"Husband says 'I Need You'"

“Husband says ‘I Need You!’”

The troubles in my life began when I turned my heart away from the Lord. I put my EH first in my life and was also a contentious wife. Although my EH met me being overweight and loved me this way, he started to say I was too big for him. And as a result he began committing adultery and bringing other women into our home. At this point, the Lord had my full attention.

My Beloved brought me through many trials to break me and mold me into His image. Through these trials, he showed me His love and faithfulness. He even took me away from my home to be alone with me, to heal me of my heartache, and to teach me His principles from His Word. But the most important reason He removed me from my home (when my husband told me to leave) was so He would show me that He was my Heavenly Husband.

During my trials, the Lord taught me how to keep silent and that I should run to Him and no one else with all my problems and questions. He showed me how to be quiet in His presence, to spend more and more time with Him and in His word. My HH showed me how to let my EH take the lead, and the importance of keeping relationships with like-minded women.

The Restoration Journey lessons offered by Encouraging Women helped me to get through the more difficult times when my EH would bring the many different OWs to sleep over in our house. During this time, before He lovingly allowed me to move out, I had to be in the next bedroom, which was the hardest thing I had to do, but my HH helped me through it. Through each encounter, my HH was becoming my all in all.

The turning point of my restoration was when the Lord opened my eyes and showed me that there was no-one better than Him - not home, husband or children - all of these things had become idols to me. “For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread” (Psalm 6:26 NASB) which is what happened to my EH when the Lord took away his job - which was a major turning point of my restoration.

1 Corinthians 2 (NLT) says “When I first came to you, dear brothers and sisters, I didn’t use lofty words and impressive wisdom to tell you God’s secret plan. For I decided that while I was with you I would forget everything except Jesus Christ, the One who was crucified. I came to you in weakness—timid and trembling. And my message and my preaching were very plain. Rather than using clever and persuasive speeches, I relied only on the power of the Holy Spirit. I did this so you would trust not in human wisdom but in the power of God.

“Yet when I am among mature believers, I do speak with words of wisdom, but not the kind of wisdom that belongs to this world or to the rulers of this world, who are soon forgotten. No, the wisdom we speak of is the mystery of God-His plan that was previously hidden, even though He made it for our ultimate glory before the world began. But the rulers of this world have not understood it; if they had, they would not have crucified our glorious Lord. That is what the Scriptures mean when they say, 'No eye has seen, no ear has heard, and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love Him.' But it was to us that God revealed these things by His Spirit. For His Spirit searches out everything and shows us God’s deep secrets. No one can know a person’s thoughts except that person’s own spirit, and no one can know God’s thoughts except God’s own Spirit.

“And we have received God’s Spirit (not the world’s spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us. When we tell you these things, we do not use words that come from human wisdom. Instead, we speak words given to us by the Spirit, using the Spirit’s words to explain spiritual truths. But people who aren’t spiritual can’t receive these truths from God’s Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them and they can’t understand it, for only those who are spiritual can understand what the Spirit means. Those who are spiritual can evaluate all things, but they themselves cannot be evaluated by others. For, 'Who can know the Lord’s thoughts? Who knows enough to teach him?' But we understand these things, for we have the mind of Christ.”

Once I truly found Him as my Heavenly Husband and experienced Him the way He wanted, it was finally my time to write my RMT. My restoration had arrived!

His time is always perfect and we all know it! Yet it is not until we let go of everything and then become His are we truly ready.

Today I'm at home, precisely in the conservatory (sunroom or solarium in some countries). It's a beautiful sunny day and I'm surrounded by His peace and love. We all know the sentence: “There's no place like home” but the truth is “There is no place like being in the presence of the Lord!” I only can experience this peace because of Him as in this same place not long ago I experienced the worse days of my life. So I can say without reservations that we truly can trust Him when He says: “But where sin abounded, grace abounded much more, so that as sin reigned in death, even so grace might reign through righteousness to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” Romans 5:20

My Lord reigns! Even though some circumstances haven't changed yet, even though there's an enemy still prowling around me like a roaring lion, even through everything— My Lord reigns! My God reigns! My Redeemer reigns! My Heavenly Husband reigns! And He has control of everything in His mighty hands!!! He is the Almighty God, the King of kings and the Lord of lords and nothing is impossible to Him!

