Son of Leeds

SON OF LEEDS

If you're a son of Leeds

And a poetical un

Then remember this is Leeds son

Your work has just begun

It'l take resolve

And grit

It'l snow a bit

It'l rain like shit

The sun won't shine on you son

But you'll have fun

When work is again begun

You'll have tea and a bun

The doctor'll tell you to run

But you'll walk

People will talk

You'll learn to talk like an ork

People wont know what you're talking about

But they'll know what you're about

You're a poet

And they'll know it

By your unwashed hair

And laugh without a care

You won't have a car

But you'll travel far

On fooot

booty will be your loot

You'll be a liar like orpheus

You'll hate computers like morpheus

You'll have a fertile imagination

A chip on your shoulder like a client nation

You'll hate exposure

But seek the limelight like a poser

You'll live in cold pads

Make friends and enemies amongst the mads

You'll eat cod like rod

Do T.I.E at agnes stewart

Your friends will say they always knew it

When you get a little fame

But you'll remeber the pain

Leeds won't stay the same

So you'll seem more conservative

Even though you insist on food without preservative

The young people will have new slang

But you'll still think you're nang

you'll look a fool

But won't care

Cos you'll rool

Be hypocrites worst knightmare

Call cameron a tool

So rest now son of Leeds

And see to your basic needs

Food and water

Is what you oughta

Take while you can

Dont worry about cannes

The whole worlds a film festival

Give your best to Val

And Danny and Nidge

Keep veg in your fridge

In your semi lucid dreams

Have no doubt

You have crossed the great water

Crossed the great streams

Done what you oughta

With resolve and perseverance

Across the river aire

You made an appearance

Glory. glory, glory hallelulha

The people of this town knew ya

This town grew ya

This aint the land a cotton

But land where wool was begotten

Ewe is a warrior

A warrior is not new

It's what these hills always knew

Go to battle

Write a letter to John Battle

The enemy will strike you down

But wear not a frown

Just relax

In your dressing gown

Your quiet resolve

Will not dissolve

By the activity

Of non-locality

In quantum mechanics

You will protect your locality

And make friends with a quantity of drunken mechanics

And plumbers

And bummers

People will call you homophobic

But you'll be homostrobic

You'll flash for cash

Then run to your doctor in a flash

Maybe you'll flush

But that'll be the day

The blush function

Will kick in if you recieve extreme unction

For gods sake

Dont be a fake

Films you'll make

Hearts you will break

But the piss dont take

For this and more you must make ready

For the worst make preperation

As for the rest, rest on medication

And meditation

Leeds is the centre of the multiverse

God doesnt rehearse

He just spits a verse

Don't be terse

Dont reject your calling like a curse

Realise your worth

And the worth of the town that gave you birth

Ewan Povey Jan 2010