Muttered Excuses

To all the women

In my life

From whom I walked away

Who did not become my wife

In my muttered excuses

And evasions

This is what I was trying to say

I want you and love you

So much that it hurts

But I desperately

Don't want to hurt you

And I will

I will take the best years

Of your life

Then cast you aside

Either that or I will leave you

Through an act of suicide

I am unable to give you children

Least not ones I can raise

Neither can I show you a time

In nightclubs full of gays

I cant take you travelling

Cos my life is unravelling

I don't want your help

I must save myself

He must do that

Which he must do

He that be a man

And neither marriage

Nor callous fornication

Is part of the plan

In short

I am desperate that you find

Happiness

To do that you must leave me

Behind

And let me answer the struggles

In my mind

My life will not lack love

For even a moment

With just you

Is like an eternity

Of sweet dew

But the responsibility

To solve my shit

Lies with me

Not with you

I will always love you

If only you knew

Povey 2014