Traveled Twice

“Traveled My Journey Twice”

First and foremost I want to praise my HH for His mercy, grace, favor, goodness, kindness, truth, patience, and love. He is the Love of my life and my Everything! Without Him, I am nothing and can do nothing. He is a miracle working God and works wonders. The way He works and the way He unfolds things is truly amazing. There is nothing that He can’t do. He is in control of all things and will work everything out for your good. What He has done for me, He will do for you. Work with Him, not against Him. Allow Him to transform you and take Him at His word. His promises are for us all. He loves us.

I was a fool who tore down my house and every relationship there in. I single handedly tore down my marriage by my contentiousness, bitterness, resentment, anger, jealousy, selfishness, alcoholism, addiction to attention from men, partier, negativity, stubbornness, hard-heartedness, controlling, manipulation, aggressiveness, hardness, toughness, nosy, pushy, rebelliousness, not submissive, rudeness, and self-centeredness. Needless to say, I was a real delight and God had His work cut out in changing me, but He did! PTL!

Since I was so stubborn and hardheaded, the only way He could get my attention was to remove what was 1st in my life and most important to me, my husband. It was 31.5 months before God restored my marriage, I had to go through the journey twice, as it takes me longer than others to get things.

Let me begin with something important, since this is my husband’s second marriage. Upon reading the chapter, God Hates Divorce in “How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage” for the first time, I questioned if God wanted to restore my marriage. Why? Well, because my husband was married before, he actually remarried the same woman twice, and my husband wasn’t divorced from her the 2nd time when we met and started seeing each other. The papers had been filed but it hadn’t go through yet. I wasn’t the cause of their divorce, nevertheless, I was dating a married man, he was only separated at the time. After reading chapter, I repented of my actions because I was in the wrong. I started thinking that God may not want to restore my marriage because He might want to restore my husband’s previous marriage. I knew from “A Wise Woman” that since I hadn’t been married, I should have married someone that wasn’t married before. So, I sought God for the answer and if He wanted me to pursue marriage restoration or if He was trying to restore my husband’s previous marriage. He brought back to my memory a scripture He led me to during the first month or two after my husband left,

Deuteronomy 24: 1-4. I immediately looked it up, it says, “If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, and if after she leaves his house she becomes the wife of another man, and her second husband dislikes her and writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house, or if he dies, then her first husband, who divorced her, is not allowed to marry her again after she has been defiled. That would be detestable in the eyes of the LORD. Do not bring sin upon the land the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance.” I had my answer, my husband’s ex did get remarried for a few months before it ended in divorce. I knew based on God’s word, He didn’t want to restore their marriage, but ours. PTL for His word and His power!

Due to how we began and our sin, there is still a lot of work to be done in our restoration. My youngest step-daughter resents me and has bitterness towards me as she feels like I didn’t allow her father to be a dad to her. She is right. I didn’t. Let me tell you, we reap what we sow, I am living proof. Words are so powerful, whether it be positive or negative. Please be careful what you say. This is also why my family resents my husband because of “what he did to me and my son, by abandoning us.” But, again, I would slander him to my family and by my own words they developed the wrong opinion of my husband.

How did your restoration actually begin? *

Now I’m ready to begin. It was June 16th, (2 and a half years ago on a Saturday and the day before Father’s Day), when my husband and I had gone garage selling like normal that everything fell apart. While shopping around, I started asking him who was calling or texting him and what did they say, like I always did. I had to know everything, especially when it came to his girls, he has two daughters from a previous marriage. I would never allow him time alone with them or if I did, I wanted to know what they did, what they talked about, and I couldn’t stand the thought of them having fun without me. I was totally insecure. (I didn’t have a father growing up, so I didn’t understand their relationship.)

Anyways, upon returning from shopping, I could tell my husband had something on his mind, so I asked. I had a sense and I just knew, so I said, “You're leaving me, aren’t you?” He said, “Yes, I just can’t take the negativity anymore.” It wasn’t a normal departure, or what I would consider normal. I helped him pack his things even though he told me to leave. He stayed around for about 2 hours, crying, and kept telling me he was sorry. He kept hugging and kissing me. So I asked him, so “is this it?” and then he said, he didn’t know. I asked him where he was going, but again, he responded he didn’t know. I said, “You are going back to your ex and kids, aren’t you?” (I would always tell him or say, just go back with her and be with your kids because that’s what you want anyways, you always want to be around them.) Again he said, “I don’t know” then he finally left, and later on that afternoon I had a friend drive me by his ex’s house and sure enough, there was his truck. I knew it! I knew he wanted her! I didn’t know at the time, but it was my words and the seeds I planted for 5 years that lead him to do this. (However, things aren’t always as they seem. I would learn this later and of course, the hard way.) I was devastated.

