Them as Parents

My Son speaking about “Them” as his “Parents”!

What brought you to RMI? Please use this space to briefly let our readers know what your life was like when you first found us, Kelle, so our readers understand just what a miracle your restoration is.

Kelle, how did your restoration actually begin?

It was HIM!!!!! Beloved brides, I arrived by the mercy of God to find RMI. I was fooling myself into thinking that the separation had been good for me because I felt stressed and tired of fighting from the day we married. When He led me here, my husband had been away from home for 17 months and was dating an OW. And because he had asked ME twice to come back to him and I had not accepted (because I was hard-hearted, not a wise woman, proud, insubordinate, and contentious) he moved in with her.

Then my world fell!!!! My son started to go with them, as a couple, on their walks each weekend and speaking about them as his “parents.” I felt like I would die.

It was my sister-in-law who found a prayer facebook group and someone sent me the invitation and there was a photo of the cover of the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage!!!! I quickly downloaded it because there was a link. Then I began a series of fasting and prayer for my family.

As soon as I began to have the faith that He would restore my marriage, because now I wanted it, I decided to go look at my husband’s facebook page and I saw the OW and all sorts of pictures with him, with them and my son, and l felt like giving up. Then, I realized, that this was an attack by the enemy and I chose to continue with what I’d started.

It was from that moment that everything began to change. It was necessary to get me to this extreme point, for me to see my husband living with the OW with my son happily part of their life, as a “family,” in order for me to see how much I loved my husband and wanted my family back. Since I was a teen, I was contentious, not submissive to my parents (so I was never submissive to my husband). I was religious without ever really knowing God’s Word, not really. I was a hard-hearted Pharisee who, once married, began thinking that if it did not work the way I wanted there was always divorce. I would just go find myself someone new.

I thought that way because it was like that with my parents. They married, had children, were not happy, so they divorced, found someone new, divorced again, found someone new and the cycle repeated. I finally realized that was how my life was headed. I did find the Lord soon after being married, but I had a long way to go before my life would reflect Who’s I was.

When I first got saved, I did not read the Bible with a broken heart, I did not seek the Lord in my room to really know Him. Instead, I was anxious to live my life the same way. So, after I married, got saved, joined a church, I only saw his sins (drink, adultery, rudeness, etc ...)

Ohhh, how I needed to become HIS BRIDE!!! I was a hypocrite until I experienced His love. I saw the speck in my husband’s eye, but I could not even see the beam that was in my own eye. I humiliated my husband by asking several people for prayer for his sins, a common practice in my church. I thought I was so good because I attended all the services and was involved in so many of their outreaches, but I was wearing filthy robes, a whitewashed tomb! The hypocrisy goes much further. My relationship with my parents!

Even though I’d moved home with them, I was full of disobedience, and disrespect. I had an answer for everything, I disagreed with everything they said. Then when they voiced their concerns, I communicated only the facts to them (it was like this in my marriage, butt out!!). I did not honor them in anyway. I was in the church, a member of a church, but my heart was so FAR FROM HIM. All this time I thought I was wise, obedient, faithful, and pleasing to God. What a fool.

How did God change your situation Kelle as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

After discovering RMI, I changed. I learned that my sins were as serious as those of my husband, but I had an even greater degree of responsibility, claiming to be a servant of the Lord—so how could I act like this ???? I had no choice but to accept that I had been the greater one who contributed to its breakdown. I had put my marriage in crisis. I began to feel so small, so miserable, and even embarrassed by how I had been.

With great relief and humility, the burden was light because at the very same time I realized my own unworthiness. I began to understand that God was in control and that above all else, He loved me and wanted good for me. I began to ask him for forgiveness. Then I asked Him to prepare an opportunity for me to ask my husband for forgiveness since we never saw each other anymore. Soon after our 6-year-old son became gravely ill and he came to visit him in the hospital. Being prepared like the verse said, when he was about to leave, I handed him a letter where I asked for forgiveness. In Course 1 there was a lesson on the subject of forgiveness and I knew that if I said the wrong thing, I would miss my opportunity. So I handed the letter to my earthly husband but, at the time, I saw no positive response when he returned the next day. He was still cold and distant but I knew I’d done what I needed to and left the results in His hands.

