The Cover Says It–How GOD Will Restore!

The Cover Says It—How GOD Will Restore!

Guadalupe, how did your restoration actually begin?

I had been married for almost 40 years when I began my journey. I never imagined in a million years that I’d be asked to go through so much suffering and humiliation. It happened rather suddenly when my husband began to ignore me, stay away from home and not care about anything at all he’d been interested in before.

One day I heard his cell phone ringing and when I walked by and looked at it—it had a woman’s face on it. I didn’t dare pick it up, besides I was so stunned I just stood there and stared. After it stopped, that’s when texts started to come in, and I could read the messages that were being sent by this other woman.

It was so strange what was happening. Soon I realized that he had formed an intimate relationship with a woman from his work, and I must confess that my world fell apart. I cried a lot, nonstop, and I was without any direction to know what to do. I was ashamed, so I told no one, so for a time I suffered entirely alone. It was the shame that kept me from talking to anyone. Then one day, a day of deep desperation, I spoke to a pastor of a church I’d driven by. And I told everything to this pastor, explaining what was happening and he advised me to trust God and that this battle would be won on my knees, with my face on the ground.

Knowing I still needed to find help, I opened my laptop and began looking for help on the internet begging God to help me. That’s when I found your life changing book, How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage. I read the first chapter on your site and knew that GOD was speaking to me. I can’t explain the kind of joy I felt, from the moment I read the title of your book. Immediately instead of not knowing what to do, my thoughts became perfectly clear, it was God telling me that He would restore my marriage.

With the Lord to help me, I began reading, marking the book and then later found your evaluation and was offered your free course. Though my life began again, my life at home, specifically my situation with my husband became worse. He was even more distant if that was possible, ignoring me entirely. Though he never told me, and I didn’t ask, I knew things were getting worse.

A week or so later, I made my biggest mistake even though I knew better. I asked him what was going on, and he said nothing. Sensing this was God protecting me I said no more. But a day later I began pressing him and then that’s the day he just blurted out about the OW. He said he had a deep love for this OW and he’d made promises of love to her and that meant a future with her!

Up until that day, I had been somewhat spared, but ignoring His truth hurt like nothing I’d felt before. I felt dirtied and like all our years together had meant nothing to him. I honestly thought what he was doing was something temporary and everything with this OW would soon be over, but on this day, the day I pushed him to voice what was going on, I saw in him the conviction that he was Indeed in love with this woman. He confessed to me that he could not help himself, that it was something new that he had never felt in his life. What a horrible fool I’d been.

After this fateful day, he began getting ready to leave me and looked into selling our home. He’d only spend a few minutes coming and going and all I can say is that there is no way I can describe all the suffering and humiliation I went through. He’d make a point of saying each time he was getting ready that he never loved me. That I should be honest because the only reason we’d married was that I got pregnant and because of the man he was, he did what was right. But now that the children were grown he wanted a life he chose for himself not one forced on him. He told me that at one time he wanted to be my prince, but because I’d been so far from being a princess (because I nagged and made sure I won every argument) that he’d found himself a kinder, lovelier princess to be with. That, for the first time in his life, he really experienced love and that he never knew love before he met her.

Hearing this over and over felt like every part of me had been cut to pieces. Every conversation he had after that was praises for the new princess in his life, which left me humiliated. That’s when I finally learned to shut my mouth, stop talking and let God begin my transformation.

How did God change your situation Guadalupe as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

After reading the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage so many times (I bought three that fell apart because I wore them out), I began to take a new position as His bride, His princess! It began when I recognized all my mistakes throughout our marriage and discovered what being A Wise Woman meant. It was not the wise cracking, mocking and the demeaning woman that I’d been in my marriage. Instead, I needed to become the quiet and gentle spirit that pleased God and my HH first.

One day I finally was forced to tell my children about our separation, but I refused to talk about their father or the OW they’d found out he was involved with.

The more I studied your books and looked up each verse, marked it in my Bible and made cards for the verses that I knew I needed to consume daily, the quicker the days went by and I began to feel stronger and stronger. The mud my husband felt he needed to throw at me each time he came over, no longer caused me as much pain. It was by God's grace and the love I had as my HH’s bride that my entire demeanor began to change. I began to dedicate myself to being the wife I read about in workers@home, washing his clothes and even ironing—something I never did as the professed feminist I was. I learned to cook and would leave a plate for him when I knew he’d be coming.