However, there was a part of me that wanted a divorce, I wanted to be single again. Or least I thought that is what I wanted, maybe I was trying to make myself feel better. I had always told my husband that once he married me, it would be forever because I didn’t want my kids to go through a divorce or get a divorce like my parents, I wanted to be different. This played deep within my mind, but I didn’t want to listen or hear it.

The next morning I woke up, and I kept hearing in my head, this isn’t right, this isn’t right. So, I got online and started searching for help. I found a program that advertised that they could save marriages if you apply their principles. I ordered the material and 7 days later, it arrived. I immediately read the book and listened to the videos. I put into practice their methods, which consisted of calling my husband once or twice a day, sending gifts, cards, etc.

During the 7 days I was waiting for this to arrive, God began to deal with me. I always said I was a Christian but I didn’t have an intimate relationship with God, or even know how to have one. I certainly didn’t have any fruits, well not good fruits anyways. EEK! He showed me what a nightmare I was to live with and showed me all about my ways. I remember laying on the couch and having a vision of a black 4x10 piece of wood lifting up off and out of me. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me. I cried for days and was so distraught over the person I had become or was. I didn’t know that person, it wasn’t me. I didn’t like it at all. I wasn’t like this before my husband and I got married, what happened to me? Why did I change so drastically? (I turned into a person that I didn’t want to turn into, I turned into my stepmother and my mother’s ways, ways that I observed, how I grew up.) Thus began my intimate relationship with my Heavenly Father.

I started spending time with Him, reading His word, listening to televangelists like Joyce Meyer and others. I would read Joyce Meyer books and the Word and God started to transform me. I lost a lot of weight as I couldn’t eat and stopped drinking alcohol, but just for 2 weeks. I went from one extreme to the other, I became the Chief Pharisee.

My parents were ecstatic that my husband left and thought it was the best thing for me. They told me God had someone better for me and my husband never treated me right, always put his kids first, and did whatever his ex wanted him to do. My parents were so happy I was rid of him and that I could now find someone that would take care of me and treat me right. Deep down, I wasn’t willing to let go of my marriage, yet, I knew it wasn’t right. I didn’t want to go through a divorce or make my son go through a divorce like I had gone through as a child. I wanted to save him from that and to stop the divorce cycle in my family. I wanted it to stop with me, I wanted my stepkids to have an example of how to treat their husbands so they wouldn’t go through what I have gone through or what their parents had gone through. I knew they didn’t have a good example in their lives just like I didn’t have good examples. I wanted more for my son and my stepkids. I wanted to restore my marriage for God’s kingdom, honor, and glory, for my son and stepkids, and myself, to be a testimony. I knew I had a lot to learn in order to be this example as I didn’t know the WAY, the TRUTH, or the LIFE.

Because I am a school teacher and a coach, I had the summer off. My husband’s youngest daughter played volleyball for me at that time and attended the school where I worked. My step kids and I were like sisters, we did a lot together and I would take them to every appointment and game. When my husband left, he didn’t have any contact with my son or come to see him. My son was devastated and didn’t understand. That first year was awful. The youngest step daughter treated me like the scum of the earth. I was made an object of loathing to her and to my husband. I won’t go into details about how horrible this was. I would be told how sorry people were that my husband and I were getting a divorce, his daughter said that he and her mom might get back together, I was told the divorce already was a done deal and had gone through, the ex and my husband would show up to games together, sit by each other, and she would sit close to him, put her arm around him, or touch his leg. It was in front of everyone seeing this and they were watching me, and seeing my reaction. However, by the Grace of God, I handled myself in an appropriate way.

Before God got a hold of me, I wouldn’t have reacted as I did, like it didn’t bother me and just being light and carefree. To say it was hard to go through this, is putting it lightly. It was one of the worse experiences in my life. I was so glad when the season was over, however, I still had to see his daughter at school. I just stayed to myself that year and didn’t talk to many people. I told a few people that I was fighting for my marriage and had about 2-3 supporting me, not family members, but the support only lasted for about a year. It hurt so much for people to think we were divorced and say we were. I thought my husband was going around telling everyone this, and I just wanted people to know the truth about the situation.

So, I fought for my marriage for a year, applying the marriage fitness principles. At the beginning, my husband and I texted once or twice a week. But over time, it decreased. It would be a month or so before he would pick up the phone and talk to me, just for a minute. However, when I would see him at games or if he came over to get something, or if I went to his work to see him, he was distant with me and didn’t want anything to do with me. I would talk to a counselor, and tell them everything that was going on, and they would encourage me to continue the process at least for a year. I was crying out to God all along, throwing myself on the floor, not understanding why He wouldn’t restore my marriage, why He wouldn’t give me the desires of my heart, why He wasn’t answering my prayers and being true to His word. I knew He believed in marriage, but I started to think He didn’t want to restore mine, that He really did have someone better for me. (Nice for me to behave this way huh? Come to find out when He lead me to RMI, He didn’t answer me because I had doubt and unbelief, and what was worse, I put my restoration before Him, while I was still drinking and partying.)

