When I Completely Let Go

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“When I Completely Let Go!!”

My restoration all began when my marriage started falling apart! My husband and I were not communicating at all, and I was terrible to hold grudges for a long time—very unforgiving! We hardly spent any time together, and we were like roommates who hated living together.

But under all the unhappiness I loved him, and never realized he was going to leave me! I was blind to the destruction that was happening in our marriage! My husband left me for another woman he met through his business. He told me he was divorcing me and no longer loved me.

I found RMI while surfing the web, but didn't look into the fellowship the first time. It was a friend (through a prayer group) that brought me back to your website and convinced me to join. Erin's tapes kept me so encouraged—I listened to them in the car, at work, at home—all the time! The books were all wonderful too. The workbook and Restore Your Marriage are so important to help reveal changes you may need to make in your marriage and life. These are the best place to start!

I have two ePartners, one from before I was restored and one who is restored. They have both been very encouraging and supportive! They have helped boost me when I was down in certain circumstances, and reminded me to trust in the Lord. Thank the Lord for His direction and your ministry! I couldn't have come this far without your help!!

God began changing me and showing me all the mistakes I had made in my marriage. He showed me how damaging my unforgiveness was, and my hardened heart. He showed me how I never trusted my husband, or loved him and the children like he wanted me to—as Christ loved the church! God taught me how to love unconditionally, without being hurt by everything my husband was doing. He taught me how to see my husband through HIS eyes!

As I pressed into the Lord, seeking Him for answers and turning to Him for love, comfort, and support, I felt peace in my situation. I felt joy even though there was pain all around me! Things would turn around and work out in my favor most of the time, and if they didn't, I would praise God anyway—knowing it was for my good in some way! I found peace in all things, because I was living for Jesus and no longer living for myself or for my husband!!

God taught me to be a loving, peaceful wife. I learned to NOT BE a contentious woman! He showed me how to stop sneaking around looking through my husband's things for proof that he was not being faithful. I started to love my children and lead them to the Lord, learning to depend on Him for all our needs while the Lord led me and comforted me! I began to get out of my husband's way, and he started to lead our family!! I learned to be in agreement with him in all things.

God helped me through the divorce papers, just being able to read them and respond to my husband regarding all of his conditions (in which after learning RMI's principles, I agreed to whatever he wanted). He also helped me through the pain of having my husband move the other woman to our area—which hurt tremendously! I did not want her anywhere near me or my family!! But God had a plan, so I trusted Him, and continue to believe His word.

I believe that finally letting go was our turning point! It took a long time for me to quit calling him because we talked often about the kids, etc. Once I COMPLETELY let go, and handled everything on my own, he seemed to miss me more. He called often, he came over more, and spent more time with us! I believe it wasn't till then that I could see how much he was being drawn to me. That's when he began making many wonderful comments about us!

We were having lunch together when he told me he wanted to come home, but he didn't know how to tell the other woman! We cried and held each other!! He hurt over the pain he caused everyone involved and hurt over the pain he was going to cause the other woman when leaving her. It was another couple of weeks before he actually came home, due to the circumstances. It was actually another three months before he moved his things home.

My restoration was slow and full of trials, but I am very thankful to God for it! God knew it would happen just as He had planned!! I certainly grew more patience during this trial!!

~ Jana in Arkansas

“Thank God I found RMI !!”

In March, my husband left me intending to marry his "love." I sought help and prayer from Restore Ministries, and purchased the books and tapes to read and listen to. I was devastated!

However, I read the book and listened to the tapes daily. Then, praise the Lord just a couple of days before divorce was to be final, my husband canceled it! It was only the Lord who could have done this!! With in a few months, my husband returned home in —then, just 15 months later he left again.

As I sought the Lord I was able to get through the days, do my job, and attend to personal items. I did have a couple of accidents because I was so shaky and nervous. I ate sunflower seeds, but thankfully did not resort to more addictive things. I became more submissive minded and developed more patience. I was also able to continue my church music ministry and slept with my Bible (reading it until I fell asleep)—it was such a comfort!

