I was Pregnant—He wasn't the Father

“I was Pregnant—He wasn't the Father”

What brought you to RMI? Please use this space to briefly let our readers know what your life was like when you first found us, Valery, so our readers understand just what a miracle your restoration is.

Valery, how did your restoration actually begin?

My restoration journey actually began just a couple of months shy of 2 years ago. Both my husband and I committed adultery in our marriage several years back. I was the first to stray, then my husband retaliated against me, and got involved with the OW. During this time my husband left to another state to work, and I just followed him. I quit my job, got a new job, and tried doing everything I could think of to keep him at my side. He was so cold and distant. That was the most heart-wrenching time of my life, I felt so betrayed.

At the time I was so naive, not knowing that the other woman was actually still seeing him. They would travel the 4-hour drive, to see one another. When I found out, I confronted him and went into a rage. He told me that I could stay or go, but he would continue doing what he wanted.

At the time I was pregnant with my son. I didn't tell him he wasn't the father. I ran to God, not knowing where to turn, after not being able to find answers or peace amongst my family. Two months before giving birth to my son, I found out that the OW was pregnant too. I was devastated, but by the Grace of God, somehow I got through this. After my son was born, I was too busy for God and stopped praying.

Eventually, my husband left the OW, but we now had to deal with his daughter, with the OW.

Fast forward to two years ago. I thought we had forgiven each other, but my husband began distancing himself. I thought he may be involved with someone, but couldn't prove anything. He began blaming me for everything, including his involvement with the OW! He turned cold and refused to go anywhere with me.

Recently he was summoned to go to court for child support, which caused more strain in my marriage. My husband started coming and going, as he pleased. He also started drinking more. It was during this time that I began searching online for prayers, about pleading the blood of Jesus over my marriage, which led me to your website.

How did God change your situation Valery as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

Coming here is when everything changed. God helped me learn to trust Him, to lean on His understanding, not my own. I was so scared and afraid to trust Him, at first. I cried out to Him, mainly to restore my marriage, but at the same time, I was still trying to cling to my own ways. I continually read my bible, hoping and praying for God to change my husband, not knowing it was I, who needed to change.

After finding your site, I ended up finding out how prideful and contentious I really was. I repented of the ways I treated my husband. The courses and testimonies have really helped me see how wrong my thinking was. Not only was I focusing on his sin, but I was also dealing with feelings of guilt and shame as a result of my own sin.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Valery, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

Forgiveness. After finding this site, I started to question myself about truly forgiving and started praying for all of the people that have hurt me, letting go of the wrong they'd done to me.

I didn't trust what the world said about divorce or know what God's word was, but I knew in my heart that divorce wasn't for me. Through this site, I've discovered the knowledge of His promises, to stand on.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Valery?

I was determined to keep God in my heart and stay in my home, even when I felt that I was losing hope. I admit there were thoughts about me just up and leaving, but I would cast them down, and kept moving forward on my journey. I felt a lot of fear but knew that God didn't give me a spirit of fear, but of peace, love, and a sound mind. PTL!

Valery, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

It was actually unexpected, while my husband was gone after his grandmother died, he had no contact with me. He would call my children, but wouldn't ask to speak to me. I just let go and kept meditating on letting God restore.

Dear Brides, O taste and see How good our Beloved is. He wanted to remind you that He has your situation in total control! He knows the plans that He has for you, and what you are currently experiencing is uniquely designed for you so that you may experience His plans for hope, a future, and prosperity in Him. I want to encourage you to stop resisting and take refuge in our Almighty who is at work, actively ensuring that soon, at the "appointed time" when you are ready to begin to walk in the Abundant Live He is calling You to lead, then you too will be restored. I love you and will continue to pray for you all :)

Tell us HOW it happened Valery? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Valery, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

He came home on a Saturday, his flight came in late, and his friend picked him up. I didn't actually see him until Sunday, the next evening, after I was off work. He went back to his other house, that night, and stayed until Monday. On Tuesday he said he would be spending the night with "his" son. I was happy, but I told myself not to get my hopes up, to trust Him. I was ready to let him leave again if he chose to. I had recently watched Erin's, "Be Encouraged" videos, and in week 2, of the courses, I felt somewhat prepared for whatever happened. During the night, he came to my bed, and we were intimate. I didn't discourage him, or say anything, as if nothing had ever happened. He never left and it's been 10 months. Now we spend time with my son and his daughter who many think are twins.

Dear brides, read the testimonies and praise reports to renew your mind and see what the Lord has done in the lives of all women who trusted Him even when all seems to be so wrong and impossible. You will see that NONE was alone or ashamed because He is always faithful. What He did for them, He will do for you if you trust Him your life and decisions. This is a life journey and every step He takes you is to refine and make you a better bride, so you can enjoy your abundant life the way He perfectly planned.

Did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

I didn't suspect anything at all. God turned his heart at His appointed time! Glory to God!

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Valery?

How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage. And now I recommend Finding the Abundant Life Course. It is an excellent book to read. It is straight from the Lord's Word. It will not steer you wrong. The principles will help you in a favorable way. If it worked for these women and worked for me, it will work for you too. God is not a respecter of persons.

How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage also A Wise Woman. All of the By the Word of Their Testimonies, and going through online courses. Daily Encourager

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Finding the Abundant Life Course

HopeAtLast.com

Do you have favorite Bible verses, Valery, that you would like to pass on to women reading your Testimonies? Promises that He gave you?

“What God has joined together, let no man tear asunder.” Matthew 19:6

“No good deed will He withhold to those who walk uprightly.” Psalm 84:11

“Husbands should love their wives as they love their own bodies.” Ephesians 5:28

“Husbands should love their wives, as Christ loved the church, and gave himself up for her.” Ephesians 5:25

“For your Husband is your Maker, Whose name is the Lord of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth. For the Lord has called you, Like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, Even like a wife of one’s youth when she is rejected,' Says your God"–Isaiah 54:4-6

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Valery?

Yes

Either way Valery, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Don't allow the world to persuade you to give up on your marriage, that's the easy way out, anybody can do that. It takes a courageous woman, to stay, with God's help, and see your marriage restored. With God, all things are possible!. All the praise and glory. Thank you, Erin, and everyone working for this ministry. God bless you all!

Dear Brides, the Lord loves you with an everlasting love. His is waiting for you. All he requires is for us to follow his commandments. To obey, to listen, to all those that are in authority over us. We will gain favor with the Lord if we do this.