Screaming Matches Stop

Screaming Matches Stop

My husband and I had a troubled relationship. There were always screaming matches if I did not get my own way.

In December I found out that my husband was seeing another woman. Desperate to save my marriage, I placed many prayer requests on different websites, hoping that God would save my marriage. It was not long afterwards that I received an email from a lady named Hilary encouraging me, and asking if I was willing to follow God's principles to save my marriage. Hilary sent me the book “How God can and will restore your marriage.” When I began reading the book, I realised how much I was doing wrong in my marriage.

Three months later, in February, my husband moved out to be with the other woman. Please remember I was not a Christian before this. When my husband moved out, I had no one, only my Lord whom I just learned about. I had asked Hilary if she would be my encouragement partner and she agreed, but I changed jobs and lost contact with her. I could not ask my friends to pray with me because they did not even believe in God. Erin's book and the Lord kept me sane. I began reading and praying in ways that I never did before. Psalm 23 became my salvation.

The first thing God taught me was to stop talking about my situation. He then taught me to listen and be humble. The Lord was so good to me, He showed me all my faults and what I had done wrong in my marriage. He taught me how to be a biblical wife.

My husband and I had no contact when he left—we would see each other on the street and it was as if we were strangers. One day, I received a call from my husband asking for my mom's number so that he could speak to our daughter. I thanked him for remembering our daughter, and gave him her telephone number. Soon afterwards, he began to call whenever he needed something. We slowly became friends again.

Through Erin's books and the Bible, I learnt to put my tears in a bottle. I learnt to trust the Lord to take over my problems and situation. As hard as it was, I learned not to call my husband.

I remember a rainy Saturday when my husband came through and he started to dismantle the bedroom set to take it with him and I asked him how could he take something we had bought together to live with the OW. Then and there, he broke the furniture and left. I remember asking the Lord, "Now what?" Instead of ranting and raving, I got on my knees and prayed to the Lord for help and forgive me for opening my mouth when I knew I should remain quiet. My Saviour gave me peace that day and showed me that He was there to carry me even through the mistake that I had made by saying something like that and trying to stop my husband.

There was not really just one turning point I think because my restoration was all so unexpected. My husband and I did not really see each other at all at first. Then I avoided him whenever I could because I was scared of hearing him tell me that I was desperate to have him back. The last time we had spoken, he had made it very clear that he was in love with the OW and that he would not return, but we should just remain friends.

Then suddenly, when I was at work, I received a call from the downstairs reception saying that there was a gentleman at the reception to see me. When I went to see who his gentleman was, I saw it was my husband! He told me that he had lost everything and wanted to work at his marriage. He had no place to stay and could he please come back home?

My husband brought all of his things home and I am so thankful to the Lord for restoring my marriage. We have been together for several months, but like Erin says, Restoration is a journey and I still have a very long way to go... but I know that the Lord will not let me down as long as I keep doing everything the same and allowing Him to finish what He started.

I know that God can move mountains, and nothing happens in my timing but in His timing!

~ Charlotte in South Africa, RESTORED!!

The Best Thing I've Ever Done!

Praise the Lord! Boy is He the greatest! I never thought for a minute that my marriage was ever going to get better. Thanks to my Almighty Lord and Savior, He has showed me how to come to Him with my situation, “and I will help you and wipe those tears away from your face ... and replace them with smiles.”

My husband left me six months ago for another woman. He told me he loved her and no longer loved me. I was devastated and didn’t know what to do or who to turn to. I would call my husband every day begging for him to come back to me. I even called the OW everyday asking her how she could do this to my family. Let me tell you all I did was make the situation a lot worse and my life began to spiral out of control.

Now I thank God everyday for the help of restore ministries and for my now gentle and quiet spirit! The books and courses changed me because it showed me the truth! What the standers fail to realize is that we need to change for our lives to change, which then changes the way our husbands see us. It won't happen by digging our heals in, any woman will do that.

Of course, no, I didn’t want to let go of my husband but I knew I had to. Yes, it caused much pain and there was the crying myself to sleep every night until I found Him as my Husband, another blessing I learned by coming here and what no one taught me or even discussed with all my standers. It makes so much sense to simply let go and give my husband and my situation to the Lord. So I did and when I finally stopped calling him and begging him to come back, for that only made me look weak in my husband's eyes and unfaithful in my Lord's eyes, things began to change. Oh, and of course I stopped calling the other woman, for that only made their so-called “love" stronger just like RMI says. Let me shout the truth to all of you who are still holding on—JUST LET GO!

Honestly, coming here and learning to let go and turn my affections on the One who loved me was the best thing that I have ever done. It is now six months since my husband moved back in with me! My marriage is still not fully restored but it's a start because I've only made a start in how I look to my new Husband and leave my husband room to know Him too. I know that I give all thanks to the Lord for this (and, of course, following the principles in the book) and for all of you who gave your support and helped me not just learn but live the truth.

Please don’t give up, whatever you do., keep your faith, for all things are possible if you just do what is right! I went from being devastated that my husband left me for another woman to being an even stronger wife because I took the Lord as my Husband. I give thanks to God for preparing me for my husband’s return by giving me the best Husband to turn to and be loved by. Please give everything, give it all to the Lord. If you don’t give up, don't turn your affections to the wrong person, then that's when your husband WILL be back and YOU will be stronger and happier than you ever imagined!

~ Carmen in Maryland