Older Couple Points Us

Older Couple Points Us to God's Word!

“Jeremiah’s Lesson”

I met my husband 12 years ago. I had two children, and he had two children. When we moved in together I was uneasy about this; as I knew God would not bless us. Things were great for a year until he moved out! He was a musician and we were each very immature and self absorbed!

We reconciled a few months later and married. After a year, he left again! We reconciled 3 years later after dating for awhile. Four months later, he left and filed for divorce which was final 3 months later. I went to God every time between his walkouts, but didn't stay in His word. When things were fine, I felt I didn't need God. Then I started keeping a prayer journal. I asked God to take away my desire for my husband or else send him back. I didn't hear anything from him for a long time, so I felt that God would send someone else to me. As it turned out He sent my husband back to me! He had started writing and singing Christian music and attending church so I was interested.

Two years later we remarried, and bought a house. I assured God that I would stay in His word this time! That was until my husband's 18 yr. old daughter took over. I became very contentious and mouthy about him spending thousands of dollars on her, rescuing her from her consequences. He had let her mistreat me and did not defend me, but scolded me instead. I heard God's voice telling me to watch it, but I didn't care!

My husband left after 3 years, and moved in with his daughter in an apartment that he co-signed for her to get against my wishes. This was what I dealt with instead of an OW, which I guess is not as bad. He was very angry at me, and was very concerned about his daughter who had no respect for him and showed it. I felt that I took care of him, and he left me to go live with her!

I of course cried out to God. During this time, my mother passed away. My husband seemed very unconcerned and of course, I was devastated! Yet, that led me to begin getting absorbed in the Bible, and a book about praying that a friend gave me at my mother's funeral. I also listened to Christian tapes, and then things finally changed in me when I was given and read the Restore Your Marriage. I read that book and my bible constantly. It was so comforting! I think that I read all the testimonies on the website at 5 times a day!!

This time, I believed for my marriage restoration but first, I had to repent from being in adultery myself when I married my husband. Though things began to change in me, at the same time my husband found a "so called Christian counselor" as he said to me, "she could tell you that you are in the wrong." So at his prompting I went, but she didn't say that to me, but she did say after each visit that we needed to stay separated. I agreed as I felt it was important to make sure that God had forgiven my adultery (in marrying a second time). In total, we saw her 5 times at my husband's request. And due to all that went on in these sessions, it was clear we were nowhere near restoration! My husband was still numb and angry while I still felt loads of guilt at my sin of adultery.

Sometimes, we would talk, and he would name all my failures and be ever so unforgiving. And though I was confessing them, it wasn't until I read your book that I knew to be quiet, so I was never silent but tried to defend myself, and like you said, it made him heap more insults on me. The phrases: "Won without a word" and "wait on the Lord" were always running through my mind but it wasn't until the Lord led me to, and I found a Christian couple that counsel women like me in their home, who have been married 56 years. God knew I needed someone there telling me the truth and to confirm all that I was reading in RYM book.

Once I learned that God can forgive adultery, since He forgives all sin if we simply repent and not ignore our sin, they asked my husband to join us. They had us read Bible verses aloud about anger, marriage, and forgiveness. They did not give us a chance to argue and tell each other's wrongs, if either said anything, they immediately stopped us. They talked about what God desires in a marriage, and that it is impossible to have a solid marriage without Jesus at the center of each of our own individual lives! In between these appointments, my husband wanted to get the house ready to sell and we had a realtor. We hadn't signed any papers yet, but he was talking as if he wasn't sure we would ever live together again.

Though I knew if it was His plan for us to be together again, it would happen, but instead I worried and fretted that this was it, my imagination ran away! But then, I knew I had to get a hold of God, and be still. The last few days I cried out to God and was sobbing. I cried "How long are you going to let me go through these separations with this man? How much am I supposed to take? Can I just be done with him, I would rather have You only." I can't remember a time I was so shaken! But the darkest is always before the joy in the morning!

That same night my husband called, and said he didn't want to sell the house! He said suddenly a peace came over him, and the Holy Spirit had shaken him. He said "I'll be home this weekend Babe, if you want me back!" To me this was such a huge sign that God had indeed forgiven my adultery and his.

Just as Erin and RMI says, restoration does happen quick and unexpected! God is mighty and has a perfect date set!! While I was so grief stricken and searching God's word, He kept taking me to the book of Jeremiah. I felt like He was telling me not to keep turning away from Him after He delivers me out of my trouble or He will bring me to the same lesson -- until I learned it for good! So now I know I will forever hold fast to the Lord and Husband, even in the good times, not just when I am desperate!!

Thank you Erin for your encouragement and comfort! You have truly been a faithful servant and we all owe you so much!

~ Lee Ann in Tennessee