EH Confessed OW was Expecting his Child

EH Confessed OW was Expecting his Child

What brought you to RMI? Please use this space to briefly let our readers know what your life was like when you first found us, Janelle, so our readers understand just what a miracle your restoration is.

Janelle, how did your restoration actually begin?

My EH never wanted to leave his home but I kicked him out several times. I would leave the house and he would never kick me out. I was so full of rage, rebellion, jealousy, you name it—everything but the Fruit of the Spirit. A friend going through a separation sent me a Spanish audio of a book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage. I listened and re-listened to it several times and I knew I wanted more. It automatically touched my heart and convicted me. I needed to read the book in English and I ordered it. Although I am not a reader I devoured this book within days!

When I filled out the Marriage Evaluation Questionnaire and it asked me to tell about my situation and why I had come to your ministry for help, I said:

I NEED encouragement. I had my suspicious that may husband had another woman about two years ago. I did everything wrong! I was jealous, bitter, vengeance, angry. I kicked him out several times, I also left the house several times. I spoke to everyone about our situation desperately looking for comfort/solution, that just made everything worse and pushed him more into the ow's arms. I finally got a hold of your How God Can and Will Restore My Marriage and I finally am beginning to see my situation turn a little but also I am changing.

God has shown me so much of my errors/sins through your book. In September, around the same time I receive your book, my husband told me the ow is pregnant with his child. Because of my previous reactions, he believed I would again throw him out but since I had started reading the book and was starting to change I didn't. But he had already got an apartment, thinking I would explode in anger and kick him out again. He saw I didn't and we spoke a lot about our situation. He said he needed to be alone to think things and left. This time did not tell him to leave. He told me he needed about 2 months to think things. I was kind and I told him I wanted to change my contentious ways and I think he did see a change.

He "lived" in his apartment around 2 weeks and told me he was coming back. This time I did not tell him to leave, to stay, or to come back. He did everything on his own. He says that he feels bad for the ow because she is only 20 years old, is an illegal, is alone in this country, has no one in this city and she was also a victim of hurricane Harvey and has no place to live.

He has told me he doesn't love her and he wants his marriage and loves me but knows I will not forgive him. I have apologized several times for my ways and I am changing. He stays the night in his apartment 1 or 2 days out of the week. He says he likes to go to be alone and think about things. He still comes home late like he would before around 12-2 AM during the week.

Every time he comes home late or doesn't come home, I get very discouraged and I have a real mental problem, which I know is the enemy trying to discourage me. I have apologized to our families for getting them involved. I have the read the book 2 times and have now purchased and am reading A Wise Woman. I don't know if I shouldn't have let him in so fast and still have my doubts if he still is involved with the ow, not just as a responsible man but emotional/physically involved with her. We have been married for 17 years.

Before coming here I'd searched and found other Marriage Ministry sites. I'd had some Personal Counseling. I’d spoken to my pastor. I'd shared my situation with my family. I'd shared my situation with my husband's family. I'd shared my situation with friends/neighbors. I'd shared my situation with Coworkers.

I know my Lord is able to do anything and everything but many times I do feel defeated and discouraged, as if I want to give up and I can't go on. I want to be obedient to God and His Word. I love my husband, my family (we have 2 kids a 14-year-old and an 11-year-old) I want to give my kids an example what a real Christian marriage should be and remain married.

Father I humbly come to you to give you all the glory and praise. I ask that you give me strength to do Your will and not mine. My flesh tells me to give up on my marriage and give up on my husband, but Your Word says to pick up my cross and Your yoke is easy. Please give me the strength to go on and give me strength to keep calm and kind. I want to reflect You in my life. Please Father help my husband in his temptation. Clear his mind and take the blinders off his eyes. Give him strength to do that right thing. Place in him a fresh love for You, his marriage and family. Thank you, Lord, for everything that you do. In Jesus' name, Amen.