After a year of fighting for my marriage, I quit. I became angry with God. I was mad that He wasn’t doing what His word said. I just woke up one morning and said I quit, I can’t do this anymore. Right before this, guys were starting to hit on me, wanted to spend time with me, and get to know me, or so that’s what I thought. So, I fell into the devil’s schemes and temptation. I told myself my husband doesn’t want anything to do with me, but these other people do, so forget him, his loss.

Everyone had told me to move on, that I was doing the right thing, that my husband was happy, made his choice, and had moved on with his life, so I needed to move on with mine and stop wasting my life away. They told me he was going out and having fun as they would see him out with his ex and I heard about his family coming down and them going out. So, since he was doing these things, I thought it was okay if I did them. So, I did. (However, my husband has control and knows when to stop. I didn’t, I would just go wild.) I would go out and drink so much, that I would get myself into trouble, I wouldn’t have any control or know what I was doing. Yes, I committed adultery. I went from one extreme to the other, I had no balance whatsoever.

A week went by without me reaching out or contacting my husband, which was unusual, so he sent me a text stating he hadn’t heard from me in a while and that he was just ready to file for divorce. I didn’t respond. In my head, I was like fine, go ahead, I am done, one day you will regret your decisions. But, he never filed. I continued on this path of destruction, and my husband would text me from time to time. This pattern continued for about 4 months, from the end of June to October.

At the end of October, I was told that the ex and the girls moved out of state, and my husband was to move at a later date. I was thrilled and thanked God because I had prayed for them to move so I wouldn’t have to see them anymore or hear about them going out, etc. I felt like this was an answer to my prayers. (Later, I would regret praying for this. But God is in control and He works all things out for our good.)

After this occurred, my husband started contacting me more, he actually called verses texting. Then in November, my husband came to the house to pick up something. By this time I stopped living and doing what I was doing and started asking and questioning God as to why my husband was starting to contact me and reach out to me again. I didn’t understand at all, it made no sense. Anyways, when he came over that day, he wanted to be intimate, but I didn’t think or feel it was right having done what I had done and him treating me the way he had the past year or so. I was cold toward him. Throughout the month and into December, our communication picked up.

By mid-December, he wanted to come over one night, so he did. We ended up being intimate. Of course, I felt bad because of what I had done, I hadn’t told him. During the month of December and into January, things were great. We started to see each other more, and we even spent New Year’s together! It was an amazing time and on New Year’s he brought over one of our favorite meals we used to share, it was so sweet and thoughtful. I was happy but still didn’t know his motives and still questioned God as to why this was happening. I didn’t understand and I wanted to.

So, in late January or February, I contacted the counselor from the program I signed up for. I asked him what I should do, which I now know was wrong! I should have gone to the real Counselor. Because this counselor told me that I needed to have a conversation with my husband and tell him that I had fought for the marriage for a year and then gave up and to find out what his intentions are. So, one night my husband came over and I asked him. I still didn’t confess to my adultery. He just said he didn’t know. That he didn’t know his plans. He didn’t know if he was going to stay here or move to where his kids were. Of course this hurt, it was like he always chose his kids over everything, still. I felt used and like I didn’t matter to him. I felt like I was just there. I felt like I was not important and last on his list of people to see or spend time with. But we continued to see each other twice a month and chat once a week. He was always busy with work or helping other people. Again, he was always too busy to spend time with me, at least that’s what I felt and what it seemed like.

So I started to implement the program again but things didn’t progress and my husband seemed to distance himself from me again. (One reason for this was because I was pursuing him like the program said.) I would also pray and cry out to God for understanding and why was this happening again. I would ask Him to tell me the Truth and what His will for my life was. I didn’t know if He wanted me with my husband or if He wanted me to move on. I just didn’t understand why things weren’t getting better. At the end of February, I lost my house and had to move back in with my mother, along with my son.

Time went by and things continued to be the same. We would meet for just an hour or 2, be intimate and go our separate ways. I really felt like a piece of meat. During these encounters or after them, the devil really played mind tricks on me and spoke all kinds of things to me.

I had shoulder surgery in May and again in June, I had a really bad health scare. God had been telling me to stop doing what I was doing for a while, but I didn’t listen. Remember, I am hard headed and it takes the 2 x4 method for me to get things. Anyway, I made it to the doctor and I was diagnosed with an ED “Eating Disorder” and hyponatremia (low sodium concentration in the blood). I was told that if I didn’t come in when I did, then I could have been in a coma or dead! PTL that He saved me! Since I was diagnosed with an ED, they sent me to a treatment center. Immediately, I knew this wasn’t for me. I didn’t want to admit that I had an ED or needed their help dealing with it. (Later, I would learn from RMI, that going to these type things isn’t of God, so I quit going. I knew it wasn’t right and it made me feel horrible about myself when I attended.) While recovering from all this, I began searching again for the truth, mostly online. That’s when God led me to RMI, this was the end of June, early July.

