No Way I'm Coming Back. It's Over

"No Way I'm Coming Back. It's Over"

What brought you to RMI? Please use this space to briefly let our readers know what your life was like when you first found us, Katrina, so our readers understand just what a miracle your restoration is.

Katrina, how did your restoration actually begin?

In September my husband left home after another fight, it was actually me who told him to leave.

I was always contentious and it was not the first time I told him to get out of our home. This time God allowed him to leave me, completely, so that I could be reunited with my true Love. This time he said he wanted nothing to do with me. Once I calmed down I called him (with an attitude) and said, "Okay you can come back now" and he responded, "No way I'm coming back. It's over."

How did God change your situation Katrina as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

God began to show me, during this huge reality check, who I had been to my husband. He began to illuminate all my mistakes in order to mold me into a wise woman rather than a fool who tore her house down on a regular basis.

After I admitted my contentious and rebellious behavior, after I really saw the true me, I was able to work with the Lord in order to change. That’s when God began to give me a daily makeover. Day after day the person He wanted me to be began to appear and the old me began to die a thousand deaths. Was it pleasant? No! It was painful and heartbreaking, but what I discovered was a Love I'd never imagined. A love I'd been looking for all of my life. A love that could keep me sane and calm and that filled the void that had made me act in such a disgusting manner.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Katrina, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

God taught me to have patience. In His Word, He always showed me the reason for my trials and tribulations, how it was meant to change me. He also gave me the strength to continue on the hardest days when I thought of giving up. My HH held my hand and sometimes carried me, but each day I kept moving ahead in my journey choosing not to take my eyes off of Him.

I always thought about the story of Jonah and knew that I was passing through the fish's mouth, but that at the right time the Lord would rescue me. He showed me it was there in the darkness that I'd have to face the way I'd always been.

He taught me to have real faith, because before I thought I had faith, until I realized that I had to believe even if all circumstances were unfavorable. During this journey, I learned to trust and give myself to the Lord completely. To want and need and live for nothing and no one else but Him.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Katrina?

Every time I heard about my husband and what was going on (by "friends" and family who blamed him for my brokenness), He would give me a portion of His Word that I would bathe in and cling to. I'd turn my face to Him and He comforted me. When those rumors didn't destroy me, the enemy turned up the heat. One day I saw my husband out with the OW and it was easy to see that they were having fun. The enemy bombarded my mind, reminding me of how I was suffering while he was enjoying his freedom from me.

My HH helped me on those days when nothing seemed to happen for good, when I looked at things from human eyes in the depths of despair. He said things were happening, things were changing, but they were hidden where only He could see. Then instead of running or cringing because of these episodes, I began to cherish these moments in my heart. The pain left, the love I felt for Him increased and no one but Him mattered.

God loved me to the point of sending His Son, not just to save me, but to send me a Lover of my soul. Someone who would be with me all the time and comforted me as His bride. Thank You Heavenly Father for this gift!

Katrina, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

The turning point was when I absolutely trusted God and let my husband go. I took both hands of my HH and all I could see was Him. I began to seek the things of God, ministering to other women, encouraging them to find and experience the love of a true Husband. It was then that I saw that little by little my husband was becoming interested in me and he was always looking for me, just to talk about random things.

I began to see that all the promises of God in our lives that I'd been given during my darkest days, were now being seen by me and everyone else. This is when the enemy tried every single one of his schemes on me. Each time, I took them as a sign that good was about to happen, and began to get closer to my HH even more.

Rumors increased about my husband, but I once again trusted Him, chose to wait and chose not to care if I had a husband. I simply gave all my needs to the Lord, my true Husband, and this was when everything began to change ...

Tell us HOW it happened Katrina? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Katrina, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

Everything started to change when my husband decided to come home to see our new baby. Right after his birth, I always took him to see his father, but this time he decided to come over and see our baby at our home. Thank You, God !!! It is You who restores, at your appointed time, which was when it was important for our son to have a father in the home.

That day we talked a lot, about nothing at all and laughed over so many silly things. It was so nice, so good, so very pleasant. When he left he asked about coming again and I mentioned that we'd be gone, having been invited to a children's party. Without planning to, I asked if he'd like to join us and he pulled back and said, he would think about it.

Of course, I realized how foolish this was, and told my HH to please use this blunder for good so it wouldn't damage what I could see my son needed now.

On Saturday, the day of the party, he sent a message saying he couldn't go and why, and I replied, "Okay, sure, thanks for letting me know" along with a smiley face. I got up to get ready when another text came in, he wanted to invite me to a barbecue at our friends' house, and he wanted me to bring our baby boy. I asked the Lord what to say, then sent a reply accepting his invitation, "Yes, that would be nice, we'd love to join you."

