Before My Deadline

Restored BEFORE My Deadline!

God is good! For months my husband was in adultery, but it wasn't until the last 3 months that things had gotten bad. He wasn't coming home, and he was leaving work during his shift just to be with the OW. He said he was confused and wanted us both.

I stayed because God hadn't put it in my heart to leave. I vowed to God that I was going to stick to my marriage and not let go if it! I began prayer and fasting... I started to see my husband in God’s eyes as His child that needed prayer! I knew that God was working in both of our lives!

I found Restore Ministries through a google search. The ability to post a prayer request on the RMI site was awesome. I loved being prayed for as well as praying for others!

I read Power of a Praying Wife and talked with many of the women from church; and that got me through a lot! We were car-less, the only car we had, had died. We were kicked out of where we were living, and my husband was in adultery the whole time. Let me tell you if God didn't help me I don't know where I'd be right now!

God did all the work. I kept giving Him the situation! I learned that the Holy Spirit and I can't be both working on the same thing! God blessed us with a new car, and an apartment. I was driving him home from work (he never drives) but then he asked that I pull over so he could drive! He drove us home, and then parked at a parking lot. He spilled out everything that he had lied about, and then started to say that he wanted our marriage to work! That he never wanted to live without his family again!!

I had put a deadline on how long I thought I would be able to stay, my husband came clean within 2 weeks of that deadline! Please don't give up!! With the help of the Lord, my praying family, a wonderful pastor and RMI and everyone's prayers my husband has left the OW and wants to do what it takes to make our marriage work!

I have learned that there is nothing impossible for God. Give HIM the honor and the glory!! He never left me, He just made me stronger in my faith. As a person without God I would have left my husband many months ago. But with God's grace I was able to stay in our home and in prayer for my husband and our marriage!

Anna in Illinois, not a member, RESTORED!

God Restores Above and Beyond!

On May 3, 2003, I kicked my husband out of our apartment. 2 days later I realized a made a mistake and told him I wanted him to come home. He told me he was never coming back and that he wanted a divorce. I was shocked! I beg and pleaded with him for the next 2-3 weeks! I spoke with his family, family priest, friends etc. to no avail. At one point he agreed to go to counseling with me and humiliated me by telling the counselor that he should have never married me, and that he made a huge mistake. I then begged him to consider a Marriage retreat and he said "NO, why don't you go by yourself?" He told me that he didn't love me anymore!

I was devastated and felt like my heart had been torn out! I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep and I was stressed! At that point, I knew the situation was hopeless. There was nothing I could do! The devil attacked me from every point with confusion, despair, and hopelessness. I thought that since God allowed free will, I had to let my husband go and move one. I was so naive and immature in terms of my relationship with GOD and His Word. I finally began looking online for help and sought information regarding marriage restoration. Eventually someone led me to your site! I was so excited!!

One day, I finally decided that I had to finally let go of my husband and let GOD! I stopped seeking advice and did not encourage family and friends to speak with him again. I began applying all the principles stated in the Restore Your Marriage book. I stopped calling him about the bills and gave my life to GOD. This relieved a huge burden on me. The more intimate I became with GOD the more He strengthened me. One day after getting attacked and persecuted by the enemy, I came home and fell on my knees to GOD.

I cried out to Him and let Him know I was hurting and in pain! I told Him that I needed His strength because I couldn't do it anymore! I confessed my sins one by one to the Lord. I cried until I couldn't cry anymore. My spirit was broken! Suddenly, I felt a presence take over my whole body and lift me up! It was the HOLY SPIRIT!! I began speaking in tongues! God had baptized me and given me salvation. From that moment on my life had CHANGED for the better. My hope was renewed and I was strengthened!

My husband's heart began to soften....on my birthday he sent flowers, he told me he still loved me, etc. He would either call to discuss the separation of our bills, just to say hi, to discuss random issues. He was no longer rude, abrupt, cold, etc. It was an amazing transformation! He still was very formal and gave no signs that he was coming back home but I knew better! God gave me signs through prophetic words as well as spoke to me during my fasts!