All the glory, honour, praise and worship to the Lord of hosts, Author and Finisher of our faith, my Heavenly Husband!

Beginning today, my Heavenly Husband is writing a new chapter in my journey.

After 1 year and 2 months living in a rented bedroom, alone with Him, He is revealing Himself to me, even more, in a lovely way, as I write my Restored Marriage Testimony.

“Jesus answered him, 'What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterwards you will understand’” (John 12:7)

As some of you know through “Sarah Edward: My Restoration Journey True Story Novel ebook” it was hard for me to leave my home behind and at that time I couldn't understand why the Lord had allowed it to happen. For months I struggled, still desiring to return home, missing my things, while letting the sorrow and pain dominate my thoughts and heart. I was blind at all the Lord was doing in my life. But in the middle of all this He never let me down. He always gave comfort, He always had a song to sing and bring with it His healing.

When a man is in love with a woman he does everything for her. He is nice, kind, gentle but also firm at times in order to protect her from evil. Slowly he conquers her heart with his attention, his sweet voice, holding her hands and being there for her all the time. He covers her with gifts, flowers and jewellery. Ladies this is what the Lord has done with me!

“I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself”(Jeremiah 31:3).

My healing came when the Lord took me on a vacation trip (called a holiday in the UK). He prepared everything so I could spend time with my mum and relatives in Brazil. Then, He touched my mums heart and she paid for everything!

But before my trip I still longed for my home and marriage restoration...that’s when He started to admonish me about it…

Convicted, I realized I had been ungrateful, I was listening to the accuser, thinking I was being punished by my Lord when He took me away from home but instead of this, He took me away to protect me, deliver me and to be alone with me in order to conquer my heart! I really couldn't see it at the time but now I can—I can see it so clearly! This is love ladies! He let me feel sorrow in order to heal me! He let me cry to wipe my tears! He took everything away so I could finally see Him!

I am learning that the Lord has His own pace and time to work on us and nothing is automatic. When my journey began here with RMI I really couldn't see me in love with the Lord or living with Him as my Husband like so many of the women I read about were already living. Yes, I loved the Lord as my God, Father, Provider, Comforter but not as my Husband. I knew He had to be my all in all, but I just couldn't get there! At some point I thought I would never have a deeper relationship with Him.

Now I know this is His job, not ours. God wants to mould us to be Jesus' brides. So He took me away to allow Him to conquer my heart and to reveal Himself to me. He was doing it on a daily basis, using whatever He needed to break me and turn my heart towards Him. Day after day, He was patiently covering me with His wings, flooding me with His love!

So if you are where I used to be, not knowing how to love the Lord as your Heavenly Husband, just trust Him, just rest in His promises and He will do the rest. He will do everything He needs to conquer your heart, He is already doing it because you're here!

My time away, my time in Brazil was amazing; He took care of every single detail. There I could hear His voice and see clearly how much He loves me and takes care of me. There, away from Wales, I could understand just how I needed just Him and life has no meaning if He is not in it as He longs to be.

When He had my heart He decided to take me back home. But guess what? I didn't want to go back anymore! I was so well looked after, because He supplied all my spiritual, emotional and financial needs! Because He was so kind, such a gentleman, I didn't want to return to where He took me away from.

Then it happened. One morning, while at my mum's in Brazil, I received an international call. It was my EH to tell me he had lost his job he’d had for 22 years! He was made redundant (called a layoff in USA or a “temporary suspension or permanent termination of employment for business reasons, such as when certain positions are no longer necessary or when a business slowdown occurs”). And this proved that the Lord has control of everything... my EH not only lost his job, but he lost it while I was in Brazil! So, according to his words, when he needed me the most I was away...

Yes ! I was with My HH on a honeymoon!!! The Lord's time is perfect!

While I was still living in a rented bedroom, my EH asked me to come back home several times, but then at the last minute he would change his mind. This was extremely painful but my Jesus used it every time for my good. At each opportunity, He used it to show me where my heart really was and also to heal me and make me come into His presence. Because of it happening so often, this time when he asked me, it didn't move me at all! I honestly didn't want to move back, but my EH was very firm.