I immediately got the eBook, “How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage.” Upon reading the first few opening pages, it was there that I got the answers to the questions I had been asking God for so long. I was in awe and just amazed! I was so thankful and I couldn’t get enough. I just wanted more and more. I wanted to know all His truth and principles. I finally knew that God wanted and could restore my marriage, despite all the mistakes I had made.

Being a math teacher, I tend to like things in a step format. RMI’s resources provided me with that, giving me the steps or the road map to the journey. It equipped me with the information and knowledge of how to handle certain situations, so I would handle them in the way God would want me to handle them, instead of the way I would do it. I praise Him for this truth. As soon as I could, I signed up for the online courses. I read and read “How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage” and “A Wise Woman.” These material renewed my mind and it made me understand God’s word and His principles in a new light. A lot of the scriptures that these materials contain are the same ones that God lead me to in that first year. Yet at that time, being a new believer and being alone on the journey, I didn’t fully understand. I doubted that His word and principles were for me. I didn’t believe He would do things for me. I didn’t deserve it. I just thought it was amazing how God had tried to teach me and show me the Truth but I wasn’t strong enough and I didn’t take Him at His word like RMI taught me to do. RMI taught me what it was like and how to have an intimate relationship with Him, and how to make the Lord my HH. God in His mercy and grace gave me another chance, another chance to do things right, His way! I am forever grateful.

He transformed me again and continues to mold me into His Bride with a gentle and quiet spirit which is precious in His sight. He loves me so much He didn’t give up on me, though I gave up on Him and was angry at Him. He continues to make me the wife, mother, and woman He has called me to be. I finally submitted to Him and surrendered my life. I let go of everything, casted my cares on Him, and I said, okay God, Your will be done, do with me whatever You wish, I am Yours.That’s when He went to work! He had to teach me so many things and change me in so many ways, once again. I was a rebellious child, so moving in with my mother, I had to learn how to honor and respect her. I had to learn how to be submissive to my husband and keep my mouth shut. I had to learn how to build my house upon the Rock and His principles. I had to learn EVERYTHING that the RMI resources provided which is mostly scriptures. So, here I was, I knew I had to go through the journey again. However, this time God was in control, not me, and I would finally get out of the way and not pursue my husband.

Another breakthrough was in July, when I started tithing, half to RMI and half to Joyce Meyer Ministries. Prior to tithing I didn’t understand why nothing had changed and things weren’t getting better. But when I tithed faithfully for 3 months, at the end of September my husband called me on a Sunday and proceeded to tell me he was moving out of state and going to live with his ex and girls again. Though I didn’t know this was God moving my restoration forward. I just Praise God for Him teaching me to keep my mouth shut and to get out of my husband’s way. I didn’t say anything. Yes I cried because I was hurt, but I let him go! I knew nothing I would say would change his mind anyway; he always chose them before anyone else. I was like the last person to know that he was moving, but I was thankful he told me and he wanted to see me before he left, which was the upcoming Friday. (Later, I learned that his oldest daughter and a few friends told him not to move, so I’d been wrong about their intentions). So, I felt like things were just like they were at the beginning, he was leaving me all over again. But I was wrong.

We met on a Thursday, the day before he moved. He told me it wasn’t goodbye and that “we would figure this out.” We both cried, hugged and kissed. I knew then that I needed to look to my HH and not at the situation or I would sink. I knew I had to keep Him FIRST and trust Him, He knew what He was doing, He is in control. I knew He would work things out for my good. I finally trusted Him. I didn’t understand fully at the time why He allowed him to leave, but I just dove into His word and the materials from RMI. I learned that sometimes people had to be lead to the slaughter before they get it, I know I sure did, several times. When this happened, I renewed my mind and learned that I wasn’t tithing to my storehouse, so I immediately changed that (I actually did this before my husband moved, so things did get better but not great. We saw each other more and spent more time together. So, that is why it was hard when he left and I didn’t understand why.) However, I came across the scripture again that says, “he that conceals his sin, will not prosper.” I had read this verse several times before, but this time it hit me. I knew that was it! I knew that my situation wasn’t better because I was hiding my sins from my husband. I knew I needed to confess, but I didn’t want to. It took a lot but I said, okay God…I am going to take You at Your word and do what Your word says, I am going to go out on a limb and tell my husband.

Since this was delicate, I didn’t want to do this via phone, so I waited until I could do it in person. Two weeks later, my husband came into town. He wanted to see me. We met and talked about things that were going on, etc. Then, he wanted to be intimate, so I caved in. In my opinion, this probably wasn’t the smartest decision. Anyways, he drove me back to my car and upon departing, I said that I needed to tell him something. I knew I had to do it or it would be a month or so before I got another opportunity. So, I confessed. He was hurt and felt used, like a piece of meat. He didn’t get angry or raise his voice. He wasn’t really surprised and thought I would have done that after he first left. He had secretly hoped that I would have found someone else and moved on, had a new family. He didn’t have much else to say after that, but who could blame him. I left, got into my car and immediately prayed. I couldn’t move.