While my Lord was changing me little by little, a lot of stuff was still going on with my EH. One day I saw my EH and the OW together but even then, he still denied it but I was so new in my RJ and I had a long way to go. That means I was still contentious and made him admit it, that they had a thing. My Lord gave me the strength to endure that, but I was still in a lot of pain and very hurt.

A couple of days later my EH confessed that the OW was expecting his child and that he had a gotten an apartment because he knew I was going to overreact and go crazy. Before I heard the audios, I had even become violent, screaming and cursing, something that I would never have done before. But He is so good, I didn't react with violence or anger. I was extremely calm but at the same time extremely hurt and in so much pain! The verse that made me sorrowful to the point of true repentance and salvation (2 Corinthians 7:9-10) really plays in my mind, explaining the sorrow I felt. I was in my RJ and just starting with your ministry when this all happened.

A couple days later he moved out and into his apartment. I stood out of his way and I was amazed at the peace my Lord gave me. But I still had a lot to learn and my journey was just beginning.

How did God change your situation Janelle as you sought Him wholeheartedly?

I started praying and seeking Him every morning and during the day. Writing the verses down in a spiral notebook from the RYM book. My EH always kept in touch and would come by every day and I truly thought he would be gone for at least a year. My journey was slow because of me removing things from my life and Him changing me. He patiently helped me over hurdles that I so many times didn't want to jump over. He would give me the strength and peace to endure.

What principles, from God's Word (or through our resources), Janelle, did the Lord teach you during this trial?

So many principles I have been learning through your resources. But during this trial, He taught me that I needed to trust Him and to stop being contentious. To not say a word. Writing down scriptures onto my 3X5 cards helped so much. Also tithing and becoming a partner. I love how your ministry team encouraged me and I wanted other women to get the same encouragement.

May I say how grateful and thankful I am for the partners' gift for these courses! I took my time on each course and made sure I understood everything that was being given. I had my spiritual breakthrough at the end of your Course 2! PTL! I don't want what I have to ever end, these courses are amazing. I learn each day more and more. It challenged me to get over hurdles that I didn't want to get over and ladies once I took those leaps of faith, it was like weights coming off my shoulders. When I thought any lesson really didn’t pertain to me, that's when my Lord would speak to me even more. I can't wait to start the new course, course 3, that is to follow and learn more to renew my mind, heal me more and have more breakthroughs! :) THANK YOU, LADIES!

When I found your ministry, I was so desperate for the Truth. I went to different churches, friends, family and just once to counseling and nothing and no one could truly help me. My EH of 17 years was not acting right and hiding and using his phone a lot. He was disappearing a lot. I was a Pharisee making myself the innocent victim. I was so rebellious, bitter, arrogant, prideful, grumpy and contentious. Since the beginning of my journey, God told me this was a spiritual battle. I was advised by many to leave him, divorce him and find myself another man. I would feel deep inside that this was not the way to go. Thank You my Lord for protecting me. I would always answer them that I wanted to do it God's way.

We had a broken, doomed marriage from the beginning, built on a very sandy foundation that I tried for years to fix on my own, yet things were getting worse. A friend going through the same situation led me to your ministry by giving me some audios of the book How God Can and Will Restore but in Spanish. As soon as I heard it, it started speaking to me and convicting me of everything. I heard and re-listened to these audios over and over. I had to purchase the book in English, so I did.

As I said, I am not a reader and how I engulfed the book within days is a testament to its power. And the changes I made were drastic but still I had a way to go. I became someone unknown to me. I was extremely jealous and had become violent and screaming and cursing. But as soon as I heard the audios, again as I said, I let go of those ways and have become much calmer. While this was happening within me I saw my EH and the OW together. He always denied it and when I saw them he still denied it, but I was still contentious and made him tell me. He then confessed to me a couple days later that she was expecting a child and that he had gotten an apartment because he knew I was going to explode on him and everything.

Well, I didn't! But that totally broke me, and I can totally relate to the verse that says I was made sorrowful to point of true repentance and salvation. I needed more than the book and I finally found your website. Oh, what a blessing it has been. I started my courses in November and how much my Lord has changed me in just 5 months— it has truly been an amazing journey.