Next fear came, trying to paralyse me... because I didn't have the courage to tell my landlady I was moving out again. I was shaking and very nervous but in the middle of this I heard His voice: “Do not fear, just trust in Me.”

“Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9b)

“He is not afraid of bad news; his heart is firm, trusting in the Lord”(Psalm 112:7).

Only after listening to His voice and receiving the grace He poured on me, could I give my notice. But the cords of fear were surrounding me in such a way that even though I had given notice one month before moving out, the day before the move, I still didn't have anything packaged! And I do have lots of stuff...

That’s because every single day of that month I was praying and asking the Lord to deliver me from my will, asking Him if wasn't His will for me to move back to please come to my rescue because He was better than any man, any husband, any home or children! I continued praising Him because He cares...“For He knows how weak we are; He remembers we are only dust.” (Psalm 103:14)

When I told a like-minded friend that my things weren't ready yet, the day before I was supposed to be moving she said: “You need to trust the Lord, you must remember what the Lord said: Do not fear, just trust in Me! He is your Husband, He will take care of you!!!”

Another verse my HH used to reassured me it was Him who was bringing me home was: “And if a believing woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to continue living with her, she must not leave him. For the believing wife brings holiness to her marriage, and the believing husband brings holiness to his marriage”(1 Corinthians 7:13-14).

So, as I said, my Heavenly Husband is writing a new chapter in this new phase of my journey: He’s brought me back to live in my home, but this time, with Him!

Yes, this is a new chapter. Yes, being back is a whole new situation where I need Him even more. As Erin and all the restored ladies say, it will not be easy and they’re right. I depend on Him more than ever! Some days my Heavenly Husband sings for me—I literally I wake up with a song in my heart and I know I have to keep singing it because He is ministering to me. Other days He allows trials to come, so it will bring me closer to Him, and other times, He holds me tight in the hot furnace as only a loving Husband would do to burn off any impurities in my heart. There is no way I could live here or could carry on living here without Him, it's impossible, but His grace is sufficient for me, He is all I need.

A new chapter! Yes! Our journey never ends! It doesn't end when we come back home or when a husband moves back home. It doesn't end when our marriages are restored.

It doesn't end when the cords, which are holding us or them are broken. This is a journey of love and discoveries that never end!

A journey is meant to prepare us for our purpose and destiny: “Look, I am coming soon, bringing my reward with me to repay all people according to their deeds. I am the Alpha and the Omega, the First and the Last, the Beginning and the End.”

“Blessed are those who wash their robes. They will be permitted to enter through the gates of the city and eat the fruit from the tree of life. Outside the city are the dogs—the sorcerers, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idol worshippers, and all who love to live a lie.”

“I, Jesus, have sent my angel to give you this message for the churches. I am both the source of David and the heir to his throne. I am the bright morning star.”

“The Spirit and the bride say, “Come.” Let anyone who hears this say, “Come.” Let anyone who is thirsty come. Let anyone who desires drink freely from the water of life.

“He who is the faithful witness to all these things says, “Yes, I am coming soon!”

Amen! Come, Lord Jesus!” (Revelation 22:12-17,20)

I want to thank Erin and this ministry for reuniting me and introducing me to my HH. And let me say, for any woman who is interested in restoring her marriage, I would highly recommend the How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage book, Wise Woman, By Word of Their Testimony, Workers@Home, and all other the resources this ministry has to offer—especially the daily lessons offered. It helped me, and will help you restore your relationship, first with your HH and then with your earthly husband. And no matter how bad things look, there is nothing impossible with God.

Now I want to use what I’ve learned to help other women on this same or a similar journey. I've experienced the most terrible things a woman can experience, but the Lord never let me down and He won’t let you down either! He was with me in the shadow of death, carrying me in His arms. And I promise He is there with you now. Just open your heart to Him and let Him heal you and make you His bride.

Thank You for bringing me back home Jesus, this is Your home my Beloved, let Your will be done here. As for me and my house we will serve You!

All the glory, honour and praise belong to You alone. I want to be forever with You Author and Finisher of my faith!

I love You Jesus.