God works in mysterious ways, He is truly amazing! After that, He opened the floodgates and blessings started pouring out in my life. All that weekend, my husband texted or emailed me. Yes, things he would say were hurtful, but I deserved it. But I agreed with everything he said and we began to heal. He didn’t know if he could forgive me or if he could move on from this. He said he never once did anything or thought about doing anything like that.

Boy, did I feel like an idiot. I assumed or thought that he had and that he was happy with his ex. I would hear about them going out or I would see them together and it tore me up and down. I thought they were sharing a bed together, but they never did. He’d slept on the couch. I reasoned and was told that because he’d been unfaithful it was okay for me to be too! I was told all that I did was okay because we were separated, and I believed it! Deep down I knew it wasn’t right, but I wanted it to be, so I justified it in my head. Please don’t fall for this trap.

At one point, he said he didn’t know if we could move on from here or if it would be better to get a divorce and then start all over. Thankfully for the teachings of RMI and the Bible, I was able to inform him that if that was his choice, I understood and didn’t blame him at all. I told him that if he decided to do that, than to please not include me in the process. I told him I wouldn’t contest it, hire a lawyer, or sign. As soon as I said that, he never brought it up or said anymore about it. But things really changed for the better, God began to turn my situation around!

After two weeks of being gone, my husband wanted to move back! Unfortunately, with his company, you have to wait a year before you can get another transfer. But I knew God said nothing is impossible with Him. I knew that if it was His will, HE could get the transfer to go through. My husband told me he was sorry and shouldn’t have left me alone for so long. He just got tied up in work and kept his mind off of it. I didn’t blame him, I knew why all this had happened. I knew why he had left. God had to change me and get my attention. He is a jealous God and He wanted to be first in my life. I just had to learn the hard way and go through things twice.

There is a part of me that thinks that if I didn’t give up after a year, because things got bad between us, then God would have restored my marriage before He did. I think this because things usually get worse right before a breakthrough, however, God has a plan, and He needed me to go through it twice. He wanted me to find RMI and rely, trust, and believe on Him to restore my marriage, not me or anything I had done, certainly not that program I was implementing. It had to be in His timing and by His power. He had to do it, He gets all the glory, honor, and praise! He had to teach me His principles and how to build things on Him. He had to teach me how to have an intimate relationship with Him, to make Him my HH, and my everything. I am so thankful that He led me to RMI because when my husband first left, I told God that if He restored my marriage, then I would devote my life to helping others restore their marriages. At that time, I wanted to and thought I had to go back to school and get my degree to do this. I didn’t know how this would be possible financially. However, He is so good. He saved me from going back to school to learn all the psychology and their methods, which I know don’t work. I am so thankful that He has spared me from that because it tried to do away with Christianity. I know that through RMI, I may be given the opportunity to help other women and stand with them so they don’t fall like I did. I know God can use my story and me to work things out for good for others and myself. Yes, I am in the Minister in Training program and awaiting to see if I am given the opportunity to progress further. I know He will allow it if it’s His will.

As I said, my husband put in a transfer request and said fortunately he knows people high up in the company that maybe could get it to go through sooner. But I knew only God could make it happen if it was His will. I began to hurt for him because he was miserable where he was, he hated it, and his income was cut in half. I hated to watch him suffer. My husband would come back once or twice a month and he would spend the entire time with me! Before it was just a few hours. Our 7th anniversary was Oct. 2nd, and he sent me flowers to where I worked! I was shocked as he hadn’t done that or given me anything in 2 years! God is amazing! He sent me a message that morning, before I got the flowers, saying he was sorry he wasn’t there to celebrate. I was just thankful he remembered. Prior to that, probably about a week after he was gone, he sent me his favorite t-shirt of his to sleep with. It was so cute. From the moment I confessed my sin, my husband started pursuing me. He would call several times a day, and our relationship started to grow.

All this time, I didn’t think anyone knew about us still being married, except for my family and close friends. I assumed that his daughters, ex, and his family and friends thought that we were divorced. Come to find out, nothing is as it seems. They did know. I don’t know who told people we weren’t married, but it wasn’t my husband whom I’d thought.