Still concerned after not seeing any improvement, I asked the Lord for a sign that I should continue with this journey, somewhat hoping it would just be me and Him living happily ever after. The next day I was posting praise on the facebook group about how each of the women needed to go through the FAL (soon after everyone was saying it would hurt restoration but it was a lie) and when I clicked something, accidentally, I saw that I was on my husband’s facebook page and I notice there were no pictures of the OW! That’s when I knew it was finished. Then I heard he’d moved into my mother-in-law's house.

I understood that God's response was not to say my journey was over in anyway. So I allowed myself to learn from Him using the instrument of the RMI courses and truths and encouragement, until it was the appointed time for restoration.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Kelle, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

I was in the school of God, I knew that. I needed to learn everything. I learned to rejoice in the smallest of victories, submitting praise reports and helping other women. A determining factor in my restoration was when I learned to tithe correctly and Surrender and Trust Him. A correct tithe means to offer it from your heart, to tithe to my storehouse, which wasn’t my church, it was RMI.

I also learned to let go and let God restore. Not to ask for a divorce, as I was encouraged to do because my husband was living with the OW and acting like a family. Also to let my husband have free access to our house and even to sleep there when necessary (which began to happen after he got fed up with the OW and moved in with his mom).

I leaned to treat my husband with love no matter how he treated me. To praise the Lord at all times, never to argue (with anyone), to be submissive to those in authority over me. To keep smiling at the future. I learned to not call my husband or pursue him. To recognize that all attacks are from the enemy so why fight with the innocent he uses to carry out his schemes. To pay back evil by giving what is good.

I learned that I no longer needed to worry about my own situation but to focus on other women and to help them. I now minister to several other women who are in the same situation as I was in.

Yet the greatest thing I learned, above all, was that I had a HH who was so close but I ignored Him. So, even as I continued failing and remaining sinful, He loved me unconditionally, supported me, comforted me, and was a great Father to my son. He was not just my Savior. He was, He is my Heavenly Husband.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Kelle?

Several times I wanted to give up because to the human eye I could not see a solution to what I believed God wanted, my marriage restored. Soon I had to pass the test to discover what and Who was most important in my life.

In order to refine me, at one point I had to go sleep at my cousin's house the days I worked because I left home so very early, so I didn’t want to wake my son. It was humbling for me because all our neighbors (who I’d known all my life) clearly saw my situation (I’d hidden it so well before this). On top of that, I thought this always bothered my cousin, but she always welcomed me with love. Whether it was raining or sunny, I had to walk to my cousin's house full of backpacks with my son in tow, ready to sleep, so my cousin (who went to work later in the morning) could take my son to school. One day my son asked me not to go there anymore to sleep, but that’s when my husband then offered to sleep at home, to stay with our son, and then, through the RMI’s teachings, I accepted and I gave him free access and a key to the new door of my house.

Kelle, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

The turning point was when I started to really letting go and trust God. Not calling him, and instead asking God to do His will in my husband’s life. Also, choosing to no longer attend his family parties, just because I thought I “had the right.”

Once I put myself in the place of a wise woman, realizing the hunting and pursuing is for the man to do. Then, at the same time, when I saw him in our house, I was loving, I was meek, I was grateful for the visit, and grateful for money he gave me, regardless of the value. I found out later that’s when he said I started to be the woman he wanted. I had been transformed by God, I became a wise woman whose value exceeds that of many rubies once I became the Lord’s bride.

Tell us HOW it happened Kelle? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Kelle, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

God spoke to me a lot in my dreams; I began not to prioritize restoration anymore. I rejoiced in everything the Lord did for me. I filled my heart with Bible verses, I made the 3x5 cards and read them over and over again. I began to encourage other women, and one was a leader in the church who was going through a divorce. So I bought her the How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and gave her the Facing Divorce book and invested in her life.

The more I was involved with the work He called me to, to help other women, the better and worse my life got. One day someone said they had a message from God for me. That my husband would be back that month. I felt victorious but when he did not come back I realized that I had wrongly looked for a sign. So I asked the Lord for forgiveness and I resumed my journey, now more attentive focusing on helping other women. It was crazy because the more women I helped, the more that were being restored, but mine wasn’t. Mine got worse, but I knew my restoration would be when He saw that I was ready, and that it would be for the Glory of Him and not anything I did. I was only anxious for the sake of our son who I wanted to have his daddy back.

