RESTORED in South Africa

“RESTORED in 3 Months”

+ Part 2

“Run Over by Ex, NOW RESTORED”

I started on the journey to my restoration in September 2013. I had been looking for something that would help me grow and develop my spiritual being as well as help take my focus off my situation. The first thing I learned is that I had been contentious; secondly I learned that I had not put God as my First Love; thirdly I learned that I had build my home on sinking sand. With all this I needed to replace the bad and wrong with the right principles, there was no better place than to do that with the Lord. The lessons I have gone through have elevated my faith and trust in the Lord! I'm now at a point where I confidently say nothing is impossible with God!!!

My seemingly impossible marital situation was just a piece of cake for the Lord. My husband left me on the 15th of March 2013. On the 5th of December he called me to a meeting with his psychologist to tell me he wanted a divorce. He read a long letter of all I did to hurt him, I remained calm right through and acknowledged I was wrong. This is something I would never have done in my own strength, this can only be God. I had to seriously fight the flesh from screaming at him and giving him my list of how he hurt me. I realized that day that God was really working in me. I applied the principles I learned through this ministry and told him I would not like to be divorced but I will not stand in his way if he wants it. I told him if that’s what will make him happy, I will gladly sign the divorce papers. Not only did I just say this but I meant it.

From this day on my husband started making contact twice or more a week to check on the kids and just chit chatting. The frequency of calls increased as the days went by. In January our 2-year old started crèche and he voluntarily offered to pick her up from school everyday. This meant seeing him almost everyday as I was still on maternity leave, I tried by all means to avoid him but when I wasn't home he'd wait for me. The contact improved to regular SMSs during the day as well. On the 13th of February, he came out straight that he had changed his mind about the divorce, praise God! On the 15th of February he moved back home!

Our God is really faithful. We are working on restoration of our marriage and I'm trusting God for complete restoration.

~Busela in South Africa

**Ministry Note: Busela went from Facing Divorce to a Restored Marriage in just 3 Months. Stay tuned for Busela's FULL RESTORED MARRIAGE TESTIMONY that is to follow in an upcoming Daily Encourager on Saturday, August 15,2015

Part 2

“Run Over by Ex, NOW RESTORED”

"Crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.” Corinthians 4:8-9

My seemingly impossible marital situation was just a piece of cake for the Lord. My husband left me and 3 months later he called me to a meeting with his psychologist to tell me he wanted a divorce. During the meeting he read a long letter of all I did to hurt him, but I remained calm right through and acknowledged I was wrong. This is something I would never have done in my own strength, this can only be God. I had to seriously fight the flesh from screaming at him and giving him my list of how he hurt me. I realized that day that God was really working in me. I applied the principles I learned through this ministry and told him I would not like to be divorced but I will not stand in his way if he wants it. I told him if that’s what will make him happy, I will gladly sign the divorce papers. Not only did I just say this but I meant it.

From this day on my husband started making contact twice or more a week to check on the kids and just chit chatting. The frequency of calls increased as the days went by. When our 2-year old started crèche (a nursery where babies and young children are cared for during the working day) and he voluntarily offered to pick her up from school everyday. This meant seeing him almost everyday as I was still on maternity leave, I tried by all means to avoid him but when I wasn't home he'd wait for me. The contact improved to regular SMSs during the day as well. Soon he came out straight that he had changed his mind about the divorce, praise God! And 2 weeks later he moved back home!

When Busela came to us, in her questionnaire she wrote “I am a Christian, got saved in 1998. I have experienced the hand of God upon my life. His grace and unfailing love saw me through a terrible accident when my ex-husband ran me over with a car and when I lost my first child in 2008. I have learnt to fully depend on Him. My husband says his main issues with me is that I'm clingy and demanding.

We got married in 2011, and I'm currently pregnant due in any day and have a 19-month-old daughter. We have five kids in total as my husband has 4 other kids from previous relationships. We live with two of his kids, three in total including mine.