I had been praying for so long for God to open up the doors of communication between my step daughters and I. My prayers were answered, when the oldest step daughter started reaching out to me. She even wanted me to come down during Thanksgiving, it was her idea! She wanted me to look at colleges with her. So, God arranged it where I could go down and was able to spend Thanksgiving weekend with her and my husband! It was amazing, it was like time wasn’t lost between us. I know God has called our family to be our first mission field, so I am praying He restores my family. I know He will in His time. I am the one who tore my house down and He will help me build it back. I was unable to spend my birthday, which is in December, or Christmas with my husband, but he was able to come visit the weekend after Christmas. During this month, he found out that he would be transferred but didn’t know when; amazingly God allowed it to go through! My husband knew he would be moving back but didn’t know when. He would tell me he would live with a friend for a while until he got caught up financially, but he would still mention renting our own house. I was thankful that God put that on his mind. He even allowed my husband to start looking for places online and when he came to visit that week after Christmas, we looked at houses together. It was amazing and I was so thankful. When I would become too pushy or try to do things my way or take over, things would get bad. I knew I needed to step back and let my husband be the “savior” of the family.

Let me tell you how amazing and wonderful my HH is. My husband found a house to look at online. Being he was out of town, that left me to go look at it. By the second week in January, my husband told me to try to get the place, so I did. We were told that we had it. So, I got online and filled out the application, etc. A few days later, I was told that another family had gotten the house. I was sad, not at the fact that we didn’t get the house, but because we would be living apart and my son and I would still be at my mother’s. Yet I knew that God was in control and if He didn’t want us to have the house, then He had bigger and better things in store for us. I knew that it was His will, I was okay with it. I knew that I must not be ready to have a restored marriage and build my house on the Rock like I wanted. I knew there were things I still needed to learn, and I would pray for Him to teach me.

We continued to look for houses. By this time, my husband was told that he could move back February 1st. He was thankful and so was I. However, he didn’t know where he would live. Sunday, January 25th, the weekend before he was to move back, I got a text from the lady who was renting that one house that I mentioned. She told me that the other family had something come up and couldn’t go through with the move, so it was still available! (I had a sense that this would happen.) My husband told me to go ahead and try to get it, but that Wednesday, I was told that I didn’t make enough to rent the house. (You have to make 3 times the amount of the rent per month. As a school teacher, yeah, we don’t make that kind of money.) So, I told my husband and he said, well, what about if I am on the lease and they have my info! Isn’t God amazing? He filled out the forms and Friday, January 30th around 1:30-2:30pm, we were told we were accepted! This was the day before my husband was to come home! God is wonderful and works wonders! He wanted my husband and I both to be on the lease! Our prior home was just in my name. It just amazes me how all this is unfolding. God’s beautiful unfolding.

It’s been a week and a half since my HH has restored my marriage. I pray daily that He helps me build it on the Rock and His principles since I tore it down and cremated it and all the relationships. It is going to take a long time for things between my family and my husband to improve. They don’t understand why this happened and are angry with him for abandoning my son and I. Most of their opinion stems from when I slandered my husband to my parents and friends. So because of my words and my actions, they have certain opinions about my husband. They are also more focused on the world’s ways of dealing with problems and think divorce is okay. My youngest step daughter, who I have not spoken to, still resents me. She feels like I didn’t allow her father to be a dad to her. She has a right to feel this way, because it is true. She wants to have a conversation with me and if she thinks I am lying, she is going to call me out on it. I pray that God speaks through me when this time comes, I pray that she sees Him and sees the changes He has made in me. He is going to have to give me His words to say to her. I pray He turns her heart towards me. I pray that He allows me to be strong spiritually and help me teach my step daughters what is good and right. My step daughters are great and they know God. However, I want them to have a personal relationship with Him. I want to help them not fall into the same traps I did. They are typical teenagers. I pray that I may be a positive influence on them. I want them to have a good example and know how to build a marriage, so they don’t fall to the devil’s schemes. They haven’t had a good example up to this point in their lives on how a marriage is supposed to operate or look. (Neither did I and I want more for them and my son.)

Another change is that God is transforming my husband into the spiritual leader and godly man He has called him to be. I pray that He continues to work on Him. I pray that between Him, and my husband and I, we can teach the kids God’s ways. They just don’t know and I don’t want them to perish for a lack of knowledge. I want my husband to be the head of the household which he has never been, not even in his previous marriage. I am asking God to help me submit and respect him and to be an example to the kids so they know how to build their lives on the Rock, that they don’t go through the stuff I went through. Yes, I am asking for a lot but I know God is a restorer of families and relationships are important to Him. It is going to take His hand on this and His miracle working power to change my family and the situation. He can do it!

However, I miss my time with Him since being restored. There is a lot of drama that I knew I would have to deal with and didn’t want to deal with before God restored my marriage. I didn’t want to deal with my step kids and their resentment towards me or the ex and her shenanigans. I knew it would be a huge trial. (However, my heartaches for her and I am sad for her as I know how she feels and what she is going through since she found out that my husband was moving in with me. I pray for her and for God to bring her to a point of brokenness and to find Him. I know hurting people hurt people. I know she is hurting and has been for a long time. I pray for God to intervene in her life and help her.)