Then one day he said he was coming to spend to the weekend with us, but he did not come, and that made me very sad. I cried a deep cry that I never cried to the Lord, because my heart was turning to want my husband, not my new Husband. Then I opened to the verse I’d read so many times that I had marked. Isaiah 54:4-6, “Fear not, for you will not be put to shame; And do not feel humiliated, for you will not be disgraced; but you will forget the shame of your youth, and the reproach of your widowhood you will remember no more.

“For your Husband is your Maker, Whose name is the Lord of hosts; And your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel, Who is called the God of all the earth.

“'For the Lord has called you, Like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit, Even like a wife of one’s youth when she is rejected,' Says your God.”

"Instead of your shame you will have a double portion, and instead of humiliation they will shout for joy over their portion. Therefore they will possess a double portion in their land, Everlasting joy will be theirs. For I, the Lord, love justice, I hate robbery...and I will faithfully give them their recompense and make an everlasting covenant with them. Then their offspring will be known among the nations, and their descendants in the midst of the peoples.

All who see them will recognize them because they are the offspring whom the Lord has blessed.”

From there He led me to Isaiah 45:11, "Thus says the LORD, the Holy One of Israel, and his Maker: 'Ask Me about the things to come ...'" So I asked Him, what is to come for us, You and me dear Husband? Then He led me to read Proverbs 3:4-6, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Next, Isaiah 42:9-10, “Behold, the former things have come to pass, Now I declare new things; Before they spring forth I proclaim them to you. Sing to the Lord a new song, Sing His praise from the end of the earth!"

I turned on and began singing our LOVE Song, playing it over and over again, singing with a loud voice. And finally, He had me open my bible again and read Isaiah 30:21, "Your ears will hear a word behind you, 'This is the way, walk in it,” whenever you turn to the right or to the left.'" That’s when I heard a knock at the door!

When I opened it, there he was, standing there, he said he’d come home. He handed me a gift and that’s when I realized that the previous attack that almost took me down, was because the victory was near. I had failed to keep Him first, the love of my life, but when I turned my heart back to my true Love. When I told Him He was all I needed and wanted, the battle was won.

The next morning my husband stood on our landing and it was there that he gave me a real kiss. As I kissed him back I spoke to my HH in my heart, thanking Him for His love. Then we had intimacy for the first time.

Glory belongs to the Lord, because only He (and using RMI) could lead me to this victory of overcoming myself. My hope is that my testimony shows that nothing is impossible with Him.

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Kelle?

Well, at first I only had access to the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage then later I discovered the courses. Then I bought a case of A Wise Woman and started a bible study where women met once a week.

Also Finding the Abundant Life Course I would say is the advanced course that will really finalize and solidify all He has for you, being His bride.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Kelle?

Yes. I want to continue the Bible studies and helping women on social media (though I have deleted my personal account and my husband deleted his too).

Either way Kelle, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Beloved brides, as difficult as it may seem, however painful, however humiliating or humbling it may be, no matter how much time passes—DO NOT GIVE UP on Him—BELIEVE that victory will come once you are where He needs you to be spiritually. Once He is your HH who you long for. Do not despair, the battle is won in the mind and heart. Listen to what you read and be sure to let go (it really is fundamental), ask Him to show you your sins, repent and find your HH’s love so you will not to commit the same mistakes anymore.

You must take the Lord as your Husband, love Him, thank Him, acknowledge Him because He wants to care for you!

Once He is truly your Husband, very soon your victory will come! And when something goes wrong, ask the Lord, what went wrong? What do I need to do ???? Because living with Him this way will prepare you for your restoration. Taste and see that His love is good, it is amazing and true!!!!!! I have loved this entire journey, all its refining, and as Erin says, “I have been desirous to walk though this fire .... I wanted to be radiant too, for it IS a privilege so few get to travel. To really be molded by HIM, it is the most beautiful act of love imaginable.”

Dear Erin, I have no words to thank you, for your ministry and for how you’ve given to so many so freely. What has happened to me, this experience, is marked as deeply as any experience in my life. I have no doubt that the someday, even if it’s in heaven, I will be able to thank you for all the many families that exist because of what you’ve done. This picture of us renewing our vows, with our son, is proof of how what you do has healed and mended another family. God bless you!!

Dear bride, PEACE to you and do not forget: Luke 1:37 Because to God there is nothing, not one thing that is impossible !!!!!!!!!!!