Restored After Daughter Shot

“Restored after Daughter Shot”

How did your restoration actually begin? *

This testimony is long overdue but I feel it is working exactly in my Heavenly Husband's timing :)

My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years and married for 2 years, although we have been separated longer than we have been able to enjoy our marriage. The trouble first started on the day of our marriage. We didn't have a traditional wedding, but instead opted to have a court wedding with just us and the officiate. We were to have dinner to celebrate later that evening when my husband accused me of scheming to plan the dinner when I knew he wanted to watch basketball.This took me by complete surprise because the entire dinner was his idea. Needless to say, we did not celebrate our marriage.

This was such a shock because before we got married, things were amazing between my husband and I. We were planning on buying a house and talked about having another child once we got married. Once we got married, however, everything began to spiral down from there, and from that moment on, I knew the enemy was going to do whatever it took to sabotage our union. We married two years after our daughter was shot. Though she recovered, I am sure it took its toll on both of us.

It was only a week after we got married when my husband told me he no longer wanted any kids and did not want to focus on buying a house. This caused us to argued constantly, mostly from me feeling neglected, his smoking and him coming home in the early hours of the morning.

Then in September, my husband left and said he no longer wanted to be with me. Thankfully, a week later he recanted and told me he wanted to do whatever it takes to make our marriage work so we decided to get some counseling from my pastor, which made things worse.

During our first session, my husband informed my pastor and I that he no longer wanted the marriage anymore and he didn't know why he decided to get counseling. A couple of days after, we got into a huge argument when my husband threw his wedding ring outside and said he was getting a divorce.

For days, I made the mistake of begging him to work things out but to no avail. Then one day in December, I had a dream that my husband was in adultery. I woke up in a cold sweat and was going through a panic attack. I called him and asked him if he had been unfaithful to which he denied. The next month I found emails in my account (his email was accidentally synced to my account) where he was propositioning women. I asked him again if he had been unfaithful and he admitted he was a couple of weeks before I had asked him the first time. I was devastated, but I knew that God did not want me to file for divorce. I tried to find every reason and excuse to justify me wanting a divorce and that's when God led me to RMI.

The day I found RMI I immediately began applying the principles and slowly started to see the changes in my husband. A year after our separation, our marriage was temporarily restored, for about four months, when my husband left again.

How did God change your situation as you sought Him wholhusbandeartedly? *

When my husband left me the second time, I immediately knew that God was trying to get my attention. When my marriage was restored the first time, I realized I became a contentious woman yet again. I no longer applied the principles I learned from RMI and my relationship with my Heavenly Husband soon began to fade. That’s when He lovingly removed lover and friend far from me again so that I can focus on returning to my first love, Him. The first time around, during my Restoration Journey, I focused on the restoration itself. But during my second RJ, I solely focused on reconnecting with my First Love. I was overcome with such peace that joy that surpassed all understanding. I no longer longed for my husband and I no longer prayed for our restoration. Instead, I prayed for his salvation and four months later my husband returned back home!

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), did the Lord teach you during this trial? *

The Lord showed me that He is all I need. He revealed to me that I was still a contentious woman and that my focus needs to be on Him, not my husband. Through RMI's resources, I applied the very important principle of keeping my mouth shut! I agreed with my adversary and focused on having a gentle and quiet spirit. I believe the most important principle I have applied, though, is tithing. Through my first RJ, my husband did not help me out at all. The second time around, at the moment I began tithing, my HH supplied all of my needs! Though I am not working, He has made sure that all of my bills are paid and that there is food on the table. He has led my husband and family members to help me out without me even asking them!!

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through? *

The most difficult times were when my daughter would pray for her dad to come home and to change his ways and stop doing drugs. It was hard to see that my daughter was at the point that she understood what was going on and knew that her father’s smoking was bad and knew that when he did; he was a different person. It was also difficult when I did not see the answer to my prayers when I asked God to change my husband. My HH has helped me through this by reminding me that He is no respecter of persons and that "The king's heart is like a stream of water directed by the LORD; he guides it wherever he pleases". I know that if He has done it for me, then He can do it for anyone.

What was the “turning point” of your restoration? *

I believe the turning point was after I had been restored. The RF Office sent me a link to a lesson I did not reach yet which was Part 2: Are You Ready for Restoration? I realized that I went through my restoration with the same mind. I often felt as though my marriage wasn't restored because my husband didn't feel the need to work on our marriage. My expectations were that I expected a complete change from him when he returned. So I'm glad God led the RF Office to send me this link so that I could have a better understanding of what to expect.

Because I tended to focus on the changes my husband wasn't making I completely forgot to praise my HH for allowing my husband to return back home when he swore he was getting a divorce. Before this new truth, I found myself regressing back to the old me-- the old me my husband tried so hard to get away from. I even moved to the other ditch where I didn't leave room for my husband to become the spiritual leader because I was trying to do it all! I realized that all of this was due to the enemy turning up the heat on my restored marriage, again, but the Lord knew that I needed to be grounded in Him now more than ever!!! As long as I keep the Lord first in my heart, and He truly is FIRST in my life, it's only then I will begin to see the Lord turn my husband's heart, not only back to me, but more importantly back to Him!!! O PRAISE HIS HOLY AND RIGHTEOUS NAME!!!

Tell us HOW it happened? Did your husband just walk in the front door? *

Because I had already been through a restored marriage where it happened unexpectedly, I thought the second time around would be more extravagant. I thought my husband would walk through the door and ask me to take him back. It did not happen this way however. While leaving my door opened, a huge iguana came into my house. At the time, I was on the phone with my husband (he had called me from work just to hear my voice), when I saw the iguana walk across the floor. I was terrified!!! The next day, after many people tried to remove the iguana, but to no avail, my husband offered to spend the night! That night we were intimate, but I was not sure if this meant our marriage was restored because this had happened before in my first restoration. Still seeking God to determine what this meant, my husband asked me to dinner a couple of days later. During dinner, he told me that he needed me and that he wanted to marry me again! He never said anything like that with my first restoration! It was then that I knew my marriage was restored yet again!!

Did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored? *

I knew that my marriage was on the verge of restoration, but I just didn't expect it to happen so soon. My main focus was on drawing closer to my HH and if my marriage was restored, then that would have been an added bonus. The first time we separated, we were separated for a year, the second time, we were separated for 3 months. So it happened so suddenly, when I least expected it, but because I was following the principles of RMI and spending time with my HH, I knew that He would give me the desires of my heart.

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you? *

I recommend completing all of the RRR online courses!!! Pouring out my heart in the "What I Learned" forms helped me to truly make my HH my dwelling place. I recommend reading How God can and will Restore your Marriage in its entirety several times! I also recommend the Be Encouraged videos as well as subscribing to the daily Encourager newsletters and submitting praise reports even when you don't feel like it because praise will bind, confuse and break the enemy and cause his hands to be still. These resources helped me to grow as a person and to grow in my relationship with my Lord and Savior.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women? *

I truly feel that God has allowed me to go through this in order to be a blessing the same way RMI has been a blessing to me. I desire to help any and all broken women who feel that their marriage is hopeless through my testimony.

Either way, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with in conclusion? *

God has the final say on your marriage. No matter how bleak it looks or how hopeless it may seem, it's not over. It's just the beginning. The beginning of a new relationship with your First Love!! Allow God to consume you and let Him be the Leader of your life. Seek Him in all that you do. Do not focus on the whys and why nots but instead focus on loving your HH and making Him first and foremost in your life. Then these things will be added unto you. He knows the desires of your heart, so as long as you put your trust in Him, all things will work together for your good.

Jazmin in Georgia