He Married the OW

"He Remarried the OW"

I am so excited to be able to share what God has done for me! My life completely changed the day I emailed your ministry. You may remember me, I was the woman from California who wrote to Erin about restoring her marriage and then my husband remarried. When I first wrote everything was moving forward beautifully, and I was sure that my marriage would soon would be restored. But the next thing I knew, I was hit by finding out (by a close friend) that my husband had remarried the OW "other woman."

When I wrote a second time I was desperate and I asked to find out what I should do now that everything had changed. I believe I wrote in all caps NOW WHAT?!??! Immediately I was sent the lesson "Husband Remarried." I read it as quickly as I could, but then read it three more times before I wrote back, honestly a bit defeated but thanked you. A few days later, I knew that for me to be happy again, I had to learn how to become "content" with what I believed was God’s apparent will for my life. God wanted me to give up MY will for HIS will, which was to live at peace and contentment as a "single" woman never to marry anyone else. So even though I was in my early thirties, I knew He would somehow help me. What I had found was something so much much more. I found HIM as my Husband and Heavenly Love! I quickly became His bride.

Within only one short year (too short now that it's over), I need to write you again to tell you that my FH "former husband" recently contacted me. He said that he realized that he had made the biggest mistake of his life, which were his exact words!! He had already separated from his new wife and was filing for divorce. So he emailed me and wanted to know if I would consider dating him again. I read something very much like this somewhere on your site, so I wrote back that I would only "consider" any reconciliation after he was legally divorced. But I honestly was torn.

A year ago God asked me to let go of MY will for His, but now He was asking me to let go of the Man who loved me, my HH. I knew I needed to be willing to take God's will for my life again, but this time I was more fearful for I would lose what I had. So when my FH and I spoke, I made sure not to promise my FH any more than I'd consider it, even though he almost begged me to tell him that I'd marry him again!

My struggle may have been partly due to me sharing this principle of COMPLETELY letting a husband go with several other women whose husbands had remarried like mine had. I guess I just didn't think for a second my heavenly honeymoon would be over so soon.

Of course I relented in my heart to accept His will for my life and about four months later my husband was free of the OW (no longer married) and contacted me again. He began by explaining that once I left him alone (and let go), he was able to feel the pain of the mistake he made and his horrible decision to marry the other woman (that he said he knew even before he married her). He told me when I kept chasing him, calling him and following his every move on FaceBook (before I closed my account) he thought marrying her would get me to leave him alone. What he didn't know was that it wasn't him getting married, but it was me denouncing my following the standers creed and finding my HH.

No matter how it really happened, once he stopped seeing me on FB or hearing from me (calling, texting and sending him cards) he began thinking about me again. So that's when he began to track me down. And after finding me, even though he hadn't planned to get divorced, because I wasn't excited to hear from him like he thought I'd be, that's when he realized what he'd lost. We had put off having children (my decision before I read the chapter in A Wise Woman) so not only did he propose to me that night, he also asked if I'd be willing to have children with him and I said Yes. (The OW had promised that she and he would have kids, but I confess I did pray her womb would be closed before I fully let go when I read the RYM book).

Dear friend, for any of you who are afraid to let go, I mean really let go, please walk away from what you're holding on so tightly to and trust God. It's fear that's making you hold onto what God wants you to let go of. You need to be willing to want HIS will over your own, whether that's to let go and live as His bride or if it's to accept that His will to live as the wife of an EH or FH like He asked me.

So far we haven't gotten pregnant, but I am confident in His will. I've even been pushed to pursue IVF treatments, but like everything in my life, nothing is impossible for God. If He wants to bless us with a baby, He will. And one more thing, I didn't stop being His bride and He is even more my HH. If anything, I need Him more now than before. It's just harder to find the time to have Him all to myself, but that makes our time together even more special!

The last thing that I need to confess is that I am always confused and just a bit hurt when I meet women who have a slightly different situation than mine, and they're unable to find a restored marriage similar to theirs (in any of the hundreds of testimonies that you have in your books or on your site) so they begin to ask me to show them one exactly like theirs. If it's not exactly like theirs, they have absolutely no faith to trust Him! "And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him," (Hebrews 11:6). "Sighing deeply in His spirit, Jesus *said, “Why does this generation seek for a sign? Truly I say to you, no sign will be given to this generation.” (Mark 8:12). When Erin was trusting God for her restoration, I read that she had NO ONE, not ONE other restored marriage she'd ever heard about. None of the pastors she spoke to gave her any hope, and no ONE gave her any encouragement either. And because it was over 25 years ago, I don't think there was a way to Google for a site or books or anything else either. It was through the faith of just one woman that we've all been encouraged to find not just restored marriages but HIM!

So sorry this is so long but I just had to share everything He's done with you and hope it helps someone else who has no hope.

~ Janine in California, RESTORED