I never thought I could pray the way I am. I never thought I would read as much as I am today. I never thought I would have the peace and faith that I have today! When my EH left to his apartment I thought it was over for sure and he wouldn't be back for at least a year. But I got out of his way and let him leave without fighting or screaming or manipulating. He was gone for 6 days and my Lord turned his heart and brought him back home. But I was not ready, I was just in the beginning of my journey crawling, not even baby steps.

My trials are even tougher than ever, but I have your resources that have helped me so much in my RJ. When I first started I thought this was all about restoring my marriage and now I see that He is restoring my relationship with Him, which is the most important. He is lovingly, patiently, kindly removing, healing, peeling so many things out of my life that I didn't even know needed fixing. I still have a way to go in my journey and my EH is still not saved. Even though my marriage isn't what it's supposed to be, I know He is faithful and I praise Him for what He has promised He’ll finish. I am forever grateful for your ministry and for my Lord. THANK YOU!

THANK YOU, MY BELOVED LORD, for hearing my cry for help and leading me to this ministry. Thank you for Your Truths and Word that truly set me free. Thank You for Your promises. I praise You for the beautiful work You do in our lives. I am so grateful for You and all that You do.

Ladies, I know the pain and the hopelessness you feel. Do not believe those lies. Take it one day at a time and open your heart to our beloved Lord. He has been waiting for you. He is able to transform that pain to joy, and those worries to peace. Just give Him a chance, what do you have to lose? This ministry is a blessing, it has been for me. It has helped me to find true peace and it has set me free of so many lies. The ministers will lead you in the right direction, which is directly to Him, our beloved Heavenly Husband!

Ladies have faith that our Lord is able to do the impossible. I know you are hurting and the pain is overwhelming, I know I've been there! Know this that if you open your heart and obey Him, He will help you get through this. Just take it day by day and by the time you know it you will be stronger, and you won't feel the pain anymore. Have faith in Him. He loves you and He will never let you down.

What were the most difficult times that God helped you through Janelle?

There were so many, but the main ones were when I saw them together and when I found out the OW was pregnant. Yet He gave me peace and strength even though I felt my heart was being torn into pieces. I have two kids; a teenager and a preteen, and He would give me the strength and peace they needed. I needed to function and do our daily school tasks. He also helped me to keep my mouth shut and allow my EH to confess his new child to our family and kids. I used to be so contentious and confess his sins to everyone, HUGE MISTAKE, which I am so shameful for ever doing.

Janelle, what was the “turning point” of your restoration?

Two or three days after my EH left he told me he was coming home soon. I didn't believe him but just kept seeking God. I wasn't ready but had the resources now that are helping me change. I still had a long way to go and sometimes wonder why He does things the ways He does things. So, He answers me with that His ways are not my ways and my thoughts are not His thoughts.

I feel like I didn't have my turning point until later on, much later on, in my restoration. One month ago, I had my spiritual breakthrough. A month ago, I felt like I finally started to truly let go of so many things, not only my EH but many other things and when I truly started embracing my Lord as my HH.

Tell us HOW it happened Janelle? Did your husband just walk in the front door? Janelle, did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored?

My EH came home 6 days after he left. And just like Erin says in one of her lessons, I didn't think or imagine it happening that way. He just brought his things back into the garage. Not even inside the house. I believe he was testing me to see how it would go. I was very proud before and in my past state of mind I would have left his clothes and belongings in the garage and let him bring them in himself. However, I felt the Holy Spirit lead me to get all his stuff and put everything back in their rightful place. And that changed everything.

The lessons are on point, the trials are coming even more now because the enemy is still trying to destroy us. But I use this to keep pressing closer to HH, this is my goal. Our journey is still in the process and I know He is still not done with us.

Did you suspect or could you tell you were close to being restored Janelle?