The crux of our problems is my husband's failure to priorities our marriage above all, except God of course, and instead sacrificing our marriage for his 11-year old (who leaves with us). My husband has no boundaries when it comes to this child as a result no discipline. Secondly we have poor communication, we just don't talk, because we do things without communicating, we clash. Thirdly, my husband has no sense of commitment to our marriage, six months into our marriage he was talking divorce after we have a huge disagreement. Fourthly, he is of the view that his children do not have to respect me as I'm not their mother and this he has openly communicated to the 11-year old. Lastly, our intimacy is almost non extent.

We both had to adjust from leaving as a single into a full house and full time parenting of 3 children soon after we got married. He moved out of our home in March, ever since there has been strife and continuous disagreements.

My husband hasn't been cooperative in all counseling sessions we had with our pastors and counsellors either. I believe our issues are minor and can be easily resolved, however there doesn't seem to be willingness from his side. So I want help but my husband doesn't.

Then she began submitting one praise report after another, like this one:

When I came I was separated and I started on the RMI courses right away. Wow God is truly faithful ! Since I am on maternity leave which means, this leave has turned into a spiritual leave and I'm loving every moment of it! In the last month the holy spirit has been prompting me to go on a Facebook fast, I've been resisting for sometime now.

Well this week I decided to get on it for 7 days, one of my prayer points is for God to help me walk in my calling and to experience the glow, contentment and fulfillment spoken about in the lessons. Boy oh boy the glow is so overwhelming, everyone I come into contact with feels God's presence and they just want to stay in my presence. This can only be God!! I'm so much at peace despite my marital situation.

At this point, my husband wasn’t not home yet, but he has asked me to join him to a meeting with his psychologist to bring closure to our situation. I didn’t know what this meant, but I knew that God is in control. In the midst of all this and my Facebook fast, on day 3 of the FB fast, I got a text message from a friend of mine from church asking me to talk with her colleague who is facing challenges in her marriage, I got excited and humbled myself before the Lord to use me as he sees fit. Day 4, again after prayer another friend referred her cousin to me who is faced with marital challenges and asked if I can talk with her, praise God. I am ready and willing to walk in my calling! Whatever God wants me to do, I will gladly do it! Praise God for restoring me back to him as my First love by letting go of FB completely. Step by step He will leads us and I choose to follow Him in all of my ways.

Here is another praise report:

These lessons made me realize that my life wasn't built on the rock, when my marriage hit a crisis, I crumbled. I looked for help everywhere like pastors, family, friends, etc. Furthermore I've always been the one who seeks more and more knowledge, and these lessons opened my eyes that I wasn't applying it what I kept learning.

I am now at a point where I'm just seeking God for my life, live His word, to be a living testimony of His goodness. I'm searching the Word to understand what it means to be a Godly woman, a mother, a wife, and a helpmate.

Before coming to RMI I liked to fix or address matters quickly, and this certainly why this led to being contentious. I'm now on a journey to be patient and lean on God fully. I would have divorced my husband the time that he moved out in order to bring an end to this situation, so I thank God for having taught me to be patient and trust Him on this matter.

Previously I had put my husband and family first, but right now my Lord is first in my love. I live for Him and He is all I need.

Dear Lord, I want to be the kind of woman you have created me to be, change me and do as you see fit in my life. I’ve cut off friends as I do not need them to pull me back to my old life. Please and send me new friend to walk this truth within me. Teach me to be polite when I speak, guard my tongue and heart, to always be considerate to the next person.

Ever since I started on the journey to my restoration, I had been looking for something that would help me grow and now I’m at a point in my life where I confidently say nothing is impossible with God.

If I had to say what changed everything, it was that I previously I had put my husband and family first. NOW my Lord is first in my love. As I said, I live for Him, He is all I need.

~ Busela in South Africa

*Busela means independent and happy in Zulu