Discharged

Straight?

Hmm stretching it...

Bi?

More like sell...

Gay?

Very sadly burdened by more carnal knowledge than I would like...

Kinky?

Haha yeah probably but horribly afraid of cliche and insincerity...

In love?

Always, always, always

Afraid?

Oh yes...

Making history in the bedroom?

Perhaps a footnote...

A father?

God

A mother?

Bad

What are you in the final analysis?

Discharged

Povey 2013