Marriage Crisis After We Lost Our Son

Marriage Crisis After We Lost our Son

Abril, how did your restoration actually begin?

I have always been God fearing since I was a child, then in my teens I met my EH. This is when I began inching away from my Christian principles and began to followed his lifestyle. I liked my new life, pretending to still be a believer, but my heart was heavy, for I no longer had any intimacy with the Lord as before.

With the birth of our son, we were very happy, but my grief increased because I knew that I was depriving him of growing up knowing the Lord as the only Savior. I cried out to God to change my life, so that I would become intimate again with Him as I had in my childhood.

He heard my prayers. When my son was about to turn two, he suffered from an illness that led him to passing away. Words cannot express my pain. For a long five months we interceded for him as he was fighting for life. That was the moment I finally turned to my Lord with all my strength: I fasted, I entreated, nothing else mattered to me beyond the cure of my only son.

It was for this reason that my marriage went into crisis, my EH did not accept my decision to serve the Lord in a way different from his. Yet, in the midst of so much pain, I felt peace that engulfed me. Again I could feel Him next to me. This loss was very painful for both of us when God took our son. Everyone in my town already knew that we were going to separate, because my EH began hating me.

How did God change your situation Abril as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

As the days went by, I found the RMI. Right away I heard the voice of God in this ministry, telling me to calm down and to trust Him. There was never another OW but I experienced much humiliation and shame beyond the pain of mourning. I would kneel and beg God to take me away because I could not stand the pain.

When my EH said that the next day we were going to a lawyer, I agreed as I was taught to do here, but I prayed to God, asking that I not be asked to, asking that He not allow me to go through another loss and go through even more pain.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Abril, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

I began to practice the principles learned, such as, to keep quiet, to repay the evil with good, to be meek, and the most difficult, to let go. Although there was no OW, my EH just stopped trusting me: he put a password on his cell phone, he no longer would tell me where he was going, and he’d ignore me for days on end.

When I acted sweetly to him, he would call me crazy. Honestly, I do not say that to embarrass him, it was my fault for trying to live a fantasy, for believing that I would be happy leaning on myself, and in my ability to please him.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Abril?

It’s difficult to define the most difficult moments. One I remember is that one day when I was holding my sick son in my arms, my EH said that as soon as God took him, when he died, that I would leave him and turn his family against him. I felt utterly alone in the world the moment that God took my son. He was in my arms and I simply had no words—I only cried and cried for the Lord's will in my life once I was alone.

Abril, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

My turning point, I do not know to specify. It just began to change gradually. I’m thankful that my EH never left me, like leaving the house. Instead the Lord gradually changed my EH until we recovered from our loss.

Tell us HOW it happened Abril? Did your husband just walk in the front door?

Today he invites me to go with him on his business trips, or just to take a walk. Now we have no secrets between us. Yes, there are still the hard days, but he stopped talking about divorce. We had no other children, but I know that if it is the will of the Lord, another child in our lives will happen.

Abril, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

Not really. It was just a sense of trust. Of remaining as close to the Lord as I could so I could stay within His peace.

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Abril?

I recommend reading your Bible, knowing His Word, which is throughout How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage and also A Wise Woman. The courses, the videos, really all the books. Each are fundamental to know how God wants us to obey Him as He changes us.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Abril?

Yes I would.

Either way Abril, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Beloved bride, seek the Lord with sincerity, yearn for His presence above all else. Do not doubt that He does the impossible. I believed that my marriage was not of the Lord's will, I believed that my son's death was a punishment because I left Him and our intimacy we once had. But God has spoken to my heart, He has fulfilled desires that only He knows. I believe in the salvation of my house, I believe that the work of God is not yet complete. Follow the principles and above all, love Him. Let nothing and no one occupy His place.

Darling Lord, You are my choice, my life, my beloved, my refuge. This ministry has helped me a lot in my mourning too. Thank you Erin for letting me be shaped by the Lord and for teaching what you have learned, for women like me.

MINISTRY NOTE

This restored marriage testimony is one that literally broke our heart, as I am sure it did yours. What it does more than anything is, we hope, to help you see how much more difficult your restoration could be and to be thankful for the cross He's called you to bear—the journey He's called you to travel along with Him. If you would like to learn more about how to help you bear your cross with thankfulness, read My Cross to Bear.