The biggest surprise I think was when he came in to find our house tidy. That was the first time he initiated intimacy that we hadn’t had for years. Afterward, he stated he felt guilty for cheating on her, that we did need to remain separated and he talked about getting a divorce. But I knew this was a good sign, it meant we were getting closer to God restoring our marriage.

I knew the delay was because God wasn’t done molding me yet, making me into His perfect bride and princess, which I fully began to enjoy.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Guadalupe, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

The verse that changed my thinking was Proverbs 21:1 “The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the LORD; He turns it wherever He wishes” especially after my husband told me I wasn’t his princess. Like Erin said she found a verse that changed everything, this verse was mine. I’d discovered this when reading the first chapter of How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage, and it was just something He reminded me of often. Though my husband said he did not want our marriage, God’s restoration would happen the moment He chose to turn his heart back, once I was my HH’s princess and I looked fully into being His bride.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Guadalupe?

On the weekends it was very difficult because he would get ready to go out with the OW. Often to prepare and get in the mood he would drink excessively. While he was getting ready he ignored me and didn’t talk to me, but when he came home, he’d storm into our bedroom and begin to mock me. It hurt a lot to hear all those nights when he would be so full of venom and I couldn’t help feeling like the worst woman on this earth. Yet, when he was done, I would roll over and speak to my HH, who’d wrap me in His loving arms whispering His words of love to me.

Guadalupe, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

One day when I was returning home from shopping, I clearly heard in my heart the following phrase, “The enemy is about to throw his final party and destroy you forever” and when I got home, I found my husband had gone into our home and cleared everything out. It was unbelievable but I wasn’t shaken. I drove to a friend’s home and calmly said that my husband had left home and would it be okay if I stay with her. Before I went to sleep that night, I opened my bible (thankful I carried it with me) and the Lord gave me the word Hebrews 11:30

“By faith the walls of Jericho fell down after they had been encircled for seven days.”

For seven days I envisioned my faith surrounding my home, my marriage and my husband. On the seventh day, I got a call from my husband asking me to meet him. After all our years of marriage, I never saw my husband cry, but when we met he began to weep saying he had a change of heart and knew he’d been a fool. He begged me to take him back.

Tell us HOW it happened Guadalupe? Did your husband just walk in the front door?

After the week at my friends, he called asking if we could talk. I confess that I felt as if my heart would jump out of my chest. When we met I spoke as little as possible, and simply nodded my head as I listened.

Next week will mark the one year anniversary of when my husband came back and we moved back into our home. I am very grateful to God and find myself wanting more and more of my HH because human love can never compare to heavenly love.

I often hear my husband whispering softly, “I love you” and he has treated me as he said, his princess. He’s always remained loving, caring about me and even helps me with things around the house. And due to the love I get from my HH, I am able to love my husband more than I was ever able to.

I keep my Wise Woman next to my bed and he has his Wise Man that the ministry sent him.

Yet, what I want to say is that I am so thankful God Who chose to take me into the desert so He could show me how wrong I was, and how even an older woman is able to change. Thank you, Lord, for choosing me as your bride and princess.

Now my conversations are primarily with my Husband rather than being the nagging wife to my earthly husband. And though the past may come up, I am always careful not to let anything influence what God has done because it’s very easy for the enemy to return to steal from us again, so I must remain vigilant in my relationship with Him!

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you, Guadalupe?

Absolutely, the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and once you’ve come through your crisis, to switch over to A Wise Woman and workers@home to prepare for your husband returning.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Guadalupe?

Yes, I truly would.

Either way Guadalupe, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Dear bride, never give up on what God said He would do—restore your marriage. But remember it’s during our time in the desert when He will mean the most to us. You can choose to follow what Erin’s books say and what the Bible says, but it’s you who will decide to obey or neglect the truth. Remember that He hears us and is with us in our darkest moments when we are suffering our greatest anguish. If you find the Lord as your HH, you will find He can welcome you to a place where He will calm you, and give you utter peace. From the moment He really is your HH, you will never be alone. Remember this fight is not yours and you can’t restore your marriage. The RYM cover says it, it’s how GOD will restore. And when He is fighting for you, you will not lose the war. Just seek and find your HH, giving Him everything in your heart because He guarantees us a life of abundance, overflowing with happiness!