Hold Hands in Church

“Asked to Hold Hands in Church”

How did your restoration actually begin Judith? *

At one point I was so depressed, I sought help for myself. I was crying all the time. My husband did not physically leave me, but I felt his heart had left me. The one thing that someone impressed on me was to work on my relationship with the LORD and let God deal with my husband. I was so broken. I decided that I would seek God with all my heart. I was so bitter and angry at my husband. I started reading my Bible every day. I read the whole Bible several times using different translations. God was slowly peeling away the things in my life that had not been pleasing to Him.

How did God change your situation Judith as you sought Him wholeheartedly? *

I started to share with other women what God was teaching me. There was so much to share with them that I wasn’t quite sure how to go about it. Our marriage was slowly being restored, but we still had a way to go. In looking on the internet to help my friends, I stumbled on this website. I decided to read the information to help my friends and to see if there was more I could do for my own marriage. Reading the RRR online courses confirmed what I had been learning in my own Bible reading, which gave me encouragement along with The Praise Reports. As I applied the Biblical principles, I could see my husband's heart softening, turning towards me. He started to show kindness and do things for me that he had never done in the past. We were talking to each other as friends again.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), did the Lord teach you Judith during this trial? *

The How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage book gave me insight along with the Be Encouraged eVideos on how to avoid doing the wrong things while working on restoring my marriage. The WORD showed me my part in the destruction of my marriage. I realized that I was a contentious woman. The Lord had been dealing with me in many different areas and changing me. I told my daughter I was wrong in sharing things with her about her dad when I had been upset. I also learned to not share with others, but to take it to the LORD. This makes it easier for the spouse to repent, knowing a lot of people don't know what he did.

I kept focusing on drawing closer to God. I did not focus on my husband or my circumstances. I showed kindness to my husband as unto the the LORD. I kept my mouth shut; I no longer talked to others about my husband. I continued to meditate on the WORD. I had to forgive my husband. I used the WORD of God to pray. I renewed my mind with Scripture to fight against the lies of the devil. I reached out to help others. I humbled myself before the LORD and my husband. I submitted to my husband. I was doing many of these things before finding RMIEW which proved this is all Him.

Judith what were the most difficult times that God helped you through? *

God helped me when I felt totally alone. My husband was living to please himself. He was never unfaithful nor did he ever leave me. We were each living our own lives. We did not agree on many issues. Because of things done and hurtful words said, we had a hate wall between us. During this time I felt afraid and very insecure because of the decisions he was making, which did not turn out good and had painful consequences.

What was the “turning point” of your restoration Judith? *

The turning point for our restoration came when I wanted God more than my husband. God is my refuge and my shield. He meets my needs. I know I am safe with God as my husband. He will care for me and meet my needs in ways that no human husband can. I no longer feel lonely. I feel so much love, comfort, and joy. I look forward to spending time with my new HH each day.

Tell us HOW it happened Judith? Did your husband just walk in the front door? *

My husband started to change in his attitude towards me. He started to do thoughtful things for me. In church he wanted to hold hands. He became more affectionate. We started to talk more to each other as friends. He started doing things around the house that he had never done. He considered what I thought about issues.

Did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored? *

Before I came to this website, I could tell our restoration was coming by the changes I was seeing in his attitude.

Would you recommend any of our resources in particular that helped you? *

I really enjoyed reading the How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage book and watching the Be Encouraged eVideos.

Do you have favorite Bible verses that you would like to pass on to women reading your Testimonies? Promises that He gave you?

2 Chronicles 7:14 (NIV)

If my people, who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.

Psalm 9:10 (NIV)

Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

Psalm 118:8 (NIV)

It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in humans.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women? *

Yes.

Either way, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with in conclusion? *

Dear friend, God is able to do the impossible. He can change hearts. When we do things God's way, we can expect blessings to follow. Seek God with all your heart, mind, and soul and you will find Him. His WORD is true and can be trusted. He can restore your marriage.

“Willing to Give Up”

Today I am thanking God for a restored marriage. My husband never was unfaithful nor has he ever left home. For the past thirteen years I have felt separated from my husband even though we have been living together. We both did our own things. We had many differences in how we viewed things in our marriage. Because of the decisions my husband made, I suffered many hurts. I would beg him not to do certain things that I felt would end up hurting us. I would try to control him, nag him, become angry, and then feel bitter when I had to feel the consequences of his decisions. This put a strong hate wall between us. I was a contentious woman and my behavior pushed him to do things, just to prove to me that I wasn’t going to control him. I did not feel his love nor did I feel that he cared about what I thought.

Because of my anger, being contentious, and my bitterness, it hurt my relationship with the LORD. At one point I was so depressed, I sought help for myself. I was crying all the time. The one thing that they impressed on me was to work on my relationship with the LORD and let God deal with my husband. I was so broken; I decided that I would allow God to change me and trust God to deal with my husband. I started reading my Bible every day. I read the whole Bible several times using different translations. God has been slowly peeling away the things that have not been pleasing to Him. Many things being taught at this website, I was learning from the time I spent with the LORD prior to coming here. I started to share with other women what God was teaching me. There was so much to share with them, that I wasn’t quite sure how to do it.

