thought out answer could compromise the Teatariat in the very womb of its vanguard, Apologies are not necessary between serious teavolutionaries but still manners have their place around the café table of history that we share First of all let me put the kettle on...Ahh that's better...First of all let me outline the response of the Petit bourgeois teaist to this question. Struggling under an inferiority complex born of his irrelevance to the historical process of infusion that is taking place within the teatariat, the Petit bourgeoisis teavolutionist tries to compensate by aiming his artillery at Betty's of Harrogate for its classe moyen approach to tea. That he does this to cover for his own feelings is entirely transparent. But we must not indulge ourselves and our sense of amusement at his expense, for truly time is money, and money is tea. Let us move on to a dissection of the teacake which is Betty's. A true teavolutionist does not make the following errors.
Teavolutionists do not mistake class struggle for sexism, ageism and homophobia. That fact that Betty's is full of middle aged bachelors and their elderly mothers is not a reason for concern to hot beverage class.
They do not, on the other hand cede leadership of the historical infusion to le classe money.
They do not mistake the Vatican of tea and its interests for that of consciouss activity of le classe the au lait.
They do not fall into the trap of the slogan ' All proper tea is theft.' the intelligentsia may have a taste for herbal tea, but while this is quite proper for a group with their relationship to the means of brewing up it is unrealistic and utopian in the extreme to expect this to be an effective platform for T'International.
Under Teaism, le classe the au lait would seize Betty's as a matter of course and would run it with much more humour and style, but it is adventurist to think about doing this in a substitutionist manner when most ordinary teaists are still preoccupiedied with the day to day struggle to 'get a pint of milk' and 'pop the kettle on will ya.'
Finally I would say that the crucial point is not that we seek to politicise tea but that we seek to teacise politics.
Chairman Povey (Teaist-Lenninist)
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