As I sought the Lord, God began to change my situation! My husband began to call me and talk on the phone. I just kept telling him I loved him and gave him to God and I would keep on praying. At the point when "she" wanted just a weekly affair, he said “no” and the relationship was ended! He called me and we began seriously discussing his return!!

God taught me many principles that led to my restoration. I learned to spend more time in God's Word, in prayer, and learned to depend on the Lord for daily sustenance: of body and soul. At one point, I felt the Lord saying, "He'll be back." From that point on, I felt more positive about my restoration! I really became aware of the verses in the Bible about why a husband would want, or not want, his wife. I worked through the workbook about tearing my house down.

It was all so difficult, but God brought me through! My nerves were shattered, my stomach was twisted, and eating was a problem. For the first time in my life, I didn't want food! Supermarkets made me sick!!

When this all began, at the beginning of my restoration journey, I often cried during the church service, with tears running down my cheeks as I directed the choir.

The real turning point of my restoration had to have been when my husband canceled the divorce—and said his faith in prayer was renewed!

When my husband returned, he did not return to church for a time. It took six months, and then at Christmas time he came back to church. Yes, I wanted to shout about it all! The church people were friendly and welcomed his return. PRAISE THE LORD!!

Thank God I found you, RMI, when I was searching for help on line! Your resources helped and I would you recommend the RYM book, all your tapes and especially your workbook to everyone!

In my present situation, I know that not praying together as much, not reading the Bible together had played a big part in our "cooling off." I shall resume the RMI program and know that God can revive my restoration now. It is so important to keep God at the center of our lives, and follow His Word!

~ Eileen in Texas

“God is Sovereign—I Will Rest in Him!!”

Before the Lord directed me to RMI, I felt as if I was in complete darkness. I was afraid, anxious, bitter, angry, and I had a whole bunch of negative emotions. It seemed easier to hear the enemy's voice than the Lord's. My flesh seemed soooooo much stronger than my spirit.

I had heard the Lord talking at times but I didn't know how to put into place the things that He was telling me. It took a counselor telling me that she thought I was so depressed that I should take anti-depressants to finally get my attention! It took a crisis of faith and a deep search for what I really believed.

God helped me to surrender to Him by helping me see how to put some of what He had been telling me (all along) into action. His main words to me had been to walk in humility and to focus on my relationship with Him, not my non-relationship with my husband. He helped me to release my husband to Him. He strengthened me to let go of the contempt and bitterness that I had been nursing and allowing, which poisoned and confused me.

God changed my situation and I began to feel 100% better. I could interact with my husband without lashing out or withdrawing completely. He opened the eyes of my heart to learn more about His character and who I am as His child. Then my husband started to speak more kindly to me and to seek out interaction with me.

The Lord taught me that He is sovereign, and that if I believe that, I need to rest in Him. He taught me that the ways of the world are not His ways at all. He taught me that anything I meditate on that is not of Him is an idol against Him. That really shook me, because my heart's desire is to glorify and worship Him with my life.

The turning point of the restoration of my marriage was when my husband came over on Good Friday. He said that God had been working in his life. He told me that the Lord told him to ask people to pray for a miracle, so he did. He said that he knew our home was where he was supposed to be, and that he had bought the deception of the enemy, which is what caused him to leave. He said that he knew it would take time. God allowed me to tell my husband that I would give him all the time and grace he would need.

This is how my restoration happened: my husband's very nature toward me and about being in our home changed. He became more physically affectionate, he desired to hear what I had to say to him, and he began to share more with me. Over the course of a couple weeks, he gradually moved himself back into our home. It is glorious and all credit and glory to God!!!!

I found RMI through a dear gentleman from my church who had known about my situation. He was in a similar situation. One day in church he approached me and gave the website telling me that it had really ministered to him.

Your resources helped me to see what it looked like to act out what the Lord had been trying to get across to me. The Restore Your Marriage book was particularly helpful.

~ Lindsay in Ohio