Our marriage was slowly being restored, but I still had a way to go. In looking on the internet to help my friends, I stumbled on this website. I decided to read the information to help others and to see if there was more I could do for my own marriage. Seeing things confirmed what I have been learning in my own Bible reading, and I was able to apply them more in my life. The encouragement from testimonies helped me to see ways to flesh out what I already knew. Watching how other women applied these principles. The RYM book has really helped me along with the videos. I just started the second course a week ago. I had to come to the place where I was willing to die to my ways and trust God’s WORD. I had to be willing to lose my life, in order to save it. I could no longer control my husband. Following Christ means that we are willing to give our lives up for Him. This is total surrender and an act of worship to the LORD. Renewing our minds in the WORD and living for His purpose in our marriages.

I can now praise the LORD for restoring my marriage. My husband and I feel very close. I am learning to submit to him and trust God to guide him. I take my concerns to the LORD. The LORD is changing my EH. He is doing things for me; he would never have done in the past. His heart has softened and he is considering what I think before making decisions for us. He tells me that he loves me, we hold hands in church, and we both feel peace in our home. We are both caring for one another in ways to show our love. This has been the work of God. Please apply God’s WORD to your marriage and see what God will do to restore your marriage.

"For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it." (Matthew 16:25)

"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will." (Romans 12:1-2 NIV)

“Home is Peaceful”

I want to praise the LORD for what he has been doing in our home. Our home is peaceful and my EH and I are friends again. The hate wall is gone. We are caring for one another. My husband's attitude has changed for the good. We are attending church together. We enjoy being with each other. We both love the Lord and want to serve Him. God continues to give me a hunger and thirst for His Word. I love spending time in the Word and listening to what He wants to teach me. God has been meeting our needs in so many ways. My husband has found work, he is doing better physically, my faith is getting stronger, my fears are decreasing the more I trust in God and stay in His Word. God is renewing my mind with the Word, so I can speak the Word back to the thoughts that come from the enemy who tries to steal, discourage and destroy my walk with the LORD.

"The quiet words of the wise are more to be heeded than the shouts of a ruler of fools.”

It is so important to keep our mouths shut and allow God to witness through us by our behavior.

“Wisdom is better than weapons of war, but one sinner destroys much good." Ecclesiastes 9:17-18 (NIV)

We need to be reading the Word and asking God to give us understanding, so we can apply His wisdom to our situation. God's wisdom is better than any weapons of war that the world uses. When we follow the world's way we destroy our chances of being restored or reconciling with anyone. It's impossible with man, but possible with God.

"Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26 (NIV)

“My HH is Always Faithful”

“In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.” (Ephesians 6:16 NIV)

I praise my HH for always being faithful. My EH just recently got a new job. He was under the impression that he would be working forty hours a week. As it turns out, his hours are not guaranteed each week. Yesterday his boss told my husband that she had fifteen people to give work to and could only use two of the fifteen for the work that was available. We really needed the money. By faith I had donated some money to help another woman get some of the materials I was able to get free by another woman donating to me. I remembered Ephesians 6:16 (NIV) “In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.”

Satan was putting thoughts in my head trying to discourage me that God could not provide for us. I remembered another verse, Psalm 118:8 “It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust man.” I had remembered how David in the Psalms would share a need and cry out to the LORD for help. He would be very down and discouraged. Then he would start remembering how God provided for him in the past. Then he would praise God for His goodness. This is what I did, I remembered how that in soon to be forty eight years of marriage our bills were always paid on time and He always provided, even in very difficult times when it seemed impossible. So I bowed my head and prayed and told the LORD that my EH was just told that there was no work for him tomorrow by his boss. I quoted Psalm 118:8 and told God I would trust Him and not man. Five minutes later he got a call, they found work for him. This was at 8:30 pm. Well, today he worked ten and a half hours.

“It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in man.” (Psalm 118:8 NIV)

Ministry Note: We emailed Judith to remind her some of the principles for a RESTORED marriage, which we give to each woman who submits a RESTORED Marriage Testimony.

Remember, just as relationships in crisis get our attention as women, finances are what often get a man’s attention. This means, be ready for when financial issues hit home. AND then be sure you step back, allowing the full effect to rest on you EH where He wants it to be. Take a look at a man’s shoulders and at ours as women (even women who work out excessively could never compare to a man who works out).

Use your EH as a reminder to NOT make the mistake of lifting the burden placed on your husband by GOD. If we do, the weight will crush us, cause us to lose our gentleness (which is far more important to an EH) and use the time to remain closer to your HH, sitting close to Him watching what GOD plans to do.