I kept telling God, I didn’t know if I wanted restoration anymore, I didn’t want to have to deal with it. I knew it would be extremely difficult and I didn’t think I was strong enough or am strong enough to deal with things. I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I can’t do it, but with Him I can. I am relying on my HH more than ever. He is my number One. The devil keeps telling me, you don’t want this, you don’t want this, it won’t work out, etc. But, I know my HH. I know His word and He hates divorce. I know what He has joined together to let no man separate. I cry out to Him daily to help me and change me—helping me to have and feel the way He wants me to, to have love for my husband and family. Even now the devil keeps bringing up how my step daughter treated me and wants me to have bitterness and unforgiveness towards her, and for the things my husband did. I continue to pray for God to erase my memory and help me to forgive again and again: Lord, forgive them for they know not what they do. I know He will be faithful to do this for me.

Either way, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with in conclusion? *

I am so in love with my HH, not because of what He has done for me, but because of Who He is. He is my Rock, He is the One I run to, He is my Counselor, my Friend. HE is the Only One on whom I can depend. He is my salvation. I am so thankful, my words do not do justice, and don’t express how grateful I am for all He has done for me. He has taken me, the biggest sinner, and transformed me into His bride. I am nothing without Him, but with Him I am everything. I know who I am in Him and I have security and confidence because of what I have in Him, not in myself. All the bad qualities I had, He removed them and replaced them with His qualities. Yes, I still need refining and I still make mistakes. I am not perfect, but I thank Him that I am not the nightmare of a woman that I was. I came to the point of brokenness and allowed Him to change me. He made me a gentle and quiet spirit, joyful, happy, radiant, secure, confident, humble, caring, kind, gracious, respectful, submissive, faithful, no more rebellion or alcoholism, no more addiction to men and attention. He replaced me with His qualities. Again, He is still perfecting those, I am a work in progress. I don’t deserve anything He has done in my life because of all the mistakes I have made, but He is bigger and His grace is bigger than anything I could ever do. His forgiveness and mercy is bigger and new every morning. PTL!

How did God change your situation as you sought Him wholeheartedly? *

God changed my situation several times, but it wasn't until I found RMI that I sought Him wholeheartedly. He taught me His principles and showed me the kind of woman I needed to be. He had to change me before He changed the situation. Once I found RMI and started doing each thing His way, He turned my husband's heart back to me. He had to get me to surrender and let Him take over and be in control. Once I turned my focus on Him and pursued Him, that's when my husband started pursuing me, that's when He turned his heart more to me.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), did the Lord teach you during this trial? *

I had to learn every principle the RMI resources and God's Word provided. No, I don't know every or all His principles, but I know if I continue to SG, He will teach me and lead me on the straight and narrow. I had to learn to put Him first, to make Him my HH, and have an intimate relationship with Him. I had to learn to let my husband go and stop pursuing him, to keep my mouth shut, be gentle and quiet. I had to learn to not be rebellious, contentious, manipulative and controlling. I had to learn how to submit, honor, and respect my husband, and honor and respect my parents. I had to learn how to tithe to my storehouse and confess my sins. I had to learn what God says about marriage and His principles. I had to learn that psychology methods and counseling was wrong. I had to learn how to build my marriage and relationships on the Rock. I had to learn to agree with my enemy and not argue scriptures with anyone. I had to learn to help others and comfort those instead of being focused on myself. I had to learn to keep my eyes on Him and that He is in control of all things, that He allows trials to come on us for our testing, for our good. I had to learn that a lot of times things get worse right before they get better. I had to learn to take Him at His word, to trust and rely on Him. I had to learn that His principles and promises were for me, that He loves me and wants the best for me, He has a good plan for me. I had to learn to surrender my life to Him. Every principle that the RMI resources contain, I had to learn. I didn't have a good example of how a woman was to be or how a marriage should operate, so I turned into what I was exposed to growing up. That is what turned me into a monster.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through? *

The most difficult times were during the first year after my husband left when I found out he went to live with his ex and kids again. Also, when I was coaching volleyball and my husband and his ex would show up to games together and sit by each other. She would put her arm around him or touch his leg, or least it appeared to be so. I would hear about them going out and going on trips together. People would talk and think that we were divorced, but we weren't. The third difficult time, was when I came to the realization that I was mad and angry at God for not restoring my marriage in a year's time. I didn't understand and I didn't think He was true to His word and promises. Another difficult time was when I had to confess my sin of adultery to my husband.

What was the “turning point” of your restoration? *

Things in my restoration started to get better when I began tithing to my storehouse and putting down the bottle, so to speak. However, things didn't fully turn around until I confessed my sin of adultery to my husband.

Tell us HOW it happened? Did your husband just walk in the front door? *

No, my husband didn't get to walk through the front door because I lost the house a year before God restored our marriage. My husband got a transfer with his job within 4 months of having decided to move out of state, which isn't supposed to happen. They are supposed to wait a full year before they can transfer back or somewhere else! PTL! God put it in my husband's heart to search for a house, where as before he was planning on moving in with a friend. God provided us with a house the day before my husband moved back in state! It was amazing!