At the barbecue, it was me, him, our son, his parents and siblings, plus another couple of his close friends. At the end of the day, when we were about to leave, I fell into a deep pit, a crafty scheme of the enemy. I foolishly asked if I could talk to him alone, he coldly told me, no, and turned quickly to walk away.

The truth is, I really had nothing to say, but I know he took it as the way I once had been, the woman who used to sit him down to lecture him.

I was discouraged, thinking to myself, "you'll never change, you're hopeless." That night he took me home without either of us saying a word to each other. The moment I arrived home and got our son in bed, I hurried to the bathroom and said to God (because I couldn't face my HH): "Dear God, I can not take it anymore, I do not want to deceive myself anymore that I'll ever change/ I surrender my life in Your hands, do not let me live like this any more, please let it be me and my HH!!! I don't want a restored marriage anymore!"

When I finally felt at peace, once I was able to talk to my HH and feel His love for me, wrapping me like a warm blanket, I went back to my room to get ready. I picked up my cell phone to put it on the dresser and there was a message from my husband apologizing for not having talked to me. He said he wanted to talk and gave me a time to meet with him on the following day.

Beloved, God is so merciful and true to His Word. When we stop wanting and seeking a husband, when we want His Son, our HH, He shows us His miracles. And since I hadn't replied right back, my husband called and said he'd come over and bring lunch so we could eat at home. He said that at the barbecue he’d mentioned about him coming over to help me with my taxes and that’s when he said, "I’ll do your taxes, and while I'm there, we can take this time to talk. Talk about us."

For the first time, I felt him much more loving and caring than I'd ever remembered him being. I was excited but fearful that our marriage was about to be restored, however before he left he told me that he still did not feel comfortable coming home. I said that I respected him and would be more than happy to let him go. I know he was surprised, while I was relieved, to be honest.

The full effects of honestly letting go led to him inviting me to go to the movies a day later. At the movies, we kissed, and surprisingly, it was wonderful. I really thought it wasn't true that if we really were in love with our HH we could feel close to our earthly husbands.

Yet, the enemy was not about to give up. A few days later one of our mutual friends had a baby and we went to visit her. When we left the hospital we stayed in the car, like we were dating again. Then my cell phone rang and when I answered it was a woman who I could tell was angry. Then she blurted out that my husband was cheating on me! It was so loud, my husband heard what she'd said, and he got pale and unresponsive. I honestly thought he’d had a heart attack!

Beloved, do you remember when Erin says that when the restoration is near, the enemy rises up to bring us down? That was what happened, and at the time, I realized that God was protecting me when He did not allow me to know this beforehand. Then something amazing happened. At that moment I was transformed by the power of His love to the point I realized I didn’t feel any anger, I felt no sorrow, and I felt absolutely NO pain. I sat there quietly in perfect peace. It was my husband who was feeling the full effects of what was happening.

After several minutes my husband told me that soon after we separated, he became involved with a person at his work and that a while ago, several weeks back before the barbecue, he began to feel ashamed of what he was doing and ended everything with her—because he wanted to come back home, GLORY TO GOD! !!!

He asked me to forgive him, he said that he was ashamed and regretted everything and that during this time of separation, he had wanted to return home several times, but he felt ashamed because he knew he'd have to confess what he'd done. He went on to say that he had never stopped loving me, that he got involved with her because of the hurt that he'd felt each time I threw him out, but that was no excuse for what he'd done.

My husband came home that day, moving in all of his things. I asked God to make him more affectionate, because I could tell he didn't feel worthy of being loved. I told God I would always submit to my HH and keep Him first in my heart. Surprisingly, that very same day my husband started to praise me saying I was such a "wise woman" and sending messages throughout the day just to say that he loved me!!!

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Katrina?

Yes, the book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage was paramount in my restoration !!! Honestly, I have gone through all your resources and tell everyone in marriage troubles to devour everything in order to be ready for whatever the enemy throws at you.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Katrina?

Yes, I would.

Either way Katrina, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Beloved, when we serve God and take His Son as our HH. If we follow in the footsteps of His truth during our journey, everything will work out for good. It was God who turned my husband to want to come back to our home. It was also Him who turned it away from me long enough for me to really change due only to His love and His truths.

Today He did what I even doubted could happen. Beloved, He loves us and wants to give us a makeover. He wants us to be the best we can be, and be loved by the Man of our dreams. All honor, glory, and praise be given to God the Father and His Son—the Author and Finisher of our faith!

Do not give up, do not give up, do not give up !!!! Keep moving forward along your restoration journey no matter how discouraging or painful.

The Lord is with us, let Him be your Man, I am overflowing with gratitude. Thank you, Erin. Thank You, dear HH.