Walking in Circles until I Finally Gave Up

“Walking in Circles until I Finally Gave Up”

What brought you to RMI? Please use this space to briefly let our readers know what your life was like when you first found us, Cali, so our readers understand just what a miracle your restoration is.

Cali, how did your restoration actually begin?

My journey started almost 6 years ago. My marriage was none existent, lifeless and horrible. My husband and I let the devil in our marriage. I was a hardcore feminist who thought I was equal to my husband. I was so wrong. The devil and bad friends made me believe that marriage was one-sided. I was very cold towards my husband until he had enough. The communication stopped. We became housemates. I neglected my husband and decided to work like crazy and further my career. My husband tried to work things out but I was too proud.

I went to so many churches seeking deliverance and solutions to my broken marriage. I thought by acting all good towards my husband things would get better. It got worse. How worse? It was close to six years of living as housemates. For six years loneliness crept in, bad thoughts took over my life and resentment consumed me. I became overbearing, sneaky and turned into an investigator. I did not seek God at all but ran to friends and family instead. That was my biggest mistake. I spoke terrible things against my earthly husband.

I then went on YouTube to seek solutions and prayers. I then came across the Standers website. I was fixated on testimonies, not Jesus. Then I stumbled into Erin’s website and I purchased her book. I was shocked by how much she spoke about marriages and her own personal testimony.

When I came here, filling out my Marriage Evaluation Questionnaire I said:

Feel like this is the last stop to get help. Married for 6 years. Started ok but found out he had too many female friends. His friends had more priority. Started noticing he was changing, becoming ruder, just did not care if I was in the house or not. He stopped texting and phoning to check on me. I feel miserable. Found out that he is dating a fellow colleague and he buys food for her. Goes to her house to do things with her. Gets home and he will be texting her until midnight. He does not know that I am aware. I told God that I have had enough and that something has to change. I am putting God to the test to see if He hates divorce and if He does that He must do something drastic now because this is hell for me. My husband said he made the biggest mistake by marrying me. He doesn't care if I talk to anyone or if I see someone else. Communication is nonexistent, sex never great, I don't support him. I should not ask him where he goes and what he does, it’s on a need to know basis, then he will let me know. No children. I ignore him.

I have gone to so many churches seeking help. Been a Christian since I was twelve. But I feel my situation is hopeless. My husband does not communicate he goes out to meet other women. I have tried talking about it but I got angry, started to hate him and greatly resent him. When I talk it's more of a difficult chore with him. I have asked God why I married the wrong man who makes me miserable and unwanted. I feel like a tenant in our flat and believe I am just someone to help him pay bills. I want help but my husband doesn't. I'd lost weight. I have prayed for years asking God what to do. I believed, but lost faith. I don't want to be a divorcee.

How did God change your situation Cali as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

I was so tired of going from one church to another seeking help. I was running to man instead of God. I began reading Erin’s book “How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage. I read her book just once then never studied it until a few months later. When I came across the book again, I decided to put into action what the book said. I was fixed on completing tasks but never sought God to do it. I was so frustrated that I totally gave up my marriage. Things got worse. Then I was fixated on my marriage being restored within a certain time frame.

During this time, I also began submitting praise reports in the midst of everything and it’s shows how my life began to change.

“Praise God for RMIEW”

Dear readers, I came across this ministry when I was desperately looking for answers to my broken marriage. I stumbled but I believe it was He who led me here. I read “How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage” and I was shocked how I learnt the truth about what I was doing. Everything I have read has taught and convicted me. I have learnt to pray, give praise to my HH, pay my tithe faithfully and cheerfully. My testimonies are so many that it will need a book. Ladies the devil is a destroyer and we should not fall into his trap. Please understand when I first started I did fall and fail but the God we serve is a great God. Erin thank you for listening and obeying Jesus.

“Now I am Strong”

Dear readers, how do I start to praise my Heavenly Husband every day? I was weak, now I am strong. The battle and wars will come our way but Jesus will fight for us. Sorry for my written English is not great. I urge all women and men to read the lessons carefully and not to rush them. I have repeated most lessons so many times in order to learn and understand. My advice is to seek Jesus every day of our lives. If Jesus has led you here to the ministry then you are at the right place and time to walk with Him.

“Tithing First to God”

I never used to tithe like I do now; I used to say if I pay tithe how I will pay my bills and other expenses. But I was listening to the devil and his lies. When I first came to know about this ministry I was touched and deeply convicted of my ungodly life.

I let the devil play and toss my life around; I can tell you right now I will never make that mistake again. The miracle is that I was in heavy debt but now I am able to pay them off in huge chunks. This happened once I began to tithe. I am able to have peace throughout my life.

My Heavenly Husband now provides for me, my food I never lack, job wise I was really amazed this month.

“Obedient to Tithing”

Praise my HH for teaching me about tithing. I will sing the song of tithing because of the many miracles in my life. From fantastic job offers to roses since I began to tithe!! Please understand my trials for daily life still come but my HH provides for me without fail. Thank you Erin for helping many women like me from the world :).

“My Wonderful Birthday”

Today is my birthday. It has been the best day. Thank you Lord for my ipad air, white roses, a boat ride and a ride on the London eye. I spent the day with my family. My HH is so great. He is my Provider!!

I also want to thank my HH for the last 10 months. I have gone through a lot of emotional roller coasters. Life was hard and unbearable. Then I came to know this ministry. I had anger that was bad. I was a contentious woman. Wow, where should I have ended? Then things changed drastically. It started with paying my tithe to my new storehouse and now my cup is overflowing. I decided to put my HH first. Hence Psalm 150 which is very dear to me...In good and bad days my HH has never changed.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Cali, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

The lessons taught me that it was not only me going through this trial. Many women just like me had similar marital problems. Coming here taught me to be humble and patient.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Cali?

I struggled with waiting for 6 long years. God wanted me to rely on Him more than men. I was expecting a quick restoration, which made it longer. But God taught me to be more patient.

Cali, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

When I really let go of my marriage. Stopped focusing on my earthly husband. Started seeking my HH Heavenly Husband. That’s when I had more peace in my heart.

Tell us HOW it happened Cali? Did your husband just walk in the front door?

My father passed away in February of last year. It was a terrible time for my family. My husband started communicating with me since my father’s death. He was caring. I was very skeptical. But I prayed and asked God that He must guide me. It took a long period before it got better. We started to date as a couple and started the communication lines. It was a gradual process. We now chat, laugh and have many first dates.

Cali, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

I had no idea. This took 6 years. It was a hard journey but God was teaching me to be patient. When I tried to fix things on my own, it was like walking around in circles until I finally gave up and surrendered it all to Him. I’d been married for 6 years, then on my RJ for 6 years, but it was all worth it.

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Cali?

I highly recommend all of Erin’s books How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage also A Wise Woman. All of the By the Word of Their Testimonies. But the RRR online courses are what really helped me focus on my journey with my HH.

Do you have favorite Bible verses, Cali, that you would like to pass on to women reading your Testimonies? Promises that He gave you?

Proverbs 12:4

A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.

Proverbs 31:10

A wife of noble character who can find. She is worth more than rubies.

Cali, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Never give God a timeframe. He works in His own time. We have to trust a God that even though He may be silent, He is still fighting for us. The devil will always try to get us to second guess God. But remember, He is always faithful to His promises.

We first heard of Cali’s restoration when she met our Living the Abundant Life brides on their LALTour while they were in London, England.