Embrace the Trials

"Embrace the Trials"

Gina, please tell us, how did your restoration actually begin? *

How do I even begin to explain my RJ that has taken nearly 3 years?? It started by EH becoming distant and me trying to do everything I could do in my own strength to try and make him happy. It was during this time that my sister died from suicide, and on top of that tragedy, I was being investigated at work for an incident that could have had me fired, and my dad had legal issues. I began going to church a lot and it pushed my EH away. My EH was becoming increasingly depressed and he left me and our one-year old daughter. I already knew some of the principles from RMI so I knew not to stand in his way or chase him. I immediately sought the help of RMI. I thought he would only be gone a few days.

Gina, how did God change your situation as you sought Him wholeheartedly? *

I immediately began the courses and I began to have peace that my marriage would be restored. I am so grateful for this ministry for giving me a road map not only to restoration but more importantly to a true relationship with the Lord. I always thought I was a Christian, but after experiencing all of these trials I found that I only sought the Lord when I needed help and I would try and pray for Him to change things the way I thought was best. I was such a control freak and actually thought I knew what was best for me. :)

I diligently did each of the daily courses offered through RMI and I began to pour out my heart in the forms. After completing all of the courses I began volunteering for RMI which has turned out to be such a great blessing to me.

The Lord gave me a verse "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." Hebrews 12:1. I took this verse and ran with it...literally. I began running like I was running to Him. I trained and I even ran a marathon!! Wow only with His strength could I complete such a difficult task. I felt He was transforming me mentally, physically and spiritually. I fasted a lot and my life began to revolve more around the Lord and less around my EH. I was no longer consumed with fear like I was early on in my RJ.

I stopped looking to my EH for help and began to seek the Lord with every one of my needs. I never had to ask my EH for help financially, physically, emotionally or even to babysit. Whenever I had a need I would seek the Lord and He would provide either through my EH or others.

Gina, what principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), did the Lord teach you during this trial? *

The principle that helped me the most was the principle of letting go. This was the hardest one for me. I was so fearful to let go because I feared that my EH would think I didn't care about him. This is really the most important thing not only with our EH, but with every area of our lives.

Another important principle that will forever change my life is that we are His Brides!! The Lord is our Heavenly Husband and He desires to take care of all of our needs.

Also overcoming the fear of tithing, due to being wrapped up in trying to please my husband rather than pleasing my HH.

Gina, what were the most difficult times that God helped you through? *

Where do I even begin with this part? There were many difficult times over these last 3 years. Early on in RJ my EH told me to move on and take off my wedding ring. I accidentally saw his medical record where he asked his doctor for information about getting a vasectomy. (Thankfully I let it go and he never went through with it, but it caused me a great deal of fear.) I remember on Christmas Eve I came home to find he had taken down all of our family photos. He told me we would sell our home and file for divorce. I would fearfully agree and try and pray against it.

After nearly two years, my EH began staying at our home and was extremely depressed. I saw all of his belongings packed in his car. It was on our wedding anniversary (he forgot it was our anniversary) that he brought up divorce again. He confessed that there was an OW and he had been living with her. A couple days later he left and went back to live with OW. After going back, he filed for divorce. It was a very hard time for me. He began introducing the OW to our friends and would take our daughter to spend time with her. EH even asked me to help him fill out our divorce papers.

The hardest part of my RJ was letting go of our daughter going to spend time with OW. Reading and getting to know Amalia in Poland helped due to her experiences with her son, the OW and also the child her EH had with the OW.

The last 6 months of my journey were very intense with my EH coming back and forth between OW and me several times. He packed up all of his belongings from OW at least 3 times, but he never brought his stuff inside our home.

I share all of this now only because when I would devour the Restored Marriage Testimonies, I would always want to know details. To be honest, none of the incidents I went through cause me any pain. All of the pain is gone and the trials He brought me through only served to catapult me into His arms whenever I think of Him and His love.

Gina, what was the “turning point” of your restoration? *

The turning point in my restoration was when I came to the point where it no longer affected me what EH was doing. It no longer mattered to me if I was ever restored and all I wanted to do was please the Lord. My HH had become everything to me, which I learned from the Abundant Life courses.

Gina, tell us HOW it happened? Did your husband just walk in the front door? *

My EH called and I let our daughter answer the phone. He said, "tell mama I'm coming by." This was not unusual because he was at our home frequently, but I felt the Lord tell me that he was coming home. He came in and was very quiet and distracted and suddenly left and said he might come back later. I felt Him whisper to me "I'm going to finish it." That’s when my EH text me and apologized for leaving suddenly and asked if he could spend the night. I had the sense that he was gone packing up whatever belongings were left at OW's. I was right. He’s had a trailer packed full of his stuff parked in our backyard for the last month that he never unpacked. He came home that night and has been here ever since and the relationship with OW has completely ended.

Did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored? *

Yes and no. I was so content with my life with our HH. I remember the day before my EH came home. I was laying on my back porch saying how beautiful life is. It had nothing to do with my circumstances—only that I am so content with Him nothing else mattered. I had been feeling this way for the past few months but I was literally so in love with Him it didn't matter whether I was married, divorced, in an apartment or our home. Nothing mattered, only He mattered!

I felt restoration would be soon not because I saw any signs with my EH. He would flip flop back and forth between being super nice to me and then being distant and disconnected. I only felt it would be soon because truly it no longer mattered to me if I was restored. I lacked nothing and I enjoyed being His Bride. To be honest I was really enjoying my "alone" time and my freedom to spend all my time with Him.

Gina, would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you? *

I recommend every single resource that RMI offers. The RRR Onlline Courses, RYM book, Wise Woman book, Finding the Abundant Life book. Really every single book is worth reading and rereading.

Do you have favorite Bible verses that you would like to pass on to women reading your Testimonies? Promises that He gave you?

"Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." Hebrews 12:1

Lay everything down and run to Him.

"For perhaps he was for this reason separated from you for a while, that you would have him back forever, no longer as a slave, but more than a slave, a beloved brother, especially to me, but how much more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord. If then you regard me a partner, accept him as you would me. But if he has wronged you in any way or owes you anything, charge that to my account." Philippians 1:15-18

This was a promise the Lord gave me early on in RJ

“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women? *

YES!! I love being an Encouraging Woman minister and recommend everyone take the courses and keep going until you sign up our Ministry Team.

Gina, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion? *

Ladies, I know this RJ seems more than you can bear and is so painful at times. I will say that it is all temporary and soon you will look back and miss this special time in your life as long as you first find your HH and experience His love for you as His bride. This is happening because He is taking you higher. There is no way I would have the peace I have today had I not gone through some very intense trials. So, embrace the trials and let go of trying to help God in any way. I had to lay everything down and truly surrender everything to Him. He won't let us down and we can trust that He has a great plan for us!