He gave me Scriptures that spoke of Restoration and HEALING. I began noticing that my hunger and thirst for the Lord was unquenchable. I filled my hours watching Christian TV, fellowshipping with other believers, and reading HIS Word. It was not easy but as time progressed I felt LOVE, PEACE, and JOY. It got to the point where I didn't even worry anymore. During this time, I would get attacked frequently from the enemy. He would attack my faith, etc. But I gave thanks, prayed and praised GOD everyday, especially whenever I was feeling discouraged or down.

He taught me that He was the one in control. God showed me that when there was no way HE was the way. He showed me that He loves us unconditionally no matter what...and he made me confess that "HE IS GOD"! I knew that God had allowed this to happen to teach me the errors of my ways. God delivered me from evil and claimed me as HIS own! He taught me what it truly meant to be a wife and showed me that I was destined to fail with out HIS presence in my life!

Yes, there were the times when my husband repeatedly rejected me that I thought I couldn't bear it. I was so hurt! There were many nights that I cried myself to sleep. During those times, for some reason God always managed to provide words of comfort through Christian TV, friends, and a renewed sense of hope the next morning. I always end up feeling better a couple of hours later as a result of His Word edifying me!

One day I decided to write my husband a letter simply admitting my faults and asking for his forgiveness. I held on to it and waited for a sign from GOD when I could send it. A friend of the family told me that she had spoken to him and he said he would be willing to go out with me if I asked! I was excited, however, confused. I knew I was not supposed to accept advice from others and contact my husband. I said a weak prayer, sought scripture and against my better judgment called my husband. The conversation was very awkward...I finally shared with him that I had a letter to give him. He said that he would pick it up the next day but never showed up. I praised GOD that he didn't show up because I knew it was not HIS will that we interact! My husband called me the next day and apologized for not coming and told me to place the letter in the mail.

About a week and a half later, he emailed me to let me know that he did receive my letter. He told me that he forgave me months ago but was moving on with his life. This HURT me so much and I cried. I went immediately into my prayer closet, praying to GOD and asking Him to send his angels to help me in this battle. I told myself that Satan was a liar and therefore did not bother responding to that email. I still had faith that it wasn't over.

Now the miracle begins! For the next 2 weeks, my husband began to call me just to say hi or to chit chat. He was thinking about me! He gave me compliments and noticed that I had lost weight (through prayer and fasting). One morning, I was feeling so good about myself, I literally was rejoicing in the LORD! During my moment in adoration of GOD, my husband called me. I said to him "Isn't it a great morning?" I then asked him if I could call him back.

We played phone tag all day! Of course, all sorts of crazy thoughts ran through my mind! Like, "Why is he calling me?" Finally, at the end of the day, we connected and my husband asked me if I still wanted to work things out. What?! I responded with a Yes! Inside I was doing back flips and cart wheels! However, I was very calm. He told me to get the information about the Marriage Retreat and send it to him! This is the same retreat that I had begged him to attend at the beginning of the summer!

It gets better! A week later he began sending me house listings and asked me to take a look. The next day, I had to ask him why he was sending them to me. He told me that a condition of our restoration was that we find a new place together! Now we are in the process of getting approved for a mortgage and have been looking for a home! WHAT a MIRACLE FROM GOD!

I kicked my husband out on May 3, 2003 and he restored my marriage in August of 2003. My husband wants to take things slow and concentrate on being friends. However, I know that the victory is already ours! All of the principles from the workbooks work! My husband told me that he woke up one morning and decided that he didn't want to live his life as a "single man" anymore and decided to give "us" another chance. God had spoken to him! My sister-in-law stated that my husband told her that I didn't call him and left him alone which gave him time to think about our situation. So this really helped! Don't call him, don't e-mail, don't send cards... NOTHING!

