My City Hall Wedding was Perfect!

My City Hall Wedding was Perfect!

What brought you to RMI? Please use this space to briefly let our readers know what your life was like when you first found us, Kristina, so our readers understand just what a miracle your restoration is.

Kristina, how did your restoration actually begin?

My “husband” and I had been dating for 7 years and at some point the mother of my "husband" (because we were not legally married) decided that we should live together, even without getting married. She said this because her other son lived 15 years with his wife before they married so she believed that we should do the same.

Well before she told us this, we had plans to buy a house, get married, travel and organize our finances in order to take care of our mothers who are both elderly and widowed. The heavens started to open over my life when I decided to support him in this endeavor and we all lived together. At first, we were happy, that was, until I was influenced by the things his mother said about my respect for her and her son. That’s when he started talking to my mother about what she needed to do to change me. I was immediately offended and started to behave horribly. I mistreated people, actually everyone. I grumbled about everything. I did not take care of the house anymore. I’d get frustrated over the simplest thing, and finally I let myself get horribly fat (I gained close to 50 lbs.).

Then, one day, after crying my heart out to the Lord, I decided that I wanted to change, because I wanted my life, and our home to be at peace again. Just one week later I discovered an email from an OW, I immediately confronted my EH and he said he was unhappy, frustrated with me and in doubt if he even wanted me anymore. A few weeks later I discovered this ministry and started to follow the book I ordered.

To be honest it was difficult. I’d have days that I thought I would die, the pain was so physically unbearable. But today I know that everything was intended for me learn to discover that God was resurrecting me and showing me that HE needed to be the focus of my life. It wasn’t about me or even my EH or our mothers. He needed to change the first mess, me, not having my Beloved first in my life.

Then one day I fell into temptation, and I called the OW. I decided I’d call, introduced myself and warn her she had better give him up. Like I was warned in all the RMI materials, what a mistake this was! Soon after my EH called me, yelling at me, defending her and saying that I should no longer call her and that he decided it was time for me to leave. He said everything was over. Still arrogant and in a state of rebellion, I simply replied that I would go, that it was fine with me.

Not only did I leave, but I left the country with no plans to return! Yet, after I stayed away a month I began to realize the mistake I’d made. We started to email each other. At first, I was determined that everything was over, but then we started to talk more, and he started to open up, clarify what had happened. We both realized our first mistake was in listening to the suggestion of living together outside of marriage. Secondly that we put taking care of our mothers as more important than even being spiritually fed. (He had stopped reading his bible or going to church.) Eventually we both asked each other for forgiveness.

Also, during our conversations I confessed to a few personal things that I had kept hidden for years, what God had revealed to me that contributed to the end of our relationship.

Even though we both agreed we had our doubts about our future, I agreed to return, and we married, having a civil ceremony but in our hearts, it was God who we wanted to please.

As we left and got into our car, we agreed that our relationship had to be new, and that we could no longer do things as before. I shared some of the lessons learned here at RMI and my husband (I can call him that now) asked if we could study together. He said that in order for the new person in us to be perfected, so that the old man/woman does not return, it’s especially important that we know who is our first love. It had to be HIM.

Lastly, he even said that I always tried to be the head of the household and that from now on he would take on that role, beginning with being my spiritual leader. And in one of our conversations a day or so later, he told me that today his relationship with God was better than it had ever been in his life and all he wanted to do is to experience more of Him! Nothing could have made me happier. The first step he said was when he found this ministry! I had shared the men’s ministry with him when he came in while I was doing my lessons, so he took advantage of the opportunity to experience and learn the same principles I had followed. Soon after, reading the praise reports from the men in their newsletter, he realized the difficulties of the home that I endured during my journey and the length I went to in letting go. He said leaving, creating such a great distance was important for him to long to see me and to end the relationship with the OW.

How did God change your situation Kristina as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

It was by becoming aware of my problems and my defects and by me stopping my controlling my restoration. By my no longer quarreling anymore with God or anyone else. Now before acting or reacting, I reflect on things and live my life only for the Lord.

Not only did I change on the inside, but my outward transformation was also hugely different. In just three months, I lost 60 pounds so when he first saw me he commented on how beautiful I looked both inside and out.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Kristina, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

Without a doubt it’s knowing who your first love is and living this way. Next, it’s letting go which proves who is first in your life. Another especially important principle is contentment—it’s when I knew that I would be happy within the will of God only—with my HH as the center of my universe.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Kristina?

His silence was difficult. While in rebellion I couldn’t hear God and was far from the Lord. Next was overcoming the horrible anxiety I felt, which changed instantly after beginning Finding the Abundant Life Course, when I recited He was all I needed or wanted. This is how I began learning contentment. Lastly, I’d like to say that after my husband began reciting this same phrase, he said that he wondered how I could be so happy and then he knew! What a testimony to finding our abundant life together as husband and wife.

Kristina, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

Live a life of contentment with your HH as the center and let it go of everything and everyone else.

Tell us HOW it happened Kristina? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Kristina, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

Well, I suppose it happened when he picked me up at the airport, but he did not say anything. The next day he told me to put on my prettiest dress and fix my hair because he wanted to take me somewhere special. He drove me to city hall, parked, then turned around and grabbed a small bouquet he had hidden behind his seat. He got out of the car, opened my door, took my hand and walked me inside. He hugged me when we got just outside the door and asked me if I was ready to do the right thing. I kissed him, tears streaming down my face and just nodded.

I know people believe you need to have a big fancy wedding, but what matters, and to me what is more romantic, is having a Godly man who wants to do the right thing. My city hall wedding was perfect! I still get teary whenever I think of how much God did and how much the Lord’s love has changed us both.

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Kristina?

Of course! I’d recommend all of them!!

I have already advised so many other women, sharing the online course links, and I’ve been sending all my married and single friends to HopeAtLast.com and telling them how important it is to fill out a Marriage Evaluation. My husband and I also have purchased RYM paperbacks to pass out, having a case for women and for men to continue sowing into our future together.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Kristina?

Yes, we both would and will continue to do so.

Either way Kristina, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

That we have to be brave to accept God's will! We can’t force restoration, because it begins with us being changed and transformed. When we realize that this is GOD’s way, things simply happen, it’s all part of the journey, and that’s when we are transformed inside and out and are ready to be restored.