He Came Back to Me

“He Came Back to Me”

How did your restoration actually begin? *

My EH was laid off from his job in the oilfield. We live in an energy state and the layoffs have been awful.

Not knowing what to do but not wanting to go into a dead end job, he sought guidance and came upon a mountaineering school. He has been fascinated with mountain climbing for a few years and this would give him the opportunity to do so and to learn even more and give him a chance at an amazing career as a mountain guide. He also wanted to get out of this place and away from a lot of hurtful people and things. I had encouraged him through the whole thing even when it seemed impossible and despite the fact that it would take him far away from us for possibly a long time. I just felt that it was God's will for him.

My house came crumbling down when my husband started talking to another woman because he said he felt lonely and unloved. He decided our marriage wasn't worth it anymore and chose to seek her attention more. I pleaded and fought for him to allow things to work out again but after finding out he was intimate with her I kicked him out. He got his own place and has gone through some trials with her in just a few short months. He seemed confused and missed me and wanted me, yet he said he still wanted her as well. We got along pretty well through it all when I found your ministry.

God gave me peace and comfort with the whole situation and drew me closer to Him. I have peace in knowing that my HL “Heavenly Love” will always be with me and take care of us while my EH is away. He softened my heart further and filled me with love and joy that I have been able to radiate to my husband and children.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), did the Lord teach you during this trial? *

Every principle that has been taught in the How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage, A Wise Woman, workers@home, and Finding the Abundant Life Course have been helpful through this whole journey. Learning to be a quiet and gentle spirit, patient, peaceful, loving, forgiving. To be a servant. To be obedient and subject to my husband. To seek my HL first and in everything. All of it, He has worked through me to change me and strengthen me.

Though it hurt to hear my EH wasn't feeling loved and felt like we didn't have anything in common, even saying he wanted his freedom to do what he wanted when he wanted without me being upset about it, it helped me find the truth.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through? *

The most difficult was watching my husband be with the OW, losing my job and only income, watching my husband suffer and lose his job and go through difficult trials that I could not help him with, and not knowing what my husband wanted or thought of me.

What was the “turning point” of your restoration? *

The turning point was as the time drew closer and closer to my husband leaving for the mountaineering school, he had been having to use all of his unemployment income to buy the expensive equipment. He said he couldn’t afford his bills or his rent and there was no purpose in paying for a place he will no longer need so he told me he needed a place to stay for a few weeks. The day he started to stay with us more and more, I noticed he slowly began to bring his things over. Soon he simply began to get closer and closer with me and with us as a family.

Tell us HOW it happened? Did your husband just walk in the front door? *

It has been happening slowly, and of course, as you say, it is not completely over since he still has plans to leave for his schooling, which will take him out of the country and away from us for long periods of time. But our restoration has begun, since God has moved him back in with us as a family, if only temporarily, but more importantly because he sees this home as his place to return in between. Since he initially moved back in out of necessity, he sees it more as home and where he will return on his breaks. Though at times he’s told us he’s here, unless he can find somewhere else he would rather we live, other times he has been talking about where "we" might live when he finishes school and how it will be like we are dating again.

Then last night, on our anniversary, we started talking about what "we are going to do". When he asked what I wanted and hoped for, I did a quick silent prayer and was honest. I told him I wanted to be able to cuddle with him, to love him and to be able to kiss him when he leaves and comes home, to just be his wife again in a new way, but that if he was not ready for that or not wanting that, that it was ok.I truly meant that and had full peace in my heart that whatever happens will be God's will. This morning when he left to go to the gym he stopped to give me a kiss and when he returned he brought the rest of his stuff from his house and told me he will need my truck for the rest of whatever he doesn't sell.

So far, he has not told me "I love you" but has always, through the whole separation, told me occasionally that he still loves me and always will. I would love to be able to tell him that I love him when he goes somewhere or before hanging up the phone, but I am comfortable in the love of my HH and don't need that to be happy or content in our relationship.

Did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored? *

I had a feeling that my husband was drawing closer, but wasn't sure that it would really happen before he left—giving me more time to learn more and be a better wife to him when he’s done with school.

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you? *

I absolutely recommend all the courses. And as I said, the How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage book, A Wise Woman, workers@home, and Finding the Abundant Life Course, also the Encourager newsletter. All of these resources have been such a tremendous blessing.

Do you have favorite Bible verses that you would like to pass on to women reading your Testimonies? Promises that He gave you?

John 14:27

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.

Romans 8:28

And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.

Matthew 19:26

And looking at them Jesus said to them, “With people this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

Psalm 37:4

Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart.

Isaiah 26:3 NLT

You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women? *

Absolutely!

What kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with in conclusion? *

No matter how things seem, keep your heart fixed on the Lord. Do not trust in what you see, hear, and even think. God is working all things for His glory and your good. Trust in Him and He will be faithful. Love HIM first and foremost and above all and no matter what happens He will give you peace through it all.

This is not the end, only the beginning of my restoration and I’m looking forward and am excited to continue my Restoration Journey to know and experience the Lord even more.