My advice to others is that no matter how bad things look, remember that GOD is always in control. Don't believe the hurtful, negative things that your spouse tells you. They're all lies!!

God Bless!

Angela in Massachusetts, RMI Fellowship Member, RESTORED!

Then we received this letter...

There is more to my testimony!

Prior to the marriage retreat, my husband repeatedly told me that he felt nothing for me, and that he didn't love me. After the weekend retreat was over, he told me that he was thankful God had brought us back to each other and that he still loved me.

We were searching for a home; however, my husband told me that his career was now his priority. He mentioned that he wouldn't have time to devote to a new home etc, marriage. My flesh wanted to pressure him to move back in with me, and to devote more time to us etc., but of course, I gave it to GOD in prayer. I reminded God of His WORD and prayed that my husband would leave his parents' home and that we would no longer live independent of one another.

Although my husband was ready to reconcile, he was not in a hurry to move back in with me. At some point, my husband began to spend nights at the apartment with me. My father became increasingly upset and confronted my husband. My father thought he was dishonoring me by sleeping with me then leaving. My husband honored my father's request and stated that we would begin looking for houses immediately! This was after much prayer and submission to my husband's comments and obviously orchestrated by GOD.

Eventually, he stopped sleeping at his mother's house and stayed with me permanently until we moved into our new house on December 19, 2004. Not to mention our mortgage broker stated she couldn't believe how excellent my credit was based upon how much debt I had acquired!

We closed on our house, November 29, 2004. I have to admit that I had some weak points and began reacting to my husband in the flesh. For example, he no longer wants to wear his wedding ring. This deeply hurt me and I asked him about it. He then lashed out that I was pressuring him and that he was not getting anything out of this marriage. He also would throw back in my face: "I thought you had changed, etc."

To this day, my husband states the only reason why he came back is because I changed. I knew that once we got back together there would be much spiritual warfare, however, I continued to pray and was blessed by GOD'S GRACE as He answered my prayers. You see, God blesses us in spite of our weaknesses and when we acknowledge who HE IS!

It gets even better, just to show you that God is the one in control. My husband told me that he did not want to have children right now. Whenever people would ask us about children, he would say "it's in God's hands." This would get me so upset inside, because I knew he was the one who was preventing me from getting pregnant (but I also knew this was God's will for me, He was teaching me patience, etc). I told God that I would submit to my husband and made this situation HIS battle. The Holy Spirit inspired me to pray for two things: to have my husband STOP using protection and also to thank GOD for blessing me with children in 2005. I prayed these everyday despite the fact that my husband continuously used birth control... "thou shalt declareth a thing and it will be given unto you," and "walk by faith not by sight..."

Suddenly, my husband stopped using birth control. This was someone who CONSISTENTLY used preventative measures! One day after intimacy, he told me "this has got to stop, what if you get pregnant?" I was so upset, I reacted in the flesh. I repented and then I cried out to God asked him for HIS forgiveness and gave Him praise and Thanksgiving. Next thing you know, I find out I am pregnant!! Again God revealed to me that HE was the one in control and my husband was happy when he found out. The enemy attacked me stating that my husband would not be happy, etc.

God has blessed me by saving my marriage, giving me a home, and giving me a child! He has been so good to me and I can only say it is by HIS GRACE that I have received these blessings. Only because I know that I have fallen short of His Glory more than once.

God has spoken to me on many different occasions and I know that it is in His plans that my husband is saved! HIS hand is in my marriage and in my life...

His Glory has been revealed in my life from the day I kicked out my husband to the day he came back home. GOD forgives, He heals, and He provides!! Remember that HE is the GREAT El Shaddai, capable of doing the impossible! Thank Him for His Son Jesus Christ who allowed us to have this wonderful relationship with GOD our Father. It is through Jesus Christ that we are blessed!!

I will tell my testimony to all who are willing to listen...

PRAISE HIM for HIS MIGHTINESS!

Angela