No, not at all! I truly thought my EH was going to be gone for months, maybe years. I didn't think he would come home so fast. It has taken me a long time to do this but through a lesson, my Lord brought it to my attention that I never submitted a PR for my restoration. Like Erin said in the lesson, I didn't “feel” like I was restored. The enemy had me so blinded and didn't want me to praise my Lord for what He has done! But thank you, Erin, for these lessons and helping us be set free from the lies and schemes of the enemy!

Would you recommend any of our resource in particular that helped you Janelle?

Yes, I recommend it ALL. The book How God Can and Will Restore Your Marriage, A Wise Woman that I'm currently reading. The devotionals. EVERYTHING you can get your hands on is such a blessing! I especially encourage you to do the RRR online courses. Those have been what truly helped me. I was so blinded when I first began I could barely praise my Lord! But each day doing the journal I have to praise Him, and I am so thankful for that. It truly renewed and changed my mind! It helped me each day and is teaching me each day new things and all with scriptures to back it up.

Do you have favorite Bible verses, Janelle, that you would like to pass on to women reading your Testimonies? Promises that He gave you?

Yes, Proverbs 3:5-7 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil.”

This verse I am still using. Every time I would see and hear things that were not good news I would say this scripture and tell myself I will not lean on my own understanding, but I will trust in my Lord.

Would you be interested in helping encourage other women Janelle?

YES!

Either way Janelle, what kind of encouragement would you like to leave women with, in conclusion?

Please DON'T give up. He is faithful, He knows what He is doing. He will never let you down. Focus on Him, remain in His Word, focus on His promises.

DON'T believe the lies and DON'T entertain the enemy in your mind. Place your hope on Him. Praise Him at all times and in all the ways you can.

Be content, that will help you change your mindset. Follow and obey and you will see the wonders and blessing He has for you.

DON'T allow your pain and hurt to swallow you up. Go to Him, it's ok to cry to Him and give Him your pain, He is able and capable to bring you out of it.

My Restoration Journey Continues

EH Asked Me to Help Him Sell the OW Car!?!

Posts 5/29/18

My EH is a musician, what started as a hobby turned into what I have referred to as his god. I have never liked my EH being a musician, I knew it was too much temptation and I didn't know my Beloved as I do now. My faith was very weak. I would always pray to Him to remove my EH from that music world. This was in 2016. In 2017 I finally let it go and gave it to God. I remember telling God, I know You are able to remove him from that world and I don't know why you haven't, but I will trust in You. And I truly let it go.

My EH would go play on weekends, practice during the weekdays and I would be at peace with God knowing it was on his time.

Today my EH told me he is sick and tired of that music world and wanted out! Praise the LORD! I wanted to shout HALLELUJAH! But I contained my emotions and MY MOUTH. He told me that the group he was in told him they didn't want him any longer. I really didn't like the group too much, they knew too much of our personal lives and the OW would hang out with them. But I trusted in my LORD and let it go.

Another praise is my EH purchased a car for the OW 4-5 months ago. That was painful, and my LORD really worked on me with that and helped me through it. God kept telling me if your enemy is hungry, feed him and if he is thirsty, give him a drink. So, I let it go and gave it to God. Can you believe my husband asked me to help him sell the OW car!? I did just that, I took pictures and placed the ad.

These couple of weeks have been so hard. But I keep seeking Him and trusting Him. I've kept my mouth shut and I have to keep going back to the RYM book and rereading it to keep me in check. I know He is working and when I least expect it He shows me signs. I feel joy and faith in Him! I give You all the glory my Beloved! You are faithful. I honor You, I praise You and I love You. Thank you!

Psalm 86:17 "Show me a sign for good, that those who hate me may see it and be ashamed,

Because You, O Lord, have helped me and comforted me.

Exodus 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

These Truths are what keep coming in my mind to fight the battle. When I would see so much going on I would say Prov. 3:5 in my mind. Now He is showing me a sign for good.

Read Janelle Bio and continue to follow her on our blog ~ Janelle in Oklahoma