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women? *

Yes, most definitely!!!

Did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored? *

Yes, I could tell restoration was getting close and I started to panic. I didn't think I was ready or could handle it. I didn't think I wanted God to restore my marriage anymore. I cried out to Him.

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you? *

For women interested in restoring their marriages, I would highly recommend the Bible, How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage, A Wise Woman, By Word of Their Testimony, and the online courses .

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you? *

God can and will restore your marriage! Trust and believe on Him. Take Him at His word. What He had done for me, He will do for you. Just work with Him, not against Him. Let Him work in His timing, not your timing. He knows what is best for you. He is in control, He knows what He is doing. When things get rough, hold on, your breakthrough is coming. In everything, look to Him and you will make it. Don’t take your eyes off of Him or you will sink. Please make Him your HH and the Lord of Your life. Keep Him FIRST in all things and He will give you the desires of your heart. He will bless you above and beyond all your hopes, dreams, and imaginations. He is looking for people to bless. Soak up His word, meditate on it day and night. Pray His word back to Him, it will not return to Him void, it will accomplish what He says He will. His promises are for you. You are special and He loves you. He wants you and wants to be close to you. He wants to help you in every area of your life, big or small. Take His hand and allow Him to lead you. Keep on the straight and narrow path. He will give you the victory, just hold onto Him! Thank you my HH. I love you so much, with all my heart, soul and mind. I am forever grateful.

Update: When GOD restores marriages, He continues, which is why we explain this is a Restoration Journey. He restores many relationships and continues to restore after marriages too as this Praise Report shows.

“Living a Miracle”

Before I begin, I want to ask forgiveness for not writing a PR for a while because He has and is truly blessing me and I have so much to be thankful for.

My Beloved is working Mightily in the lives of my family, and I am living through and in a miracle, it is truly amazing.

You see, when my EH and I were separated for almost 3 years, there was a time my Love allowed me to move back into my mother's house, due to me needing to learn respect for my mother. During the first year of my RJ, I had the support of my friends and family to restore my marriage, for the most part.

But after that first year when nothing changed or happened, things actually got worse. My friends no longer supported me and my family kept telling me that I needed to give up and move on with my life. Most of us have heard those things before and I did listen to them and gave up, but that is another story.

Praise Him, He got me back on track and pulled me back to Him. Then things started to change and my EH started calling and we would see each other from time to time. One night, I overheard my mother talking with my aunt on the phone about my EH because they knew we were talking. The things they were saying broke my heart, but one of the things they kept saying was that he would never be welcomed in either of their homes or around any family functions ever again, that he couldn't be trusted, etc.

Well, we do not know what our Love has in store for us or what His plans are. We know that He can change hearts in an instant.

Back in May, things started to change with my mother, maybe even before then. She began talking about us all living together, meaning my EH, son, her, and I. This summer, my EH and I were looking for houses to rent near the school I was going to put my son in, and in the area that would be closer to my EH's jobs. We needed to get out of our lease immediately. We found a place, but it just didn't feel right to my EH, financially.

I kept trusting in Him and I knew He would work everything out for good and according to His plan. I was trusting Him for a new job as well, since I was moving my son to a private school and my EH wanted to be closer to his work. I could have been selfish, but I knew I needed to submit.

We ended up moving into my mother's house at the end of July! My EH and my mother talk all the time and he helps fix things around her house. Plus, she has allowed one of my step-daughters and her boyfriend to come over for Sunday dinners, as a family! Thank you, Lord.

Not only is this truly amazing, but my cousin was in town, and my aunt invited all of us over for a family gathering! I am just flabbergasted and in awe of how He is working in my life and the lives of my family. He has been changing each of us. He is so good.

When I would hear my family speak badly about my EH, the thought would cross my mind that they would never change or accept him. But then, I would go talk to my Love and say Your Will be done. I just gave it to Him and didn't worry about it. He transformed things quickly.

I am truly thankful and I just praise Him. I love You my Love and I thank You.

Proverbs 16:9 “A man’s mind plans his way [as he journeys through life], But the Lord directs his steps and establishes them.”

My family was so sure that they would never ever accept my EH or have him in their house, but He knows and plans differently! He knows what He is doing. He has bigger things in store for us. Isaiah 55:9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts higher than your thoughts.

Proverbs 21:1 “The king’s heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord; He turns it whichever way He wishes.”

He changed my heart, my EH's heart, my mother's, aunt's, and cousins heart.

Deuteronomy 30:3 “then the Lord your God will restore your fortunes [in your return from exile], and have compassion on you, and will gather you together again from all the peoples (nations) where He has scattered you.”

He is restoring my family, piece by piece. He is putting us together like a puzzle, every piece has its perfect place and only He knows how it all fits together.