Man United Yap

Excerpt From "Noah's Final Premier League Predictions"

They have been horrifying this season. From losing to terrible clubs, to players missing the net, to having a large problem between the sticks, Manchester United is another club that needs a rebuild. All they do is drop points and perform like little kids. They couldn’t beat Coventry in 90 minutes! Sack Erik Ten Hag has been unacceptable.

Ok, I am going to yap for a second. First of all, Antony is the worst player this planet has seen. He has played in just about every game this season and has gotten 1 assist and 1 goal. That is STUPID! And then when he scores, against a 2nd division club like Wigan Athletic, he celebrates like they won the World Cup! Isn’t that STUPID?

Second of all, Marcus Rashford? More like Marcus Trashford! Apart from his Manchester Derby goal what did he do? Nothing! He is now starting on the bench while Amad Diallo is getting minutes. FYI, Amad Diallo is a 21-year-old kid who barely ever plays and is slow. But yet he starts on the left wing and manages to score. Marcus Trashford can’t even do that.

Third of all, I don’t want to hear it Mark Goldbridge. Rasmus Hojund had an eight-game phase where he scored 7 goals. Then you thought he was the next Haaland. But Haaland is a good striker. Hojund is nothing but garbage. He ghosts every game and does nothing but run around like a wild moose on the pitch when he gets his undeserved playtime.

“Woohoo! We beat Brentford 2-1! Mason Mount scored!” 1. That is not an accomplishment beating a horrible club like Brentford. 2. Mason Mount is one of the worst players I’ve seen in my lifetime. 3. Just because you guys got lucky doesn’t mean your the next Real Madrid. 4. That was probably the only moment Man United celebrated.

Finally, not only are the fans crying the stadium is too because a few days ago water started leaking out of the Old Trafford roof and you guys got your own waterfall! No wonder your club is crying! I just want it to flood again at a game, that would be hilarious. I am a big Man City fan but this section of this editorial isn’t bias at all. It is just facts. Man United fans could even agree with me.

That basically means instead of Man United using their money to buy better players; if they could be any good playing for a trash club like United, you guys now have to spend your money on fixing the tears from your stadium. That must suck big time. So you may ask, what will next season bring? As an English fan would say, “Horrible playing, mate!”

I’m not going to even give United advice. It is kind of funny watching them destroy themselves.