Son of Leeds
SON OF LEEDS
If you're a son of Leeds
And a poetical un
Then remember this is Leeds son
Your work has just begun
It'l take resolve
And grit
It'l snow a bit
It'l rain like shit
The sun won't shine on you son
But you'll have fun
When work is again begun
You'll have tea and a bun
The doctor'll tell you to run
But you'll walk
People will talk
You'll learn to talk like an ork
People wont know what you're talking about
But they'll know what you're about
You're a poet
And they'll know it
By your unwashed hair
And laugh without a care
You won't have a car
But you'll travel far
On fooot
booty will be your loot
You'll be a liar like orpheus
You'll hate computers like morpheus
You'll have a fertile imagination
A chip on your shoulder like a client nation
You'll hate exposure
But seek the limelight like a poser
You'll live in cold pads
Make friends and enemies amongst the mads
You'll eat cod like rod
Do T.I.E at agnes stewart
Your friends will say they always knew it
When you get a little fame
But you'll remeber the pain
Leeds won't stay the same
So you'll seem more conservative
Even though you insist on food without preservative
The young people will have new slang
But you'll still think you're nang
you'll look a fool
But won't care
Cos you'll rool
Be hypocrites worst knightmare
Call cameron a tool
So rest now son of Leeds
And see to your basic needs
Food and water
Is what you oughta
Take while you can
Dont worry about cannes
The whole worlds a film festival
Give your best to Val
And Danny and Nidge
Keep veg in your fridge
In your semi lucid dreams
Have no doubt
You have crossed the great water
Crossed the great streams
Done what you oughta
With resolve and perseverance
Across the river aire
You made an appearance
Glory. glory, glory hallelulha
The people of this town knew ya
This town grew ya
This aint the land a cotton
But land where wool was begotten
Ewe is a warrior
A warrior is not new
It's what these hills always knew
Go to battle
Write a letter to John Battle
The enemy will strike you down
But wear not a frown
Just relax
In your dressing gown
Your quiet resolve
Will not dissolve
By the activity
Of non-locality
In quantum mechanics
You will protect your locality
And make friends with a quantity of drunken mechanics
And plumbers
And bummers
People will call you homophobic
But you'll be homostrobic
You'll flash for cash
Then run to your doctor in a flash
Maybe you'll flush
But that'll be the day
The blush function
Will kick in if you recieve extreme unction
For gods sake
Dont be a fake
Films you'll make
Hearts you will break
But the piss dont take
For this and more you must make ready
For the worst make preperation
As for the rest, rest on medication
And meditation
Leeds is the centre of the multiverse
God doesnt rehearse
He just spits a verse
Don't be terse
Dont reject your calling like a curse
Realise your worth
And the worth of the town that gave you birth
Ewan Povey Jan 2010